In this episode of OutBüro Voices featuring LGBTQ professionals, entrepreneurs, and community leaders from around the world, host Dennis Velco chats with Christopher Clawson-Rule, publisher, author, out gay entrepreneur.Read more
Tag: LGBT Author
Ray Barron-Woolford is a life-time community activist, broadcaster, playwright, and author. His most recent play is Liberty about Kath Duncan’s role in establishing the LGBTQ and civil rights movement in 1930’s Britain, laying the groundwork for The National Council Civil Liberties. Liberty is based on his book The Last Queen of Scotland exploring the rich and fascinating life of Kath Duncan.
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Kath Duncan was a significant figure during the 1930s involved in nearly every significant civil rights movement, revered and respected by most. She was a personal good friend of Winston Churchill’s wife before she married Churchill and remained close. Kath was a lesbian and married a gay man to hide their sexual orientation during a time that was not welcoming. Due to her political views and activism, she was under surveillance by the British government. There is therefore a tremendous amount of documentation about her life, who she associated with, where she went, and even what she ate. Ray petitioned access to the government records on Duncan which offers his book on her incredible rich accurate details. After the book was released Ray was encouraged to write a play to help bring Kath Duncan’s story to life. In our, discussion Ray describes the process he went through and the details of creating a period of work. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kath_Duncan
In a short time, his play gained attention and he was contacted by #Netflix who optioned it as a movie or series.
She was a diminutive school teacher from Kirkcaldy who enjoyed an “extraordinary” friendship with Winston Churchill and spent two terms in jail as she led some of the biggest civil rights campaigns of her generation.
But the story of Kath Duncan, a powerful orator “everyone was scared of” has, up until now, gone largely unnoticed by a modern audience.
Newspapers of the day dedicated countless column inches to the activities of the Scot, who was involved at the highest level in campaigns such as the 1920s hunger marches and the fight against Oswald Mosley’s fascists. She took on slum landlords, rallied against gas price rises for the poor and, later, acted as a recruiter and fundraiser for the Spanish Civil War. She was also a suffragette. But her legacy has been largely airbrushed out of history, according to Raymond Woolford, author of The Last Queen of Scotland, who said Duncan should be celebrated as a working-class hero.
Woolford said: “We get taught about our kings and queens and tyrants and yet working class heroes, ordinary women like Kath, who became extraordinary, are left in the shadows. It is long overdue that Kath is recognised as a national treasure.
“In the post-war context, Kath would stand out from the crowd and become arguably the greatest UK civil rights activist of the past 100 years; no other activist was as forceful as her in her leadership in so many different campaigns.”
For more of Ray’s background watch or listen to Getting to Know Ray Baron Woolford – Part 1 at https://www.outburo.com/getting-to-know-ray-baron-woolford-part-1/
Connect with Ray on OutBüro. https://www.outburo.com/profile/raybarronwoolford/
Join Ray on OutBüro, the LGBTQ professional and entrepreneur online community network for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, allies and our employers who support LGBTQ welcoming workplace equality focused benefits, policies, and business practices. https://www.OutBuro.com
Would you like to be featured like this? Contact the host Dennis Velco. https://www.outburo.com/profile/dennisvelco/
In this episode of OutBüro Voices featuring LGBTQ professionals, entrepreneurs, and community leaders from around the world, host Dennis Velco chats with Victoria Villasenor.
Be prepared to laugh and perhaps tear up a little too. Victoria Villasenor is an out lesbian entrepreneur, award-winning author, editor, author’s coach, community service leader, and simply a wonderful soul. We had such a great conversation.
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As she states, “Do well, to do good. I love words. I love molding them, playing with them, learning about them. I love helping other people use them. I love to read and I’m a fan of pretty much every genre out there. Through my work with Global Wordsmiths and Global Words Press, I get to spend all my time doing things with words, which makes me a very happy editor.”
Global Wordsmiths is a community interest company, meaning a big part of what they do is community-based. This is important to Victoria and evident in our chat. There are so many people who feel unheard and unseen, and finding ways to give them a platform to be heard is seen is vital. To date, they have done fourteen books with organizations like Nottingham Hospice, AGE UK, Trans4me, and the Southwell Workhouse all in where the youth or elderly re dived validation, guidance, and support in sharing their stories. Victoria has an MA in English composition and literature. She has written and published six novels under a pen name, as well as lots of short stories. She teaches workshops for various organizations and lead writing retreats in other countries.
- 01:15 Brief introduction and overview of Global Wordsmith’s a book editing and author advising company. They also run a community non-profit side that works with community organizations.
- 05:00 Victoria discusses why authors seek their help and their process 06:00 Victoria is also an award-winning author herself
- 07:00 We chat about, talkers, ideas, and dreamers versus action and doing.
- 09:20 Part of taking action is surrounding yourself with others who have common interests, goals, who you can learn from, with and support one another
- 9:50 Some think, “I can read, so I can write”, but that’s not true. It is a craft and skill that must be developed and honed.
- 12:00 Working with a professional editor helps hone your product to be the best it can be when released into the world
- 13:00 Know your audience
- 20:00 The process Victoria discusses the process of working with authors and the depth of services they seek
- 25:00 Victoria’s community side works with kids working storytelling to help them connect with their school curriculum
- 29:00 One community project was working with transgender youth helping them share their story, connect and communicate
- 31:00 Other community projects have been working with the elderly in group homes to help them connect, share and come together to bond and diminish the feeling of isolation
- 35:30 Victoria met her wife through the community work. Their shared passion turned into relationship passion.
- 36:00 Their work touch and changes lives
- 38:00 Your story matters, you matter, and you are not alone
Connect with Victoria on OutBüro at: https://www.outburo.com/profile/victoriavillasenor/
Join Victoria on OutBüro, the LGBTQ professional and entrepreneur online community network for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, a.lies and our employers who support LGBTQ welcoming workplace equality focused benefits, policies, and business practices. https://www.OutBuro.com
Would you like to be featured like this? Contact the host Dennis Velco. https://www.outburo.com/profile/dennisvelco/
In this episode of OutBüro Voices featuring LGBTQ professionals, entrepreneurs, and community leaders from around the world, host Dennis Velco chats with Terry Dyer is an African American gay author.
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His first book titled “Letters to a Gay Black Boy” is released in a critical time of public dialog about racial disparity, inequality, tensions, ignorance, biases, and more throughout the United States and around the world. Similar issues are still faced at this time within the LGBTQ community. Dyer takes a head-on approach to authentically personalize the issues, struggles, trials, and tribulations of growing up in the United States as both an African American black male and an intersection with also being gay. This is a book that transcends race and sexuality. It is about self-appreciation, self-acceptance, and self-love.
The book is a compilation of letters written from an adult self to his younger self. It is chock-full of heartfelt, honest, raw, funny, sad, personal, practical, truthful, and wisdom laden advice from his years of life lessons learned and experiences had. It is an, “I wish I had known then what I know now” passing of the torch so that others today may identify with, connect with, and perhaps take away some knowledge to help them feel they are not alone. They too may rise above. They too may find their true self no matter their current situation. They too have the strength, right, and power to be happy, authentic in self-love, and true unconditional love from others.
Get your copy of “Letters to a Gay Black Boy” here: https://amzn.to/3goZurj
To connect with Terry find him on OutBüro here. https://www.outburo.com/profile/terrydyer/
Join me and Terry on OutBüro, the LGBTQ professional and entrepreneur online community network for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, allies and our employers who support LGBTQ welcoming workplace equality focused benefits, policies, and business practices. https://www.OutBuro.com
Would you like to be featured like this? Contact the host Dennis Velco. https://outburo.com/profile/dennisvelco/
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David Clive Price is an out LGBT entrepreneur mental wellbeing life coach, author and so much more. David has traveled the globe and lived in several countries which have given him a keen perspective on multiculturalism and leadership styles within different cultural contexts. David like so many, particularly persons in the LGBT community, struggled with coming to terms with family and society messaging of norms versus his authentic self. Despite outward signs of success, he like many struggled with internally owning his own narrative and views which lead to depression and anxiety. Over time David learned to reframe the past messages or programs that led to the substance abuse overcome. Through his books and personal mental wellbeing, David has transformed his life into supporting others on their own journey of working through addictions, depression, anxiety, and other issues that hold you back from living a full, thriving authentic and healthy life.
David on OutBüro > https://www.outburo.com/profile/dcp1997/
- 01:15 Introducing David Clive Price
- 3:00 Discussion of book Bamboo Strong
- 9:00 Acknowledging the Past to Move Forward
- 18:00 Phases of life
- 23:00 You cannot change the past yet you can choose how you react and respond. You control yourself.
- 26:00 You cannot change others, you may, however, set boundaries and enforce them 30:00 Habits create triggers and emotions have brain chemical associations that you become addicted to. Even the feeling of anger, victimization, and all other have a chemical reaction in the brain that you become addicted to. You can learn to reduce and eliminate those addictions and replace them with healthy habits and feelings.
- 36:00 Having a wellness life coach can help you in your process
David is well known for his clarity of analysis and approach, drawing on his experience and passion for people and cultures all over the world. He brings a strong comparative mindset to the challenges of his clients, enabling them to overcome their doubts and fears and to discover their true inner selves. Combining ancient healing practices such as the Korean art of nunchi (gauging other people’s feelings) with a holistic approach to self-leadership, David developed the Hidden Demons Method™: Discover Your Superpower. With this method he helps clients look within themselves and discover their true inner voice, overcoming their Hidden Demons of anxiety, addiction, and fear of failure. He then sets them on a course to higher performance, fulfillment, and authenticity. This superpower framework has been adopted by individuals, teams, and institutions all over the world and can be applied in any business or start-up. David is a living example of his principle of Daring to Dream. He coaches, teaches mental, and spiritual healing, speaks, motivates, and lives his global mission of helping others to discover their true selves.
Now more than ever we need a guide on how to survive not only with our mental and emotional health intact, but also strengthened, full of resourcefulness and agility, ready to combat our Hidden Demons. Chaos strikes and suddenly we realize we are more fragile than we thought — more exposed, unsafe, less in control. It is easy to invoke resilience. However, resilience is in short supply for many people who cannot quite understand what has hit them, either financially or in the loss of their usual bonds and customs. We need guides on how we can survive not only with our mental and emotional wellbeing intact, but also strengthened, full of resourcefulness and agility.
Now more than ever we need a guide on how to survive not only with our mental and emotional health intact, but also strengthened, full of resourcefulness and agility, ready to combat our Hidden Demons.
Throughout this course and its six modules, David shows that the path to rediscovering your life and purpose starts with tiny steps. It begins with getting yourself up off the floor (almost literally in his case). It continues in the days and weeks ahead as you seek to discover what your inner voices are telling you about your Hidden Demons, about your past, about social conventions, about your true talents – and whether you are really listening. More often than not, it’s two steps forward and one step back. Nothing can be achieved in a day, but everyone has a path to their true self and calling. It won’t come from social media. It won’t come from following movements and demagogues. It can come from the simplest of journeys, even imaginatively – to a college campus, to a forest for a walk, to the seaside, or to an unfamiliar city. But first of all you have to get to the starting point. That for many people is the most difficult step.
Learn the Six Life Strategies that David has developed to keep the mindset, habits and perspective needed to stay centered, focused, healthy, and strong throughout this and future crises.
David’s own life has not always been easy, and he has experienced constant challenges along the way, both as a gay man and as a relapsing alcoholic. However, he transparently shares in every section of his book and course what his “Hidden Demons” were ⎯ and as you follow along, you will discover that the Hidden Demons method™ is not only about fear, addictions and bringing hope and comfort in the darkness. It is so much more; it is a flashlight we all need on our journey to awaken our true greatness.
About David Clive Price, Ph.D.
Born in South London to Welsh parents, David graduated from Cambridge University with a Ph.D. in Renaissance History, won a British Academy fellowship to lecture at Bologna University, and wrote his first books — including his first novel — when living as a farmer-translator in Tuscany. He then moved to Japan and Hong Kong to study Asian cultures while taking up his first professional position at the Economist Intelligence Unit. This was followed by five years as the chief speechwriter for Asia for the HSBC Group during the return of Hong Kong to China. In parallel with his professional career, he continued to develop a passion for the people, religions and cultures of the world, which was reflected in a series of travel books including a study of Buddhism and spiritual beliefs in Asian daily life.
His successful track record in high-level communications for global CEOs, senior leaders, and politicians, which he carried forward in his coaching and writing consultancy on leaving HSBC, gave him a special insight into the challenges of high performance and behavioral change. These insights now inform his work with people of many different backgrounds as they seek to move forward and overcome the stress, burnout, and anxiety they are facing in their personal and professional lives. Speaking English, French, German, Italian and Cantonese, and having lived and worked in numerous countries, Dr. David Clive Price’s multicultural experience informs all his executive coaching, as well as his bestselling books Bamboo Strong with Foreword by Dr.Marshall Goldsmith, and the upcoming Hidden Demons: How to Overcome Fear, Anxiety, and Addiction in Uncertain Times.
Conversation Auto Transcript
The below was created through voice to text recognition. We will strive to edit for accuracy as time permits. It may not be perfect. It is being provided for the hearing impaired to still enjoy the interview.
Unknown Speaker 0:02
Unknown Speaker 0:05
Hello, this is Dennis Velco with OutBüro your website for LGBT professional and entrepreneurial endeavors. You are listening to this week’s episode of our new podcast again where we bring you interesting, lively, and sometimes hopefully entertaining conversations with LGBT entrepreneurs and professionals as well as community leaders spanning the globe. Thank you so much for tuning in. If you are watching this on YouTube, take a few moments and subscribe right now hit that subscribe button as well as the bell that will ensure that you are notified as soon as new episodes come available. Also, you’re able to subscribe. Follow us on in places such as Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify I Heart Radio and about 10 other podcasts so that you can listen to out your voices on the go at the gym, in your car on your way to work doing house chores line on the beaches, so much more tuned in with every episode to out your voices. And today we are very happy to have David Clive Price. He is an author, a mental health specialist, and an all-around guru on building change and leadership into your life. Thank you so much for joining us today. David. Thank you for having me. It’s a pleasure to be here Dennis. Wonderful, wonderful and you are hailing from across the pond as from the UK, correct?
Unknown Speaker 1:46
Yes. From Blighty, as they called it, during the war they called it Blighty, so old Blighty
Unknown Speaker 1:56
the United Kingdom Yes,
Unknown Speaker 1:58
wonderful land. For our viewers and listeners, what area of the UK Are you coming from?
Unknown Speaker 2:03
I’m coming from speaking from London. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 2:07
yes. Wonderful and gorgeous city. So, David, why don’t we kind of jump in to you giving us a bit of your background, which is very rich and diverse. And of course we strive for data an hour, I know you could probably speak for six or more hours with as much as going on, and you’re interesting books. But let’s give a little overview as to your background. And then we’ll lead into kind of a chronological step up from back then through your current projects.
Unknown Speaker 2:43
Sounds great, well, that’d be playing it straight in and say that I help entrepreneurs and LGBTQ professionals to overcome mental health challenges, such as fear, anxiety and addiction, so that they can face their Hidden demons and create a more fulfilled life and abundant business. So I’m the author of bamboo strong cultural intelligence secrets to succeed in the new global economy. and, more recently, the age of pluralism, global intelligence for emerging leaders. Okay, so
Unknown Speaker 3:23
just a little bit. Tell us just a little bit about the the bamboo strong. That’s an interesting title.
Unknown Speaker 3:31
Yeah, well, as the title suggests, it’s to do with, with bending in the wind, if you like, metaphorically, strong, but also resisted, strong, but flexible and agile. And that is the central thesis of the book really, which is based on my own travels and experiences around the world, and particularly in Asia Pacific, but also you In the States and Europe, in South America, with different countries and cultures and backgrounds dealing with people of difference of our differences, in other words,
Unknown Speaker 4:13
and the book
Unknown Speaker 4:16
has as its framework, what’s called the cultural intelligence or CQ model, a four part model to help you relate with, make relationships with, negotiate with, understand the differences of and create emotional intelligence for dealing with people of many backgrounds and cultures, races, generations and creeds. So the book goes on the journey through through my own life experiences by using this CPU model.
Unknown Speaker 4:54
Okay, well that certainly, and all the times but especially in today’s since times here in the United States with racial tensions and so forth. I’m sure that your book would be bamboo strong would be an excellent read for for anyone, but particularly those in whatever leadership positions you might find yourself and whether that’s leadership in an organization via an employer or even a community nonprofit sounds like a really good read, especially now in today’s time.
Unknown Speaker 5:30
Yes, we’re dealing with a great deal of tension around diversity and inclusion. We have maybe a lot of celebration of diversity, as we’ve had this month for gay pride, of course, but not so much necessarily of for inclusion. That’s both in society at large and in companies and corporations, etc. So there is a great The more education needed on the diversity and inclusion front, which this book tends to help with. And the follow up book which is called the age of pluralism, global intelligence for emerging leaders. So, those are in the back the younger generations to again with its own framework for dealing with differences personal, cultural, generational. So that is the background to my sorry, say, multi multiracial multicultural work and at the same time that the kind of qualities and capabilities are required for but working together well with people have many different backgrounds are similar to Those that we need in mental health challenges, which are also. So current and particularly now with the global pandemic, increasingly currents and increasing pandemic of mental health issues of all kinds. So,
Unknown Speaker 7:23
agility, looking within
Unknown Speaker 7:28
discovering inner resources, empathy, emotional intelligence, these are the kind of leadership issues and personal issues that that my books and my frameworks address.
Unknown Speaker 7:44
Okay, and just for audience, I can’t believe we didn’t escape. You’re also if I’m not mistaken. Psychologists
Unknown Speaker 7:52
know, I’m also qualified practitioner, as a psychologist. Now I’m a I’m a PhD. I saw the doctor
Unknown Speaker 7:59
guide Yeah, sorry, my mistake without I don’t have my glasses on to look at my notes.
Unknown Speaker 8:08
Okay, but definitely, definitely interesting topics and what is your PhD in?
Unknown Speaker 8:16
It’s in Renaissance history actually. Wow. So I took a great interest in history at college and at school indeed and then Cambridge I studied the Renaissance and actually Renaissance music and and then disappear from courts and country houses of idioms. Initially sauce. That’s what kicked off my interest and then I had a fellowship on the British Academy to go over to Italy.
Unknown Speaker 8:52
Unknown Speaker 8:53
I studied the northern Italian Renaissance courts. Wow for one, two years. At
Unknown Speaker 9:02
a beautiful period, but I would not want to live in that era. Just, you know, being being obviously also a gay person assuming that I grew up in a gay person then as well. But what’s what’s interesting though, is you know, from your your PhD in history looking at that, you know, and your, your travels in and around you, you live in so many places around the world, in in Asia and Africa, us and so forth. And, you know, being able to take a look at a historical and a cultural perspective because I firmly believe that for leaders and for you as an individual to really look forward, you also have to be able to look in the past and it’s not dwell on the past, but he is acknowledge the past right? So just like if you’re wanting to make changes in your own life, changes in your behaviors, you have to be able to acknowledge the past because if you just ignore it, and you have no no reference for it, when it comes to your own personal issues, then you’re less likely to successfully overcome it because you haven’t dealt with it properly. Yes, and when it comes to a business practice, being able to fully lead and drive new products and services, you know, like new product developments, one of the other guests. Two weeks ago, we talked about how, how important it is to be able to understand for example, the adoption of technologies, new products and services, and to to understand how your new product or service might be adopted today, you know, we might, it might not take us today. 10 years to a gap, for example, as it did from black and white television to colored television. And of course now, we all have basically one sitting here. You know, whatever I grew up, we had the big black huge console with the built in huge fingers. I mean, it was a piece of furniture, right? Yeah. Yeah. And and here we are, and same, you know, with you as well, you know, back back then that television, you had one TV per household, it was a coveted item. Everyone sat around it. Well, now everyone just walks around basically TV on their phone. And and so, you know, that that but being able to look at the past and say, you know, how did cultures or how did individuals consumers or or businesses adapt to this is that is a very strong point in Understanding how you can move forward when there are some gaps. But it definitely relates to your mental. Yes. mental challenges and mental mental opportunities. Yeah, looking,
Unknown Speaker 12:15
looking into your past Yes. or looking into analyzing the stories that you tell yourself. That’s one of the lead strategies in hidden demons, which is, you know, we have, some of them are conscious stories, but many of them are unconscious stories they may lay hidden within us that we’re not entirely aware of, and they may in some curious way still dictate our behavior and perhaps our mental health challenges as well. And so being able to analyze the stories or look within yourself for the stories, I think these are big and that relates more generally on the on the widest Scale to being able to look at our history to be able to look at the history of other cultures and have other people put to putting things in context. And to have more than one perspective in mind at the same time is Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 13:18
so that, you know, I heard I heard some other people perhaps this is try to explain as I understand it, and perhaps it’s explaining exactly what you said in a slightly different way. But I’d love to hear from you if it’s if it’s this similar kind of concept. And through some of the the work that I’ve done, I’ve heard it called, they termed it as your programming, right, having a track seven green, conscious and unconscious memory as programming. And so, you know, for example, if you grew up with a parent who from an early He gave you the signals that you were not worthy you are not going to amount to anything via verbal and or just through their actions through not paying attention to you through not helping you with your schoolwork. And then well, you know, I knew you weren’t going to do well in that. So why bother? Those are approved that’s laying down programming within the brain that says, I’m not worth spending time with. I’m not good at anything. And, and so it can affect how then you see the world view and interpret and interact with the world today.
Unknown Speaker 14:44
Yeah, and of course,
Unknown Speaker 14:46
Unknown Speaker 14:49
there’s ways so does your book in modern demons goes into ways to kind of rewrite those stories or rewrite those programs and you
Unknown Speaker 15:00
goes very much into how we can use those stories to move forward. And of course, for LGBTQ people, often the coming out story is the biggest story of all. And you know, all the what to say the the influx of emotions and secrecy and shame, perhaps that goes before coming out, especially to your family. And these can have reverberations throughout your life unless you’re aware of them. And of course, we can address these demons by becoming aware of them and that means looking at them. sounds simple, but it’s not so simple in reality, Ray’s story stories.
Unknown Speaker 15:56
Yeah. Well because you know, it is such a struggle that is partly due to the underlying reasoning why so many years study after study shows that some of the some of these studies I have written about some of them, I’ve just not gotten around to but they’re out there. So do Google them folks, is you know, study after study shows that LGBT you persons suffer from higher levels or more frequent levels of anxiety, depression, more a higher attempts of suicide. There’s just there’s lots of studies in and around the LGBTQ mental
Unknown Speaker 16:38
mental health. Yeah, and that
Unknown Speaker 16:40
and that I think goes a lot into you know, the rejections the bat because of religion, different religions around the world, who, you know, preach and or whatever they call it. I mean, I know I don’t misprint mistake for other religions and cultures. But you know, I grew up in a very fundamentalist right wing environment myself. To this day. My own father is extremely right wing I can’t even say the word community without him beginning his, quote scripture. So and and I know what that is what part of that is done for me and I’m not going to get into the whole story. I’ve been told I could write books about my youth and teenage years, not off centered around me but it all centered around religion and how it was used in a very negative way. And so so I really get that’s one thing why this really stuck out to me because I personally know how those stories you know, sometimes you’ll find or antidote to flee that LGBT people work, you know, x men You know, x times harder, x times more, it’s like we’re always trying to prove ourselves. So yes,
Unknown Speaker 18:07
Unknown Speaker 18:08
I think is trying to overcome those stories overcome those programming. But then there’s also a string of self destruction. also kind of going into those programs or stories as you call them. And it’s like, well, if I’m not worthy, why bother? Why shouldn’t I just drink myself into a stupor every night? No one cares, right? I mean, that’s what does the programming that gets put into your mind if I’m not worthy enough for my own family from my own parents love and my own father’s acceptance in my own mother’s acceptance, or my own siblings acceptance then then why should I even exist, so who cares I’ll just go out and party every night and have fun because I’m not going to live anyways. Because you know, all those negative kind of stories come in and can lead to a life and Like style of kind of nonchalant, nonchalant pneus yet, yet, what’s interesting is the dualism, I work Work, Work work, you know, I, when I say I, you know, putting this in framework of the listener is, you know, you work, work, work, work work to try to prove yourself, but then also have these destructive behaviors kind of happening simultaneously. So, if I could do a chunk about those,
Unknown Speaker 19:27
yeah, I mean, I maybe had a less less than tolerant family and mother and father. But there probably was something there that particularly for my father that was always kind of in the background, even when I came out and he more or less accepted it and my mother more or less accepted it, etc, etc. But there’s just one little example is the school play. I was playing Hamlet course as a little achiever to at school. So I had to be, you know, handwritten Could school play and as kind of honor that last night and the parents came along and I was quite pleased with myself, I thought it went well. And I went up to the balcony later to see them and expected them to say, David, that was terrific. You know, we really enjoyed it. I know how they got peak, they more or less got up and said, I think it’s time now to go to the car. And I realized that that I didn’t realize then but later on thinking about it, it’s because they thought that confirm certain tendencies. This is before I came out to be fair, you know, confirm certain tendencies. And it’s, you know, it’s, you’re always achieving a lot of people a lot of LGBTQ people continue to achieve achieve achieve throughout their lives and always have a slight sense of they’re not quite good enough, which is what I explore in the book as well. But however much you do, whatever success you have, there’s something not quite right. And I have clients in my local LGBT few Leaders Program now who do talk about this kind of underlying our knees but needing to refine that purpose. And and listening to those stories. As I said earlier, that’s one of the techniques that we use to go deeper down. And then living in the present too. That’s another big strategy that we’re always projecting. unease or dissatisfaction onto the future or will it will it? Will it realize my fears that I had when I was a child or when I was a adolescent boy, young man will the next 10 year will the next five When will something go wrong? Even when we’ve got you know everything going for us will something go wrong?
Unknown Speaker 22:08
Unknown Speaker 22:12
things that we have to deal with and come out on the other side off.
Unknown Speaker 22:18
Personally I struggled with alcoholism, depression, anxiety, and not constantly I achieved in between, you know, I was speechwriter for one for one of the world’s largest banks. I wrote several travel books about different countries around the world a show etc.
Unknown Speaker 22:42
And I you know, I then
Unknown Speaker 22:46
always rebounding to alcohol
Unknown Speaker 22:50
even though I found my life’s true love, you know, we call so you know, there’s always a sort of underlying, eventually I got through it. And now I’m a reasonably successful entrepreneur life coach, but you know, you have to go through certain phases unfortunately as a gay man or at least be aware of them as an LGBTQ person or at least be aware of them because they are there to trip you up and that’s why the book is called hidden demons how to overcome fear and anxiety and addiction to thrive in uncertain times. Okay,
Unknown Speaker 23:29
well in and this you know, for for those listening is and watching is it’s this is about dealing with your your past and helping to frame that and put perspective around it. You can’t change your past, but you can change the way you view it. That’s your choice. Okay, you can’t, you can’t change what people have said to you and done to you. However, what you can Choose is how you react and respond to that. Because you have, it’s you who control you. Right? Yeah. If someone makes you angry, No, they didn’t. You made yourself angry. You chose to take that reaction and take that response. If someone disrespected, you know, you chose to take it that way. It’s all in your own choices right here has nothing to do with the other person. They’re going on. They’re going about their lives. If you know if you happen to be like me, and even as of two Christmases ago, I mean, it was chaotic. You know, I my father was asking about me moving further south, which was to Fort Lauderdale. Oh, well, why are you moving Being down there. And you know, I’ve learned throughout the years to avoid key words that would set him into his religious tirades. And finally, but he has learned keep pressing Dennis with question and question and question and question until I hear the question or until I hear the the the trigger and then I get to go off and I can justify it and I can be my religious asshole. So, well. Do you know what that particular Christmas was? I stopped reacting. I simply put my finger is from his nose and I said stop. You stop. I’m a 15 year old man and I will not tolerate it any longer. It’s your choice. You will not you will not get the upset, but I will not tolerate it. We chose to say that we are going to respect each other. And that means if you ask me a question you have to be adult enough to leave Listen to the answer. And so that was a big step for me. Yeah. And you know, I’ve always have been the person who pushed and asked questions and questions and yeah, we’ve always as I like to say we’ve always had great pleasantry conversations pleasantries, just talking about the little niceties, gardening, housework and so forth, but when it comes to, and his job and all of that, but really not about life, you know, and, and that’s unfortunate, but you know, you can’t change other people. You have to be able to take your life and control you. Right. Sometimes you have to put boundaries on other people, because they they purposely try to poke and prod, which is what he did for years. Yeah. Kind of childish. But
Unknown Speaker 26:56
Unknown Speaker 26:58
but you’re right you control you I think that’s very right. Yeah. You control you
Unknown Speaker 27:05
laterally. Yes. Yes. You You control you,
Unknown Speaker 27:08
you are not controlled by the outside forces, whatever they are external forces you control you. Absolutely.
Unknown Speaker 27:18
Yeah. And so when when you then utilize books like these, and all of them sound like incredible worthy reads is you’re then able to put those into perspective and put your own history to perspective and say, Alright, and you know, the past is the past you can’t change it. You can’t change the way you reacted and responded based on those triggers that were very ingrained that programming that was very ingrained. But what you can do is you can change the way you react, you know, it’s just like, just like stopping drink, or for pay out. I will share something have you guys here? Okay, so if you’ve even just listened to these, you know, about three years ago, I had a divorce and a 17 year relationship Well, me being me, because I’ve had a two, a NINE and a 17 year relationship. So I’ve been in relationships like 98% of mine and not always good. I would stay in them for all kinds of reasons. convenience. Just, I would stay in bad relationships. But, so just three and a half months after being out of the will, three and a half months of being on my own living on my own. What does dentists do? Next? prep basically next guy that comes along, man, within a month, we’re living together. I mean, this is as my friends like to say. That is yours, that is u haul packing. lesbians. You know, as soon as you start dating someone, you’re like, boom, boom, boom, you know, you’re picking out the chick next trying to patterns. like omg. Well, this this fella smokes cigarettes. I’ve never smoked cigarettes in my life. outside of here, there’s, you know, one or two, you know, kind of a thing now and then like once a year kind of thing. And this guy smokes, regularly, constantly, almost every day says he’s going to stop. But, you know, as we started to go out, he would, you know, pass me a cigarette, and say, Okay, and then another and then another. Then as I started to stay at his house, he began to leave two or three a day for me. Then it became five or six, then it became half a pack. Within within about three month period, I went from not smoking basically my entire life to smoke today, and it took me almost two years. And finally, one day, I just had to say, Stop. What the f are you doing? Hmm. And and to be honest, it’s turned off other guys that I was interested in. Yeah. And it’s like, if for nothing else I need to stop because of that, right. But it was that little bit of, I guess a little bit of social programming that happened in a very short time period. So when you now is
Unknown Speaker 30:29
Unknown Speaker 30:31
yes. which create triggers. And this also when you’re a child, and when you’re a young person and you’re growing up, also the experiences that you have have chemical triggers. Yes. And those Exactly. And those become you become addicted to those chemical triggers in the brain.
Unknown Speaker 30:54
Yes, but you can and unlearn them. Yes. It’s a big thing. But that’s what the book talks about a lot. Just like fear, anxiety, depression, they are kind of addiction. They’re definitely a habit. And just like those habits can can be unlearned. They can be you can learn new habits that take that place, not immediately. Not, you know, I got, I got a box, the one out of the box, kind of a quick solution to that. Not immediately, but one step at a time. In my case, one day at a time, I was throwing myself off my bedroom, balcony at high up in Hong Kong until the airport expressway I was about to
Unknown Speaker 31:48
you know, and but somehow I came back from that thinking of my my loved one, I mean my other half
Unknown Speaker 31:58
but the habits Gone to this extent that I was that I was on the anti suicide. The habit also was taking one step back, taking two step back, thinking of Simon three steps back, getting to the sofa, holding on to the sofa clutching x, then finding the phone, then finding the Samaritan number from directory inquiries, then getting that then them talking to me. Then by eight o’clock in the morning, this was like four in the in the morning by eight o’clock in the morning, I knew I could get down in the elevator down to the lobby, and then call up a friend and then go over to a friend’s house for two days. But the steps back from those black holes in our lives are so important, and everything can be replaced with a new habit. Yes, new and new habits of sobriety. For example,
Unknown Speaker 33:00
of absence of fear of not projecting
Unknown Speaker 33:07
nervousness or anxiety onto the future, with living one day at a time, etc, etc. So, and happiness
Unknown Speaker 33:17
and this new habits taking time is is, you know getting Where’s kind of going would be the that temporary smoking thing because it’s just like I learned that that new habit over about a two month period it took about two months also for me to once I finally made the decision, it took about that same amount of time to end. And, you know, those long held ingrained beliefs. As David was saying, you know, they just don’t go away immediately because they are long held ingrained. Yeah, stories slash programs and they take a conscious effort To adjust. And so so you offer Well, a mental well being life coaching. Yes. And so do you then help your clients make these adjustments?
Unknown Speaker 34:16
Yes, that’s part of the programs Very much so. And not all LGBTQ clients but I do have a special program for LGBTQ professionals. But yeah, I help them with the these kinds of issues. It was a six, six module six parts program really to overcome your hidden demons to lead a more fulfilled and abundant life, the most satisfying with free of unease and curious unease that we LGBTQ people have until he’s, in my case well into my second adulthood or boyhood, or whatever I’m in at the moment. Right?
Unknown Speaker 35:11
Well, and you know, it’s no disrespect to, you know, any mental health care practitioner, you know, out out there. But you know, when it comes to authenticity, knowing that someone has gone through something in my personal opinion, makes them more relatable
Unknown Speaker 35:33
Unknown Speaker 35:36
you know, again, no, no disrespect and maybe maybe someone in the comments will say, No, that’s absolutely not right. You don’t have to have been a you know, addicted to drugs or alcohol in order to be effective counselor. No, no, I you know, I guess not. But I had several people in my my my life who have gone through rehabilitation from both. And the the over arching or the commonality in the several people that I know. They, again, no please don’t hate on me whatever and comments and all of that, but there, they had a better success. And they opened up more when they knew that the that their counselor had gone through something that they like, was it always the exact same thing? You know, like one was addicted to methamphetamines, unfortunately, which is very rampant in the LGBT community, especially the gaming community. And but the person his counselor was an a, you know, a recovered alcoholic, that made him just feel more like Oh, you’ve you’ve gone through something you’ve overcome something so therefore you get me. And it was, maybe it was just from this one person that a friend has done for you. She was a total like Christine person hadn’t, you know, perfect life perfect. Everything had hadn’t had anything. And, and I don’t know if maybe she conveyed to too much of that to my friend, but it was just they were not he was not opening up to her. And I think it’s because he felt like she was just had couldn’t relate, you know, like clinically, you know, one thing is to be clinically textbook. The other thing is to have life experiences and wisdom. Does that make sense? And I’m open to people having comments and so forth. If you do, folks, just whatever platform you’re on, put comments down below what your thoughts are on that. What are your thoughts on that game?
Unknown Speaker 37:54
Well, I think as a coach in general, as a life coach Pat’s particular You need to trust you need to build that relationship of trust. And sometimes it’s more difficult if you’re only working together on a high powered professional level or as the achieving coach and the you know yet to achieve. Coaching is something to do with trust and particularly in these areas of mental health. But that is really, really important. relatable. I think a lot of coaches try to be relatable and the coaching relationship is based on on being relatable and integrity. But sometimes it’s the trust factor is missing the full trust and being, as you say, able to to relate to someone who been there and done that in many ways and has a lot of experiences to tell. which gives me You know, I’m, I’m privileged to do this work and but, and honored to, to help people because I’ve also been incredibly lucky to have so many experiences all over the world to have a rich and diverse background, I’m very lucky if I’m able to say that now beforehand, if when I was drinking, I probably there was another one, or I did not flatter my back in my Tokyo flat for the 12th time, you know, Night after night, waking up at six in the morning in your own body, etc. You know, and and that’s after writing a couple of books, and that’s after being well respected. I wrote my first novel setting in New York again, otherwise it happens called Alphabet City. I’ve had a little bit of success that the gay writer on white wrote a great review of it and endorsed it, etc. But then I went back to Italy and then things began to fall to pieces again and then I’m back on the old vino from I had a little farm in Italy. After I finished my fellowship together my first partner we bought a little farm, but two or three, four years there, I wrote my first books and and was a wine and olive farmer which I loved. But also titling the wine. You know, as a wind farmer, you’re allowed to triple A wine at five in the morning, right with a garlic bread and tomato. So while you’re doing your vines, so yeah,
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Scott Vedder is an LGBT entrepreneur focusing as a professional career coach helping to craft resumes that stand out effectively communicating the skills and past success that align with a candidate’s ideal target jobs. Job search tips for writing a great resume for all including military veterans transitioning to civilian careers, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) professionals seeking a career change and new job. Maximize your resume to improve your job search chances.
- 01:50 Introducing Scott Vedder
- 02:50 Most resumes are awful so he wrote a book to help
- 03:30 Special edition for US military veterans
- 07:20 US Veterans are some of the best job candidates in the workforce
- 08:15 Signs of a great resume to quantify what makes you a great fit for the job
- 10:30 Your LinkedIn profile should not be a literal copy of your resume. Think of it as a marketing brochure. Make it POP.
- 12:30 Tips to create an amazing resume that intrigues and WOW’s like a movie trailer.
- 14:00 Networking and relationship building should be ongoing
- 18:00 You will NEVER hear a recruiter say, “The candidate made it too easy to see why they are a great fit for this job”
- 18:30 The biggest mistake you can make on a resume is writing it like a job description.
- 20:45 Lose the jargon. Keep the language simple, concise and typically no acronyms unless super commonly known
- 28:45 Should you be OUT as LGBTQ on your resume?
- 33:00 Researching employers on their LGBTQ inclusiveness – it is darn difficult
- 37:00 Join HTTP://WWW.OUTBURO.COM add your professional profile, rate/review your current and recent past employers so that your ratings provide feedback to employers and are available for future candidates
- 42:00 Ways to further research a potential employer’s LGBTQA friendliness
Scott Vedder conducted over 5,000 interviews as a recruiter at a Fortune 100 company. He quickly discovered that a good résumé is truly hard to come by and that most applicants don’t have a clue what recruiters want to see. Scott’s book “Signs of a Great Résumé” is a #1 best-selling book on Amazon.com and has been endorsed as “Recommended Reading” by the Central Florida Employment Council (CFEC) and the Central Florida Jobs Initiative. Scott is often quoted as an expert resource and is a regular contributor to a number of international blogs, magazines, syndicated newspaper columns, and web sites. Scott has also been interviewed on dozens of live television and radio news programs. While on speaking engagement’s Scott was often asked by military veterans how to best translate their military experience to a civilian job market. This led to the adapted version of his best selling book to focus on military veterans. His focus on and strong involvement with veteran groups led him to be personally invited to the White House twice under two administrations to be recognized by the Society for Human Resource Management, Women Unlimited and the Metropolitan Business Association, LGBT Chamber of Commerce for his contributions and for helping job seekers around the world.
Scott Vedder on OutBüro > https://www.outburo.com/profile/scott_vedder/
- Signs of a Great Resume – Book (Get it on Amazon at https://amzn.to/31V0NKg)
- Signs of a Great Resume – Veterans Edition (Get it on Amazon at https://amzn.to/2DnLwra)
Signs of a Great Resume – Book
Scott’s #1 best-selling book, Signs of a Great Résumé, will teach you how to write a résumé that speaks for itself. This lighthearted book presents an effective approach to the serious business of writing résumés. Scott’s style is humorous, easy to understand and fun to read …if he does say so himself!
Scott has developed a simple way to make your résumé speak for itself, using !@#$%, the Signs of a Great Résumé. Each sign showcases your experience and skills and highlights your greatest achievements and contributions.
- ! Any part of your experience that was “amazing!”
- @ Defining points, places, dates, and things in your career
- # Numbers that quantify and prove your past successes
- $ The dollar value of your contributions
- % Figures that easily show growth and results
Whether you’re a recent grad or a CEO, a garbage collector or an astrophysicist, you can use Signs of a Great Résumé to make your experience shine… and recruiters love to see some nice, shiny experience on a résumé!
This lighthearted book presents an effective approach to the serious business of writing résumés. Scott’s style is humorous, easy to understand and fun to read …if he does say so himself! In this book you’ll learn how to customize your résumé for each job using !@#$%, how to write a great cover letter and more.
Signs of a Great Resume – Veterans Edition
Veterans, transitioning service members and military families can get great new jobs in the civilian sector with Signs of a Great Résumé: Veterans Edition. Tell civilian recruiters, “I am a P.A.T.R.I.O.T.” Learn to highlight the military values and characteristics that make you a great candidate for the civilian workplace. Taking the above principle and further applying the veteran-specific skills referenced as PATRIOT to stand out and land that new civilian job.
Conversation Auto Transcrpit
The below was created through voice to text recognition. We will strive to edit for accuracy as time permits. It may not be perfect. It is being provided for the hearing impaired to still enjoy the interview.
Unknown Speaker 0:01
Hello, this is Dennis Velco with OutBüro that is oh you to be you are Oh, thank you so much for tuning in to OutBüro Voices, the new series where we are chatting with in a very casual and informative and hopefully a little bit entertaining way with LGBTQ leaders, entrepreneurs and professionals in all types of professions. Today we have a special guest named Scott Vetter. But before we get to him, make sure you take a few moments and hit the subscribe button down below if you are viewing on YouTube. If you are listening to this on one of the podcast apps such as Apple podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, I Heart Radio, Google Apps and about 10 others also know that you are able to view this directly on the out bureau podcasts or episode pages I might be changing that now that we’re doing more videos and then taking that to podcasts but know that you’re able to watch the videos on directly the out bureau comm website as well as the new YouTube channel so now if you search YouTube for LGBT entrepreneur or and or LGBT professional, guess what? OutBüro Voices pops up on the first pages so awesome. So we’re going to be bringing the helping to bring the visibility of LGBT entrepreneurs and professionals around the world to you. So again today, welcome, welcome. We have Scott a. Scott Vetter is a human resources professional with years of experience in the fortune 500 levels space He has written a book and adapted it for military veterans. And I much appreciate that being a US Army veteran myself. So welcome so much to the show, Scott. Well, thanks
Unknown Speaker 2:12
for having me here, Dennis. That’s a real privilege and a pleasure.
Unknown Speaker 2:15
Awesome. Well, I do appreciate you taking time out of your busy day to chat with us here. And as always, there is a little bit of format. I always like to start off with our guests, such as yourself, chatting a little bit about your history, a little bit of your career journey, and then we’ll move that into your your projects and so forth that’s been that you’ve been working on most recently.
Unknown Speaker 2:40
Sure, thanks. You know, I was like you said I worked in the fortune 500. I was a fortune 100 recruiter. And when I was recruiting, what I realized is, most people’s resumes are awful. And that wasn’t unique to military veterans or civilians. It was just most people didn’t know what I was looking for. How I use that information as a recruiter on a resume. So I wrote a book about it chiefly event, my own frustration there. Look at that. That’s a book. I’m on a book. That’s me.
Unknown Speaker 3:13
And I said, You know what, I think
Unknown Speaker 3:14
I can help people. And it really took off, you know, became a best seller. I went on the book tour, and wherever I’d go, I’d meet military veterans, they’d say, Hey, what about us? It’s different. And I’d say, Well, hey, what do I know I didn’t serve. But that my grandfather bill did. They were both army e6 is that’s a staff sergeant level when they got out, and nobody helped them. There were no transition programs, the Vietnam era or World War Two. And there’s a lot of great groups we have out there today. They’re helping in the transition.
Unknown Speaker 3:45
But we still haven’t quite found
Unknown Speaker 3:46
the magic recipe of how to translate and transfer all of the military experience to the civilian world. So that’s where I knew I had to help. So I became smarter about the military disability and career transition. It has become the really primary focus of my work with resumes. And I’ve become a passionate civilian advocate for veterans in the workforce. I actually was able to write a follow up version of the book just for veterans, the veterans edition of signs of a great resume. And I began networking and meeting people in the space actually earned myself a personal invitation to meet in the office of First Lady Michelle Obama at waco. Yeah, yeah, with the program they were doing at the time called Joining Forces. And then I also met with the warrior and family support group and the Office of the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff at the Pentagon, to provide a fair and balanced viewpoint and how I support veterans. I was actually invited last night out two years ago to the current administration’s White House, where I delivered my resume and interview workshops at the White House military office. And for those of you who have not served that’s the people who drive the beast of the President’s car and they run Camp David Air Force One and carry around the very important suitcase. Near proximity to the president all the time. So I got to help, you know, give a little insight as to what the next chapter of their career may look like for those who are transitioning. And of course, the caveat is no government, or God. Sponsorship is implied of any story is just this is one of the many ways I found my real passion in life, which is that I help people, especially veterans find success in their career. And now I do one on one interview and resume coaching with transitioning service members from all branches and civilians to but I work with a number of really great nonprofit organizations who support the veteran transition program and help fund services that really enable them for success in the civilian workforce.
Unknown Speaker 5:44
Okay, wonderful. Well, you know, I, it, there there are, it’s not too many, but what I’m saying is there’s a lot of people who do focus to some degree on helping people with their resume. And they’re, you know, career coaches and so forth. There’s a plethora of that for, you know, the general market. So you know, one way as an entrepreneur, no matter what kind of business you happen to run, is to focus on a niche market, whatever that happens to be, and so let’s say you’re a dog groomer. So then just focusing on you know, a particular breed if you happen to have around obviously, but just to try to draw the analogy here is if you are the best German Shepherd dog groomer in the your state, and you get all of the champions, you’re going to attract a certain level of prestige and you know, folks coming to you knowing that you are the specialist and that again, is really within any kind of a business category because you know, that really is how you can differentiate yourself in any category is is new Focus. And so that’s very interesting that you, you have taken that from your career and resume advice and focusing on the underserved market of the veterans coming coming out of service and transitioning into the workforce. So yeah,
Unknown Speaker 7:18
I think, well, in part, it’s formed by my strong belief that veterans are some of the best employees we have in the civilian workforce. They’re just some of the worst job candidates, because the one thing the military does not make them really good at doing while they’re in is becoming a civilian job candidate. And while there are programs, there’s something called tap transition assistance programs that start to teach some philosophical things about the transition, they only really scratched the surface. So that’s why it’s wonderful to see that there are many veteran service organizations specializing in this and several programs that even the Department of Defense has started to fund to really enable their success where I come in is really Helping to tell the story of how what you have done in the military or in any prior career relates to what you’re going to do in the civilian workforce. And that’s what I described as using What you see behind me the signs of a great resume. They probably look like curse words in a comic strip, I promise I’m not teaching veterans to curse on a resume. What they are is specific moments that make you a particularly great candidate for a job. And this applies to any job seeker, not just veterans. But what I want to know as a recruiter is what you in particular bring to the future opportunity. So these signs of a great resume. The first one
Unknown Speaker 8:38
is the exclamation point.
Unknown Speaker 8:39
Wow, look at what I did. Nobody else could say that. At what point you gained the most relevant experience and some numbers dollars and percent they helped to quantify exactly what makes you a great fit for the job. If you ever need to remember what the signs of a great resume are, is look down at your keyboard. They’re above the above the numbers one through five, that’s where the signs of a great resume are. These are the key to standing out and differentiating yourself on any resume, civilian military or otherwise, federal resume or any kind, you can use the signs of a great resume.
Unknown Speaker 9:15
So write a resume that speaks for itself.
Unknown Speaker 9:18
Awesome, very much like that. And, you know, obviously, this did come up through your being a recruiter at a fortune 500 actually fortune 100 if not fortune 10. company. And so talk about you know, some of the, you know, you mentioned this came out of almost, well, you said a frustration there. So, you know, I to, you know, even in in looking and trying to reach out to people to come on to the show, you know, I’m going through and looking even at LinkedIn profiles and I’m say to myself, holy crap, we really think that this is going to get the attention. You know, like, There’s no use of this. For some people. They don’t use the taglines. Well, so looking in a summary of people, it’s very hard. They don’t stand out. And so that that tagline in your LinkedIn profile should, should, you know, people really need to understand that LinkedIn should not be used as a literal translation of your resume. If you’re using LinkedIn like that, folks, you’re using it wrong. Because it’s really a marketing tool. Right? It’s so that first tagline should be your, you know, three to 10 word. Bam. This is what’s important. This is why I stand out. This is why you should click right here on me. Like your exclamation point. Right, it should be that that tag should be the wow factor. And there’s so many people that I’m going through and I’m like, okay, I kind of get, and I’m, you know, trying to show, obviously diversity and inclusion with my desk. And you know, but it’s like, oh my gosh, I’m digging and digging and digging. So I could imagine, as a recruiter, going through even just thinking on LinkedIn, there’s only what how does this person stand out? Right? How does this How does this person translate or communicate what they’re doing? So and then I will be honest, I’m going through all right, if you’ve got my little bit of attention, based on that little bit of info in that little block right there. Now I click through, and it’s amazing how many people do not have a summary.
Unknown Speaker 11:54
Right and and the same holds true on a resume. So you know, I’ll agree that that the point is to capture Someone’s I quickly and that’s definitely a parallel between LinkedIn and the resume. The way you catch someone’s eye quickly on LinkedIn is with that header. And it should be compelling. And a lot of people don’t tell you anything interesting or new up there. It’s just like, project manager. Okay. Well, you and everybody else. Exactly. Let me tell you a quick secret about the civilian workforce, and maybe jobs in general, when it comes to job titles, we just make things up. And when we don’t know what to call it, we call it project manager. Everyone in their brother, including me twice, has held the title of Project Manager, and I absolutely am not like a PMP or anything like that, where that is my professional craft. But nonetheless, the more descriptive, you can be in that LinkedIn headline to really catch someone’s eye and say, hey, there’s something unique here. To keep them reading is the same principle on your resume. So on a resume, one of the very first things that I encourage you to do is write like a summary of qualifications. I call it that in Not an executive summary or professional profile? Because I want it to summarize what you can do for me. What are you qualified to do? I look at it like the movie trailer of your resume. So if you were writing a film preview, right, like in a world where this is my experience, you know what, what you would say, to entice me to see the film is what you would put in a summary of qualifications on a resume. And that block of text on the resume is something you can tailor like you’ll tailor the rest of your resume to each job opportunity, your LinkedIn profile, you only get one LinkedIn profile. So it should be the overall trailer about what is it that you bring in a nutshell to any opportunity that you’re pursuing.
Unknown Speaker 13:41
But yeah, I agree with you that there’s a lot of parallels. And
Unknown Speaker 13:44
really the distinction between LinkedIn and resumes is the way that you use LinkedIn to contribute to the conversation to things going on in the industry, whatever industry you’re in, and also to make connections because really The best way to apply for a job is not to ideally you want to be networking far in advance of your needing a job. So you’re starting to build relationships, relationships first, then results and jobs follow.
Unknown Speaker 14:16
Absolutely, I could not agree more. And you know, you bring up a point of the, the pound symbol, the dollar symbol and the percent, you know, one of the most viewed articles on out bureau.com is should I be out on my resume and we’ll talk about that one moment. Because I definitely want to get to that with you. One of the others, I have a few, a few articles on it. And by the way, if you’re listening, you are all of you may post articles on the website just like you post articles funneling in, as well as out Bureau has a professional profile. as well, so that diversity and inclusion directors and recruiters can find you and be very targeted in their diversity and inclusion. Searching. In addition, you’re able to indicate your military status veterans veteran, which branch in Singapore, but but some of the things that I really kind of occasionally I get people that that think I’m a recruiter or think that I’m a career coach or something, and they’ll reach out to me and say, oh, could you review my resume? Or could you review my LinkedIn profile? Oh, yes. Like I have nothing else to do. You know? What number one you’re not paying me to do this because I don’t even know what to charge for that. But you know, every now and then if I you know, have a 15 minute kind of time slot out sometimes do that. And then I look through and I go, okay, where’s again, where’s that wow factor. There were the numbers where where, you know, you say you project manager, well, what did you achieve? What did you say? What did you improve and quantify that?
Unknown Speaker 16:10
Unknown Speaker 16:12
recruiters and companies want to see, you know, people would say, Oh, I manage this I manage projects efficiently. Yeah, well, what the heck does that mean? Right? I manage projects efficiently. What what what quantify efficient for me? One, what was the size of the project? Was it a $5,000? project, a $50,000. Project, a $500,000 project? How many people were on the team? What were you trying to accomplish? I mean, just just give some some pure exam, give some real examples, and give some quantifiable numbers. Met project deliverables in 20% under time with only utilizing AI Were 80% of the budget. So something that gives the recruiters that knowledge that Oh, yes, they are an efficient project manager, you know the word
Unknown Speaker 17:09
read my book, Dennis, that’s really well done.
Unknown Speaker 17:13
Thank you. Now I’ve got articles myself as well. And that’s why, whenever I saw what you’re doing, I’m like, Oh my gosh, this is this is so pertinent. And it’s things that I’ve talked about in the past. And again, I occasionally get asked and building my, my own network of people. Now when I have someone, especially with military experience, I can say, hey, you should talk to this fella right here.
Unknown Speaker 17:37
I think you make an important point. And, you know, but but the fact that we agree on these points of quantifying your experience is critical. And while you can ask 100 recruiters our opinions about resumes, you will get 150 opinions or more about resumes. What you will never hear recruiters say is the candidate made it too easy. To see why he’s a great fit for this job. That’s not gonna happen. And when you use the signs of a great resume, you’re making the recruiters job easier, effectively as a recruiter. My function is to become your sales agent. I need to pitch you to the boss and say, Hey, you know that person you need me to hire for you? I think Dennis has what you’re looking for. Look at how we quantified this experience and gave specific results. The biggest mistake you can make on a resume is you write a resume that reads like a job description. So think about l
Unknown Speaker 18:34
ke a soldier who j
Unknown Speaker 18:35
st Yeah, right. If a teacher writes, taught English classes, graded papers, tract grades, prepares students for the next level. Well, great, that’s what teachers do. But that’s the job description of every English teacher. And so if I’m hiring teachers, and every one of them just says that, how do I know who to hire I don’t. And that is the reality that recruiters face is there’s tons of resumes in our system. On our desk, it all look and sound pretty much the same. Because people make that same mistake, a resume that reads like a job description is the deadliest mistake you can make on a resume. And it’s especially difficult if that job descriptions about a military job, because some 97% of Americans have never served. So we just don’t understand as directly what that job description means and how it helps us. The very simple way to assess your current resume to see Am I making that mistake is you take your resume and your cover your name at the top, then you reread what you have written. If it could be anybody else’s resume. It’s not good enough, because I don’t want to know what a project manager does, or what an infantry soldier does, or what a Navy Captain does. What I want to know is what did you do and how does that relate to what I need you to do in this j
Unknown Speaker 19:55
b? Absolutely. And so what are you know, gearing your your your time doing th
Unknown Speaker 20:03
s. Or there may be a few examples that you could give with clients that you’ve had in the past that, you know, either some tips or just examples of how you like how you took military lingo and translated that into job candidate language. Su
Unknown Speaker 20:23
e, yeah. I get this question all the time from veterans, and frankly, from civilians in very technical careers who are changing the kind of work they’re going to do. So this advice applies in both instances. But when it comes to explaining a prior career that does not directly align, especially when that’s a military career that’s changing your job function. What I want you to do and you can do this with me live if you’re watching at home or listening, just close your eyes for a moment. And I want you to picture somewhere in your life, an 11 year old ch
Unknown Speaker 20:55
ld whose parents are not in the military. Can you picture that
Unknown Speaker 21:00
id That kid knows about as much about the army as most civilian adults. You cannot trust civilians to know what the heck you’re talking about unless a fifth grader would understand you. So you got to pass what I call the smart fifth grader test with every word you write on your resume. And there are just three simple questions on the smarter fifth grader test. The first one is, are you using simple language, language so clear and 11 year old would get it? And the simple answer to that in most military resumes I get it is no, because there’s a certain language to the military. And that of course includes lots of capitalization and jargon and acronyms that just do not mean things to civilians. As a general rule, if you’re hitting the caps lock, you’re losing the civilians understanding of what it is you’re talking about. You know, some exceptions apply. You know, if you’re using a term, the average news watching American would know FBI, USA those are fine Don’t bother trying to explain to most civilians, that seal is actually an acronym for Sierra Atlantic, just stick with seal. But otherwise, avoid the acronyms and even words that you might use every day in a military career that mean different stuff to us. So for instance, if you say deploy, and you mean get sent somewhere, I might think you mean how parachutes work they deploy. If you say joint, and you mean, interagency, I might think you mean arthritis or marijuana. Just keep it very simple. And the good news is, if an 11 year old would understand it, so would another veteran, they’ll just know Oh, are you actually talking about a drink team? Are you remember, they’ll know all of that, but write it to the lowest common denominator of understanding is about the 11 year old level? That’s the first question. The second question for the smart fifth grader is are you focused on good news only? Now, I recognize the business of fighting war is not always good news. I get it. But I don’t need to hear about knocking down doors and find the bad guys or anything like it. What I want to know is how to make the world a better place. And this goes back to what Dennis was saying a minute ago, where you mentioned how like the specific accomplishments that a project manager might have had, how you make the world a better place is a better way to approach the types of examples with the signs of a great resume that makes you a great fit. I want to know what you did specifically, that’s good news for your past employer, in this case, the military and for your future employer, how it relates. And the third and final question for the smart fifth grader is are you getting to the point quick
Unknown Speaker 23:39
y, because both an 11 year old and a recruiter hav
Unknown Speaker 23:42
a super short attention sp
Unknown Speaker 23:45
n? I’m told there’s a military term that actually works nicely he
Unknown Speaker 23:48
e, bluff bottom line up fro
Unknown Speaker 23:51
t, and it’s the way military leaders say you know, when you make your PowerPoint or something, make sure you make the point right away. So if general so and so loses focus or has to go Very gotten your point across. Well, the way I think about bluff as a civilian is, can you tell me a fairy tale backwards for every bullet that you write? they all lived happily ever after good news, because once upon a time, you some details if you made
Unknown Speaker 24:17
t. Yeah, God. And you know, that’s really good advice for everyone out there looking at their resume and LinkedIn profile because again, you know, yes, there’s aspects of your career and bullet points on your professional profile on LinkedIn and out there that you want to include. But that below that, that bluff analogy is, is really good. And that’s keeping it short, simple to the point and think of it as a as a marketing statement, every statement on your resume. You need to think of it with that marketing I how is going to Wow, the person viewing this How is it Going to make us stand o
Unknown Speaker 25:02
t. A lot of veterans say to me, Scott, I don’t like talking about myself. And you know, I think maybe that comes from service in the military is a selfless service, you know, you’re serving that greater mission. you’re called to serve for whatever reason that is, and to them, I say, and to everyone, I don’t want you to talk about yourself. The first filter I need you to put on your resume is that well, yes, your name is at the top. This resume is not about you. It’s about what you can do for me. Everything you write has to be filtered with that in mind first, and it means that there may be things in your career that were significant. You’re proud of them, they made a real difference in the world. Well, great, I’m glad you did them. But if they don’t relate to what you can do for me, you might not need to tell me about them. And that becomes a powerful first filter to use and the very simple way you use that filter on a resume, to read a statement or a line or a bullet. You’ve got to ask yourself so what What is this new company going to do with this information? And if you can’t answer the So what? And you know, you pretty darn well, you’ve lived with you your whole life. How am I supposed to answer the so what if I’m the new compa
Unknown Speaker 26:13
y? Gotcha, gotcha. So making sure that that everything on your resume is tailored towards that position, and especially the position and the company, the employer, because it may not be a company, right? Yes, it may be government, it may be a nonprofit and so forth are used that I’ll try to stick with employer. So you need to think about what that what your skill set and the wow factor that you can bring and how, how that translates for that employer and that particular role that you’re going aft
Unknown Speaker 26:51
r? Yeah, that goes back to the idea of tailoring your resume and tailoring your resume. You need to know if it’s about what you can do for Me You need to know what’s important to me. And the simple way to know that is I tell you, there are job postings. So you just when you’re applying to a job, you’ve seen a job online on LinkedIn or indeed Career Builder, any of those sites or USA jobs.gov. If you’re applying to work in federal government still, and the employer is giving you a literal wish list, this is what we need. And there are three parts to a job posting, usually there’s a description. So you know, do I want to do this all the time, and some minimum and preferred qualifications or basic and desired qualifications? Well, the description is a good place for you to assess what’s important, they may give you clues like about their culture, about their diversity and inclusion practices, and about their priorities for their business in the year ahead. And the minimum and preferred qualifications are the filters for what kinds of information you need to market to them, if you will, about your prior experience. I look at the qualifications list, like buying a car. The minimum qualified candidates are like Toyota’s, they’re fine. They’re just not special. Seemed like anybody could get a Toyota and it’s fine. It’s a good car very reliable. I think the number one selling car in America is a Toyota. But the preferred qualified candidates, the ones who are darn near perfect are like a Rolls Royce. Whoo fact that the perfect candidate, that’d be great. Well, you don’t have to be a Rolls Royce to get an interview or to land the job. You just got to come in somewhere around Lexus to be a compelling candidate. The more your Lexus sounds like my Rolls Royce wishlist, the better shape you’re
Unknown Speaker 28:35
n. Okay, gotcha. Gotcha. So, let’s talk a little bit about some of the other aspects of applying for a job I brought up the you know, should you be out on your resume? That is the second most viewed article on my website, outside of venture funding for entrepreneurs. And so there’s obviously lot and I, I’m pretty clear in my article about my position and I talked with several other people but being in, you know, in your role in your professional role at the company plus, writing your book, have you ever come across clients of yours or candidates are so for then, you know that had a really out resume or or not kind of found out, in fact, just kind of give us a little bit of perspective since the majority of our audience, you know, is focused on the LGB
Unknown Speaker 29:39
Q. Sure. So your resume should always be about what you can do for me and why you are qualified to do the job that you’re applying for. If a component of that is identifying as a part of or a contributor to the success of the LGBTQ community, then yes, it is relevant concept to cover in your resume. However, As we got to both sides of my mouth, you can give examples about how you have supported the LGBTQ community. And not all of those need to be about work. Your resume is not things that got a paycheck for, it’s things that make my experience valid. So if, for instance, you were going to work at an employer in their diversity and inclusion department, and you do an extensive amount of volunteering at the LGBTQ center in your community, maybe doing testing or counseling or some kind of, you know, groups that you h
Unknown Speaker 30:30
lp put togeth
Unknown Speaker 30:31
r, that is perhaps a relevant example, for a diversity and inclusion job because you’re saying, Look, I’ve reached out to this community. Now, how overtly you state Oh, and I’m a member of that community. Well, that then comes down to how much information is appropriate to disclose on a resume. And a few weeks ago, my my message may have been somewhat different. But very recently, as many are unsure attune to the Supreme Court has ruled that discrimination on the basis of sex Something covered under Title seven, the Civil Rights Act. Now, okay, we got all this by saying I’m not a lawyer, if you have questions about the law, go see a lawyer. However, for informational purposes only. Title seven is very broadly, we’ll just call the idea that you cannot discriminate employment practices on the basis of certain protected classes. And those include things like race, religion, sex, and that word sex has now been interpreted by the Supreme Court ruling to include sexual orientation and gender identity. The reason I’m mentioning this is because as a general rule, recruiters do not want to know about your status in a protected class, if it is not relevant, or at all, because we don’t want you to think we’re considering something prohibited in our analysis of your employment. So just like you wouldn’t say my religion is x. You would not say overtly, my sexual orientation is x because some recruiters will go, Well, no, no, no, no, I don’t want to hear that. Because they don’t want you to think that’s part of my analysis, Are there times where it’s appropriate to disclose that? Sure. Especially for instance, if you’re being asked about after the hire and the job offer is made, you’re being asked about a uniform to wear. And part of your transition to the different gender includes changing how you will present at work. That is an appropriate time to discuss your gender identity, and how you will present in that job. But it’s way after the resume way after the interview. It’s at the time of a job offer, when that is now a topic that’s important to cover. Because you should be your own authentic self at work, you should be comfortable. I’ll predicate all of that by saying, do your research well in advance to make sure you’re only applying at organizations where not only will they obey the law of which it is now the law of the land not to discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity, but where they embrace the LGBTQ community and actively demonstrate a participation in it and support of it. There’s one thing to say, yeah, we’re an equal opportunity employer on the website. It’s another thing to talk to people in that organization, and to do some research about what that organization is actually doing, which is part of what I like about what you’re doing. And our Bureau is to provide more details and supporting evidence, if you will, of a company’s LGBTQ inclusion practices and actual footpri
Unknown Speaker 33:26
t. Absolutely. So I really like how
Unknown Speaker 33:31
ou conveyed that there. You know, and, and, you know, just because an employer also, you know, is on the HRC, corporate Equality Index, they’re still discrimination. They’re still discrimination lawsuits and litigation cases or arbitration cases that go on. So, you know, unfortunately, we really can’t just take that as an example which only covers the fortune 1000. So if you’re going for a government job or working at a mid sized company or working at a university, that’s even, even though they’ve been doing that for over 16 years, they’ve never branched beyond at the fortune 1000. So that’s where to end. You know, the out firoz group was just featured on LinkedIn, a nice shout out for the LGBT community. Thank you LinkedIn for that. much appreciate it. But then even in the group, you know, has limitations on LinkedIn, it’s you can’t search unless you pay LinkedIn for a recruiter level or Sales Navigator level membership. You can even within the group search other members who say work at a particular employer. So you know, oh, I want to work at x company, or ex employer. And so I’m a member of the group and I want to go search for other members of the out euro group to go talk with those employers. LinkedIn does not have that feature. So it becomes very difficult. And I’ll say for hours and day in first starting the out bureau comm site that’s o UT, you are calm. Even searching companies that I knew were were very, very inclusive and so forth and had didn’t have a, you know, any legal issues going on to my knowledge, at least the year prior, even googling them trying to search for LGBT related content was difficult, because the vast majority of employers even though they might have a very active employee resource group for the LGBT employees, even though they might participate in pride in a New York, Atlanta, Orlando, Miami Li etc even though they might, you know, sponsor LGBT owned businesses, even though they might sponsor LGBT nonprofits it’s very difficult to find that information so I hear you and that it’s it’s like whoa do your research and try to understand that they’re a really you know, inclusive and embrace it employer but it is darn difficult to do th
Unknown Speaker 36:29
t. Yeah, I th
Unknown Speaker 36:31
nk so that is that is where that that was the impetus for out bureau comm is seeing those gaps and those difficulties. So number one, this is my little call to action for everyone out there is to join out bureau.com so that you can search for other members very easily. Out bureau does not have the limitations that LinkedIn has forced on you because they’re they’re trying to force you to pay the hundred dollars a month or more for the recruiter or the Sales Navigator. role, even though you’re just an employee, you’re just looking for other people in an organization. Okay? So the more of you that join out bureau.com Place your professional profile, you will be there for others who are seeking you. Additionally, you’re able to provide a rating review, anonymously, on your current and recent past employers. So I think that’s very important because even providing that, you know, my employer is fantastic. There’s one review and I’ll give a shout out as to it Intel. There’s one review on the website right now by a transgender person. She clearly indicates that in the review, and just gloats how what a wonderful employer that is. And then there’s others that don’t sign that that great. Now, over time that you know, let’s be, you know, honest, every organization is made up employees. So even a very larger organization of, say, 100,000 employees, as I like to think of the, the doubt, yes, we have the laws, and I’ll get to that in a moment. But you know, policies and so forth are really the intent of the company, the intent of the employer, because they don’t control every employee 24 724 seven of the day in the week in the year, right. And if we even just take sexual harassment, which I’ve used this example many times, but even raised, you know, just by taking sexual harassment, it’s been illegal, just like now it’s illegal to discriminate against LGBT people based on sexual orientation and gender identity. If we just take sexual harassment As Case in point well, that’s been illegal for for 40 years, but sexual harassment still happens. And in employers of say 50 employees or larger, every before you can come to work, you have to sign off that, you know, it’s it’s bad to do sexual harassment, you have annual training on sexual harassment to ensure it’s See ya. And but it still happens. And so, yes, this is fantastic that the Supreme Court has made this, you know, illegal to discriminate based on sexual orientation and gender identity. But don’t think for a second that it just automatically makes every employer a, you know, rainbow flag waving unicorn loving place, right. But yeah, it’s you know, yeah. And you even look at employers like, again, this is public knowledge. It’s, it’s out there, so I’m not trying to beat them up, but it’s just reality. Look at Goldman Sachs. So Goldman Sachs has been on The HRC corporate Equality Index is ranked 100% for numerous years, and for several years in a row in a row, including 2020 20 was named one of the top employers in the financial sector based on HRC corporate Equality Index, however, they just finished a What is it called going through a lawsuit and settled for a discrimination suit. And so again, I’m not trying to beat them up here, but it’s just reality in that, you know, you can’t just look at the that any Equality Index around the globe, they’re all modeled after HRC. So you just can’t look at that and say, Oh, I’m, I’m, you know, because they’re on that list, they’re automatically going to be a fantastic 100% amazing place to work and I can just walk in with just, you know, yeah, you want the space to
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
In this episode of OutBüro Voices featuring LGBTQ professionals, entrepreneurs, and community leaders from around the world, host Dennis Velco chats with Steve Yacovelli: Developing LGBT Leaders with The Gay Leadership Dude.
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As an out, LGBT entrepreneur business owner Steve Yacovelli has dealt with many facets of growing and sustaining a business. Focusing on what he is passionate about he drives education and growth for individuals and organizations in an authoritative yet approachable way. Leveraging his 25+ years of experience as a leadership, change management, and diversity and inclusion consultant to cultivating our collective leadership awesomeness. His book, “Pride Leadership,” is one of the first to focus on developing leadership talent specifically for the LGBTQ+ Community and its Allies. It’s time to channel those qualities into being a more effective and consciously inclusive leader within the workplace and beyond.
Steve on OutBüro https://www.outburo.com/profile/syacovelli/
About The Gay Leadership Dude
He realized that there was no focus on specifically developing LGBTQ+ Leaders within the corporate world beyond some a patchwork of effort and not necessarily a cohesive focus or movement.
So, “The Gay Leadership Dude” was born. It’s his way to give back to the LGBTQ+ Community: to start a movement to grow LGBTQ+ Leaders to be even more effective, in a consistent, thoughtful, and mindful manner. He is especially focused on those up-and-coming Leaders within the broader movement for equality and fairness for all LGBTQ+ people and well beyond.
Pride Leadership: Strategies for the LGBTQ+ Leader to be the King or Queen of their Jungle
Critically-acclaimed and award-winning book for LGBTQ+ Leaders and Allies to help expand their leadership skills to better explore what’s working and reflect on what could be improved upon. “Pride Leadership” provides the strategies and tools to build a network of leadership support. It’s the start of an “LGBTQ+ Leadership Movement” to cultivate and grow leadership competencies.
The L.I.O.N.S. Program – A Leaders Immersive Opportunity to Nurture Strength
A 6-month learning experience that leverages online learning tools along with face-to-face virtual classroom sessions and self-paced learning. The program takes Leaders on a deep- dive into 6 related areas of competency
✦ Having Authenticity
✦ Leadership Courage
✦ Leveraging Empathy
✦ Effective Communication
✦ Building Relationships
✦ Shaping Culture
Over the course of the 6-month program, participants have the opportunity to explore each topic in a way that deepens their understanding and application of the leadership skills, apply the skill, and hone its effectiveness in their workplace. www.PrideLeadership.com
We Help Humans Succeed
TopDog Learning Group provides guidance and solutions in leadership & organizational development, change management, diversity and inclusion consulting, and workplace learning strategies.
To connect with Steve find him on OutBüro here. https://outburo.com/profile/syacovelli/
Join me and Steve on OutBüro, the LGBTQ professional and entrepreneur online community network for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, allies and our employers who support LGBTQ welcoming workplace equality focused benefits, policies, and business practices. https://www.OutBuro.com
Would you like to be featured like this? Contact the host Dennis Velco. https://outburo.com/profile/dennisvelco/
The below was created through voice to text recognition. We will strive to edit for accuracy as time permits. It may not be perfect. It is being provided for the hearing impaired to still enjoy the interview.
Unknown Speaker 0:01
Hello, this is Dennis Velco with OutBüro that is your LGBT community online where you belong and your voice matters. Welcome to the OutBüro Voices series where we are interviewing and I guess when I say we that’s a royal sense, right? Because I’m an entrepreneur of one. So, huh, it’s me whenever I’m interviewing LGBT entrepreneurs, professionals and community leaders, and thank you so much for tuning in. We are you might be viewing this on the OutBüro website or on YouTube. If you are on YouTube, please take a moment right now and hit that subscribe button, as well as hit the bell that bell is going to ensure that when we are producing there I go again, when I we, geez, I can’t you know, it’s all about perception is reality when you’re in business, it’s grow, grow, grow. So I’ll continue Whenever we produce additional and new content, it’s going to ensure that it gets you alerted of it so that you come back because I’m trying to produce as much of these as possible to get the visibility out for our LGBT community, so that our young folks and everyone out there can have great mentors to look to when they’re considering their business. And one of those is Steven. Steven is the leadership dude. And welcome to the show. Thank you, Dennis. It’s great to be here. Awesome. Thank you so much for being here. And I get deep. I knew for a fact because we’ve chatted before that I didn’t have to do one of these for you because I knew Stephens already gonna have his little corner of his office all set up and branded, so wonderful. Thank you. So, Steven, tell us a little bit about yourself. And maybe just a little brief overview of your background.
Unknown Speaker 2:08
Sure. I’m accent doctor see doc LA, owner and principal top dog learning group, also known as the gay leadership dude. at top dog, we focus on learning and development, leadership, change management and diversity consulting. And that kind of leads to what I’ve been doing pretty much my whole career has been in something in the shape of leadership and diversity and inclusion. So whether that has been internal to the Walt Disney Company, I was an IBM er for a while. I was a professor for like a hot minute, as in the full time academia realm, but really started my own business about 12 years ago full time and that’s really the the space that I’ve been playing in ever since.
Unknown Speaker 2:46
Okay, well, awesome. I’ve been a little all over the board and you’re in Orlando, Florida. So there is the Disney reasoning. Correct. Huge employer. Central Florida. Yes.
Unknown Speaker 3:02
The largest private employer in Central Florida. And it might even be the state Actually, I would think so.
Unknown Speaker 3:11
Yeah. So did your leadership kind of
Unknown Speaker 3:18
did you do HR and leadership in Disney? Was that one of your functions there?
Unknown Speaker 3:24
Yeah, I actually it’s kind of funny story. I worked at Disney twice. So after undergrad I grew up in the Philadelphia area. I went to a small state school in Pennsylvania, and studied public relations and speech communications. And so my dream was to be a PR person at Disney. So after undergrad I packed up my little Ford Escort I think I had at the time and just drove right down. I 95 to Orlando without a job. And I got one I worked in the central reservations office, which were the kids at home. That’s pre internet. It’s actually pre windows. We were a DOS based kind of thing and I actually had a job Yeah, I remember I had a job on the 407 w Disney line, which was the main place to get any sort of information about your family fun time at Walt Disney World and everything. And these are true calls, we would get me and 499 other folks sitting in a call center. And people would call from the park because it was payphones pre pre cell phone. And they’d be like, Where’s the nearest bathroom? And you actually had a load database, you could say, oh, you’re at this, this phone, turn to your left and you’ll see a door and like we had to direct them that way because people are you kind of lose their mind without holiday. Or and I swear, this is a real story to a question we get the people will call up and say What time’s the three o’clock parade. And you know, and we no lie, and we had our we type in data and we get the official official script. And the official script was always 245. So one you did make the person feel kind of silly, and then second actually got them in line or in their spot earlier so that they could kind of do the park so I did that for like three months was a horrible experience for me. Just wasn’t a very good fit, but I ended up coming back to Disney several years later at a more professional capacity I was a leadership and organizational consultant for Disney Cruise Line so I worked short side in the in the Orlando office the celebration office but I would travel on the at the time the two ships quite often so it was a kind of a sweet gig. It’s a sweet gig I gotta
Unknown Speaker 5:21
say. Good and you know getting as you mentioned right out of college you know, one getting that job at Disney, I mean nowadays that’s it well, with COVID it’s really hard. But will for a long time one of my aunts worked in HR at nice, the Disney and you know, not an easy place to get on board. Yeah. And you know, so many people from the area you know, looking for, you know, the jobs they’re one little tidbit one little thing we have in common I too. worked at a call center for a while. It was 1991. And my ex of my 20s and I, we met in the military in Germany. He was still in, we knew each other from you know, going out in Frankfurt, and in Germany, and we were both in the military when we first met. And then I got out of the military and helped form the very first technology calling center for fifth quarter military, so it was where all the US military from from Frankfurt and South Germany would call in when their printers were broken. Whatever, but that was just three of us. That actually man that that call center, it was when we returned back to where he lived in Columbus, Ohio. And for those that don’t know, Columbus, Ohio is quite the fashion capital. So with Lane Bryant, Abercrombie, Fitch, Victoria’s Secret, all of that headquartered there, and he and I actually work to the call center at Victoria’s Secret. know at that time I was 22 or 23 years old, taking phone calls from ladies and men helping them place their Victoria’s Secret catalog orders and helping, you know, taking the talking them into the new bra that was
Unknown Speaker 7:37
Yeah, that was pretty interesting. So,
Unknown Speaker 7:40
you know, I lived in Columbus as well.
Unknown Speaker 7:42
Unknown Speaker 7:44
Yeah, I went to Ohio State from my master’s degree.
Unknown Speaker 7:47
Oh, wonderful. I went to I state as well.
Unknown Speaker 7:54
I wasn’t in this. I got to tell people. I wasn’t into the football.
Unknown Speaker 8:00
But but but you know it’s it is a boy columbus ohio and their their football I mean it is it is truly a see that yeah if you’ve never experienced that kind of just almost power that that the the football culture in columbus ohio has it is some
Unknown Speaker 8:24
even the gay guy even the gay guys have tailgating party
Unknown Speaker 8:29
parties we go to if we didn’t have tickets we go to the local gay bar and Union Station and you know watch the game there
Unknown Speaker 8:37
absolutely absolutely. So cool beans So tell us a little bit more about the the leadership dude I know you and I have talked about your your book a little bit but help our viewers and listeners get a good sense.
Unknown Speaker 8:57
Yeah, so I’m about Two years ago, I was at my first mg LCC conference, the National Gay Lesbian Chamber conference, fantastic group. And I was kind of sorting my business cards before a session and there was a woman next to me doing something very similar. And we just struck up a conversation and she’s like, what do you do? I’m like, oh, in consulting, blah, blah, blah. And I said, How about you? She’s like, well, I’m a publisher. I say, you know what, there’s a book in my head that needs to come out, you know, I’ve written you know, I published my dissertation and which I think my my mom is the one who bought that, but that’s fine. And then I did an ebook called overcoming poopy elearning, which was self published in my doctorates in instructional technology and distance education. And I had mixed mixed positive and negative vibes for doing this self publishing thing. It was it wasn’t a great experience for me. But I’m talking to Jen grace, publisher preppers price. And I’m like, you know what, let’s chat. And so flash forward. My book price leadership came out, which I happen to always keep on the desk. Um, and so it was it was a really great explain And I was going to write kind of a generic leadership book. And the more when I first started down the path in organizing some of my thoughts and, and I was doing a lot of advocacy work in the LGBTQ community, with our peeps, and I’m kind of starting to observe some of the leaders around doing, you know, different volunteer organizations and things. And then my inner Carrie Bradshaw kicked in, like, I couldn’t help but wonder, and I couldn’t help but wonder, you know, I’m watching these awesome queer leaders do their thing. And I’m wondering, is there something about our shared collective experience that does make us a little bit more reticent for the leadership competencies that I’ve seen really work out in in the general field as a leadership consultant, and that’s kind of what I write about in private leadership. And so I found what I thought were the top six you always have my swag, a little mousepad but these are the the top six competencies I talked about pride leadership, Authenticity, courage, empathy, communication, relationships, and then shaping culture. And that’s the the framework of the book. But it’s through the lens of being a member of our community.
Unknown Speaker 11:04
Okay. And so,
Unknown Speaker 11:10
you know, again, as we’ve talked in the past, but you know, for our listeners this, this is a, you also have an accompany workbook.
Unknown Speaker 11:20
I do Where’s it? It’s right here. You’re right. So so the idea behind the books and the fancy book workbook, which is also out there, but the whole goal of the book wasn’t the book. I mean, if there’s anyone here watching or listening, you know, authors aren’t typically unless you’re like Oprah caliber out there to make a gob of money. You’re there to kind of get your story out. And my story is really to help start an LGBTQ pollution movement and focus our collective energy in that arena. And so my endgame has always been a training experience. You know, as an educator, that’s kind of what I do as a company, but I really wanted to create that. So a couple steps back was the book. Then the workbook came And now we have an eight week online leadership program that’s really starting to take off. You know, oddly enough, it was in the midst pre global pandemic, but it’s always online. It was always modular approach. And so now we’re getting folks are like, hey, I want to use this time to develop myself. And so that’s where where the end game was, which I’m so excited for.
Unknown Speaker 12:19
Awesome. Yes. So I’m kind of just thinking, you know, out loud here is so, so looking at leadership that’s really from a very open perspective, correct? No, it’s so so this is could be for anyone. Someone in college looking to a to learn leadership skills, someone in their career, who’s looking to get to that next level in their career, or maybe even someone who’s, who’s a volunteer. Yeah. And looking to hone your leadership skills as it relates to perhaps serving in their local community.
Unknown Speaker 13:06
Exactly. One of the things I do in the very beginning of leadership is I define what is a leader. And to me a leader is anyone who has influenced within the workplace, that could be that entry level person who’s kind of influencing the people around you, that could be all the way up to the C suite. and everyone in between I, I’ve worked with clients who define leader as leader of people. And I think that’s kind of shenanigans, because you have that indirect influence over folks if you don’t have that direct. And that’s actually even a more tricky leadership position to be in, because you don’t have the formal authority. So you have to leverage different skills and tools in order to help folks move in the direction with which you’re trying to get them to move. And so I think it’s, I think it’s silly when I have I tried to dissuade some clients to say no, let’s let’s think about this a little bit more broadly. And just like you said, Dennis, it could be a whole bunch of folks really want to focus on being better within their leadership skills.
Unknown Speaker 13:57
Yeah, it’s, I find You know, when it you know, when you’re looking at leadership, when you’re looking at business, when you’re looking at your relationships, when you’re looking at almost every facet of your life, you’re always, always and you’re typically in a position of attempting to influence that might even just be Friday night and outside of the COVID era, trying to influence your significant other on where you’re going to go to eat that night. Yep, yep. Okay. So, and within, you know, and so there’s lots of different examples even within a friend, Friendship Circle. So, you know, a leadership skills are definitely not only for the work environment number one, and definitely not only for once you have achieve a quote unquote leadership title that now you have people report to you, it’s like, well, you definitely need the assistance then. But, but really, it’s to your point in self development and just saying, you know, as striving to be a better person, and that, again, could be in real in your own personal relationships. It could be in your work, and when and again, I’ll get back to, you know, community service, working with, you know, local nonprofits of any sort. So it’s, it’s very pertinent to, you know, all kind of a good portion of your life if you recognize it, and I think that’s the key point is being open to recognizing it because so many people kind of go through the motions of their days in there. weeks and not even realize that they are marketing themselves and they are positioning themselves effectively or poorly as a leader.
Unknown Speaker 16:12
Yeah, one of the things I talked about quite early on in the book is no, and this is part of the the lions program is the name of the eight week program, which stands for leaders immersive opportunity to nurture strengths, because, you know, former Disney, I had to have some cute, cute little acronym, you know, that goes with the branding lion. Right? But, but in the AV program, as well as in the workbook in the book, one of the very first things that we talked about is, is what’s called what I call drone perspective, which is having that self awareness, you kind of like you imagine, you get your drone, this drone zooms up. And it’s kind of looking at the situation that you’re in, in the moment. You know, in LA Times, this is referred to as like mindfulness, mindful meditation, that kind of stuff. But being able to get out of your own head is the concept. And that takes a lot of skill and have that self awareness to say, ooh, you know what, I maybe am Not super good at this XYZ competency or the situation and having that that thoughtfulness to do something about it. And that’s, that’s, to me one of the biggest leadership opportunities is to be humble enough to know where I’m really awesome but we’re not so awesome and do something about it to get more awesome in that respect.
Unknown Speaker 17:23
Absolutely. And when a and you know, in the entrepreneur space where that comes in is no no your strengths, know your weaknesses and as soon as possible as soon as income allows, hire other people to do the jobs that that you frickin suck at. Doing. Absolutely. But, but yeah, so in the
Unknown Speaker 17:55
so in the space, definitely
Unknown Speaker 17:59
taking Taking that moment and kind of realizing that, you know, sometimes we have, we’re forced into situations and or being a bootstrap startup where we have to do everything. And, you know, it’s something that I always strive to do personally is, you know, I, I have a vision for where I want to go. And you know, I’ve had technical issues I’ve had so many different things go on, just within out, you’re alone. But one of my, one of my traits and what I’m trying to bring to the table to the community is my own personal development. And that is every single day, I learned something. Excellent. And whether that’s listening to podcasts on entrepreneurial ism, I absolutely adore Jay Abraham. is an absolutely eloquent, masterful individual. If you don’t know that that person, folks out there, look him up just an amazing person, not LGBT.
Unknown Speaker 19:16
We still like some straight friends. I’m sorry. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 19:18
And you’re probably occasionally going to have to Google some words to use. I mean, I like to use some, you know, fun vocabulary, you know, here and there. But, Holy moly, occasionally, he just dropped some words. It’s like, even if you’re like, what?
Unknown Speaker 19:36
Unknown Speaker 19:38
Very, very neat. So, but it’s also like right now doing these, doing these, you know, that’s been on my radar. I’m a product manager. I used to be a software product manager. And so I I’m what’s called a scrum master.
Unknown Speaker 19:56
I just learned what that meant, like one of my participants in the lions program is a programmer and she was sharing a story about her Scrum Master. I’m like, why is that and so I just learned that last week.
Unknown Speaker 20:08
Okay, it’s a it could sound highs I’m a scrum and the scrum master. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 20:16
Well I for those that that aren’t aware of google it but
Unknown Speaker 20:23
you know to me it’s you manage to a lot of post it notes and journal I have a huge amount of documents and on my wall for set for quite a while had been you know, content, user content, community content and so forth. And you know, whether that has been doing interviews like this, but a technical issues and being overwhelmed and finally got over that so that employee ORS can sign up. So employees out there you may go to our bureau at o ut duro.com. Be an anonymous leader and reach your current or recent past employer but part of the the getting back to you know kind of doing this was all right you know I had some some things I had to get over it just like you know your hope everyone’s career right you whatever those hurdles are in your career and in your job and so forth but but it’s part of being a good leader is about being persistent and consistent and and striving for becoming better. And so you know, like right now doing these, you know, YouTube videos, it’s every day. I there are certain people now that I pay attention to and I’m seeing the results and now Now granted how does that relate is like When you it’s about self education, and about, you know, taking responsibility for yourself in educating yourself and then what you do with that. So kind of walk us through in that self education for your book and your workbook. Maybe some of the highlights of that. You brought up the cue card, which I love. Oh, there’s no
Unknown Speaker 22:25
it’s actually my it’s a mousepad. Like I’ve a sweatshop. Look. I’ve got mugs. Hey, so if
Unknown Speaker 22:32
you leave that with your customers or your clients,
Unknown Speaker 22:37
graduates, graduates of
Unknown Speaker 22:38
the program, graduates god, yes. So. So what kind of what kind of folks now? Have you seen or, you know, what have you seen people use? Use your tools, use your information, and kind of get out of it and take away from it and you know, has there been Any kind of success stories that you’re able to share? And sorry, because I asked up on the slides.
Unknown Speaker 23:06
Oh, that’s great. That’s great. So one of my participants, and she’s, she’s still in the program, but she actually was an early adopter of the concept. So she’s with a large pharmaceutical company, and she’s actually an ally, but she’s within, in the LGBT employee resource group, an ally in that, but really wanted to develop her own skills. She’s, I think, a project manager for the company. And so, you know, I’ll use my thing, you know, she’s, she’s thinking about what, what, out of these six competencies, she really wants to focus her energy first. So one of the one of the tools, of course, is is self analysis, like, you know, where, where am I at when it comes to these particular competencies or skills. And so for her, she said, You know what, I’m going to focus on the communication part. So that’s kind of the fourth module down there, little green green strip. And so when she said communication, and she’s like, specifically, it’s providing feedback. And so one of the things I talked about in the book, you know, there’s a simple model, there’s a lot of models out there for feedback. There’s one I’ve used in the leadership programs that I’ve taught, and it has pretty easy success. It’s called ECC. You know, you share with people the example the effect, and then either what you want to change or continue, which is where the C come in. So, you know, Dennis, when you lead our interdepartmental meeting the other day, there’s the example. You You missed one of the agenda items, and therefore, we now have to loop back with the other department and kind of get some stuff. So that’s the effect. So it next time, can you make sure that you get all the items on that or that agenda so that we kind of don’t have to do double work? That’s the change. Or hey, Dennis, when you lead the meeting the other day with with the whole interdepartmental. Folks, you did such a great job you got through the agenda real fast. We attendance left people ask some great questions. So that’s the effect so can keep up the good work. That was really great. So there’s the continue to be good behavior. simple model when I’ve taught for a while there’s other ones out there, and she’s like that one alone. really helped me relate to my team just to kind of organize the feedback and thoughts. And then I talked about the example of providing feedback, it should be balanced. You know, you don’t want to work with some organizations where someone comes up to you and says, Hey, I have feedback. And I was like, What is it, you know, because feedback is a bad word. And so feedback, feedback should be a neutral or a good word, if it’s being utilized in a balanced sort of way in your organizational culture, whether that be you or your clients or big group. So that’s a kind of one example. Another one that one of the participants. So in the in the program, you get three, one on one executive coaching sessions, kind of at the beginning, middle, and then two months after that you kind of leave the program, and during one of the conversations the other week, or for fairly early on, you know, we go through the authenticity chapter fairly early. And and the one of the activities in that is to look at your own personal value system. And some folks have done that in their careers, some have not. So there’s a quick activity in the workbook to actually Find out what are your personal top five values? And one of my participants said, You know, I never did that before, I never really thought about what are the things that are so important to me that I value. And then you put that lens through, what are you doing at work. So if you’re in a job that never touches your personal values, you’re gonna have a problem at some point. Or if all the work that you’re doing doesn’t feed those values in some way, shape, or form, that’s going to feel icky. And it’s you stop and have a conversation with yourself and kind of get in that drone and take a look around. And he said, you know, thank you for that, because it just made me put things a little bit more perspective on where I want to go both in my current job, but also outside of of my job and make sure that those values are being, you know, using Steve’s term fed. And that was another good example of some of the tips that that people are actually applying stuff that I’ve had, like, yeah, it’s working. So that’s kind of exciting to see.
Unknown Speaker 26:54
Oh, Barry Barry. And so um, so you say that Meeting originally about the book was, if I’m not mistaken about two years ago,
Unknown Speaker 27:08
correct? Yeah. Um, so this this, this August will have been two years. So, after that meeting I got about a month later, I started kind of formulating the book. And I knew I wanted it to come out pun intended. As a gay leadership book. I wanted it to come out June in pride month of 2019. But to make that deadline, I had to have a final man or a first draft manuscript to my publisher by like, New Year’s Day of 2019. And so I said, from basically Labor Day, until Christmas, just doing nothing but writing obviously trying to make a living with clients and things like that, but you’re really trying to kind of get through organizing my thoughts, you know, figuring it out, you know, initially I whittled it down to six, I had 29, or something like that competencies that I was trying to figure out where the white ones and then My thinking partner slash sister, Wes, come in who does similar work to me. And so that was kind of that that process and then you go through all the iterations, the editing. And that took us until, until the very end of April, to kind of get through all those drafts. And my book is 356 pages. So it’s a bit of a lot, much bigger than I expected, I kind of was targeting 200. So yay, for both Steve. But you get through that process. And of course, it’s the things like, you know, picking the the cover and writing the back and getting the testimonials inside and all that other stuff that you never really think about. You just say, I got to write, but no, there’s all the other stuff that goes along with it. And then, of course, the marketing piece of it. And so it was, it was a really fascinating experience. It was I will say, Dennis, that writing the book was easier than marketing the book. That’s the biggest challenge of and you know, just because you think I’m going to write it and then you put on Amazon and Yay, everyone’s gonna love it and you got to tell people it’s there and so I That’s always a continuous opportunity. And then I knew the audio book had to happen. So actually, I just lost the audiobook like two weeks ago. Yeah, so so that’s, that’s out there as well. And I put put the link under my name, you can actually get a free book. We’re doing a free plus shipping during this COVID time. So there’s a top dog click for slash free ship. And you’ll you’ll get to a website and you just have to pay for shipping and handling. So there’s that but the audio book was really, really weird into that experience. I don’t know if you’ve ever, ever thought about like, how does someone make an audiobook and I’d never thought about it, you know, just kind of grabbed him on on Audible, whatever. Right? But so I, I was working with another producer. So my publisher doesn’t do audiobooks, but she has a referral. So I went to this woman, and she’s like, Okay, the first question who’s reading it? I’m like, I don’t know who is reading my book. Well, that’s up to you. We talked through that and she’s like, you can do it. All you can do it all professional, you do hybrid. And then the more I thought about it, I’m like, Okay, I have a whole chapter on authenticity. So if I’m not going to be the one reading it that’s kind of not very authentic of me. It’s, I figured, okay, it’s gonna be me. Well, in the age of COVID-19, internet traffic is crazy high, of course, because everyone’s at home. Right? Well, I got on the very first call. So it was myself and this, this audio producer, and and basically, we log into this super secret software that he has, and we just do the recording there. Well, the internet traffic was so high that and audio files are very sensitive, I guess, to traffic and things they can drop. So so we kept dropping words. And we tried it a couple times. I’m sitting literally under my router. And he’s like, I don’t know what to tell you, Steve. You know, you might have to just do this on your own and I have some experience doing like radio voiceovers and stuff back in college, you know, W ix q news at my millersville University. And so I set up by computer and then we’re like, okay, where’s the quietest place in my house? Of course it’s it’s in our our walking closet in the bedroom. So I’m literally reading my gay leadership book in the closet during COVID-19 for 65 plus hours and that’s kind of the story of coming out of the closet again, just to kind of make my audiobook happen.
Unknown Speaker 31:18
Yeah, yeah, yes. Yeah, it’s it’s not it’s not as easy as it sounds. I’ve actually gone through professional voiceover training myself. Nice. And yeah, if you if you search me on SoundCloud, I’ve done a few commercials and some different things. And yes, I can go into kind of that voice.
Unknown Speaker 31:48
Unknown Speaker 31:50
Unknown Speaker 31:52
as I as I told family members, because I’ve had people that since I was very young, I’ve had people go Oh, my gosh, your voices, you know And I feel I use that now and I definitely use it when I’m on the phone. Yeah, because yes, when you are voice overing when you are reading a book like that, it’s very important to pay attention to the Annunciation. The pauses, your plural motives, which and your
Unknown Speaker 32:27
T’s, your keys and your
Unknown Speaker 32:30
Unknown Speaker 32:31
It’s, it’s very technical. And, you know, yeah, people don’t always think about that. And then yes, your, the quality of your sound is and crazily, you know, the closet and the end are folks out there and you know, the reason is is because the your blank walls, and so for sound bounces off of that, and so you need a lot of software. Or you need a treated space say that your, your, your, your,
Unknown Speaker 33:06
your good mic which I’m not using I’m using
Unknown Speaker 33:10
a good mic will pick up that and you’ll get reverb
Unknown Speaker 33:15
Unknown Speaker 33:16
very funny though. It was funny though, because when we’re
Unknown Speaker 33:21
in there and we’re doing the test for the with the audio guy, so you can say okay, yeah, you’re good to go. He’s like, there’s just something you know, because obviously there’s no clothes on the ceiling. So I took my dog’s dog bed and kind of looped it over my head and he’s like, that’s perfect. It’s just I have a picture of it. I just look ridiculous with the food or the all the clothes everywhere a dog bed over my head, my microphone and I’m like, yeah, and of course there’s no air conditioning in the closet. So and it’s Florida. It’s just like, oh my god.
Unknown Speaker 33:53
But it worked. It worked.
Unknown Speaker 33:54
You’re a hot mess in the CLI was a hot mess in the closet.
Unknown Speaker 34:00
You know, you really should put a photo of that up on your website
Unknown Speaker 34:04
or write a blog about it. I did.
Unknown Speaker 34:07
Yeah, I did do a social media post, but I probably need to revive that again. It’s
Unknown Speaker 34:12
Yeah. to, to funny. Funny. So, very neat, very neat. So just, you know, how are you so let’s get kind of on the business side of things. You know, you’re, well, thanks for coming on, did you This is partly marketing, your, your, your book and your, your coaching sessions. So how, as a business owner, you know, you did touch on that that’s, you know, as an author, as a coach, you’re, you are a business. And so talk about maybe for just a few moments, some of the opportunities, the challenges, opportunities and ways in which you have kind of overcome that getting the word out because you Every business, you know, is always is has that on their mind? How do they get the word out about their, their business? And so give us a little bit of insight about some of the opportunities and things that you’ve been doing?
Unknown Speaker 35:15
Yes. So COVID-19 has really hit a blow to so many of us entrepreneurs and small business owners. For me, one of the main revenue streams was stand up training at clients, well, that’s not happening anymore. And so in in, in March, we launched so we I’ve three big fortune 500 that we do all of their leadership training, and I say we because it’s actually not the Royal we actually have consultants who
Unknown Speaker 35:41
work for me as
Unknown Speaker 35:43
I do some of it, but I had them do most of that kind of stuff. So I can do more the business development and product development. And so all three clients came back and said, Nope, we’re not doing anything anymore. So I lost a massive six figures of revenue coming in. So it’s like rats. What We do now. And I have a fairly upbeat glass kind of full glass full half full kind of guy. And so it’s like, Okay, so what do we do next? And, you know, I knew the lions program was was just starting. So I’m like, okay, there’s that we can focus some energy there. And then, you know, a new deal. And the audiobook was another product. So I’m like, Okay, well, I’ll focus my energy there. But I’m lucky enough to have a an infrastructure to pivot and do virtual things. You know, we’re doing zoom. Right now, I’ve been using zoom for three years for online trainings from a distance learning thing from executive coaching session. So that wasn’t hard for me. A couple years ago, I created a webinar on how to do webinars for a client, and I dusted that off. And I’ve been doing that kind of for, for folks. And just really trying to to leverage the technology that I’m comfortable with and see how I can take that. So I’m actually seeing working with some folks because they’re not comfortable in this space, and this isn’t going to go away. So They’re like, Steve, can you help me like think about what’s behind me and the lighting and and how I use this medium? Like I would have done it in a face to face? Of course, that’s one things we do. So I’ve been seeing that and how am I getting the word out there. It’s social media. It’s growing my email list, which I’m not very good at, I’ll be the first to acknowledge in skills skill, the book came out, I never had to market I mean, top dog was always word of mouth, I get a couple clients, and they tell two friends and they tell two friends and you know, etc, etc. And that was great. But once I knew the book was coming out, now, I’m not going up to B, I’m going B to C. And so now I’m going right to the consumer and to do that I need to market and so that’s, you know, been the social media thing, growing my email list. And then really just just trying to partner with folks to get the word out for different things I have for the lines program. I have an affiliate marketing program that’s slowly kind of getting out there where you know, I give some money back to somebody who refers a new new participant. And then and then also doing things like this A lot of podcasts, I’ve been doing a lot of free webinars in the age of code, because you know, Intel, people get totally saturated. I have 25 years plus of content on my hard drive that I can dust off and kind of share. And some of that is things that are like I used to teach, or I do teach a class on being resilient in times of change. Well, this is a very appropriate time for that. So I dusted that off. And I’ve been doing that as a webinar and, and I actually have been selling them as virtual keynotes. for clients wanting to do those. I have one tomorrow for a group in London. And so they’re there, end of day, my beginning of and they are going through a lot of changes, like so many folks, I’m like, hey, let me talk walk you through the three strategies to help you be more resilient times of change, like perfect. So those types of things are pretty cool. I did a virtual keynote yesterday for another pharmaceutical company for their pride group, because they wanted the gay leadership dude to talk pride things because all their pride stuff went away from what it was. And they’re like, well, let’s do virtual stuff. And so that’s been kind of nice to still engage, especially with our community. is in during pride month but but while we’re all social distancing as well.
Unknown Speaker 39:06
Okay, well awesome. That sounds like you have turned it into pivoted and continuing to be active and busy so that’s awesome. Yeah, well cool well jeez it’s been great catching up with you and so much appreciate you taking time out of your sounds like very busy week, which is a good thing. And we’ll make sure that we have all the show notes and links to the leadership dude. Here on the show on the on the episode page, which again you all of you will find act out bureau.com that is O ut buro.com. You will click up on the top it says podcast might be changing that the episodes we’ll see but at some point because of the The videos now, but also, all of these shows get turned into podcasts. And you’re able to find out Bureau and outro Voices Podcast on Apple podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Google, and a total currently have 13 podcast apps and growing. So make sure that you subscribe to our bureau on whichever platform that you desire most. And coming up here on the screen in just a moment. Be sure to click the subscribe to be notified again of when new shows come up and hit that bell to ensure that you are notified. Thank you so much for tuning in. This is Dennis belko without euro and Steve the leadership, dude, hot dog consulting. Thank you so much. Thanks, Dennis. And thanks for all that you
In this episode of OutBüro Voices featuring LGBTQ professionals, entrepreneurs, and community leaders from around the world, host Dennis Velco chats with Veronica Kirin, an and award-winning serial LGBT entrepreneur, anthropologist, and author.
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Veronica is the creator of the Three Pillars of Business Scaling™ and is an Entrepreneur Coach certified by the National LGBT Chamber of Commerce. Her first book, Stories of Elders, documents the tech revolution through the stories of those that lived it. Her latest work, Stories of COVID™, is documenting the pandemic in real-time for a book for future generations.
Veronica on OutBüro. >> https://www.outburo.com/profile/veronicakirin/
Here is the Audacious Entrepreneur Academy, where entrepreneurs can find the meditations I mentioned: https://veronicakirin.com/academy
The Stories of Elders Podcast can be found here: https://storiesofelders.com/podcast-2
And my current work, Stories of COVID™: https://storiesofcovid.co
Veronica Kirin has 15+ years of experience as a leader and implementer. Her career started with two terms in the National Civilian Community Corps, with whom she deployed across the nation performing disaster relief and humanitarian aid. She has since founded nonprofits, startups, and small businesses. She is regularly engaged as a Coach to advise early- to mid-stage businesses to scale their reach. She not only specializes in building new businesses from the ground up but also restructuring internal business systems for growth-oriented operational efficiency. Veronica has commanded all facets of brand strategy, business operations, web management, B2C and B2B marketing, business scaling, and entrepreneurial financial literacy, to place her as one of the top, sought-after coaches for growth-stage businesses. She speaks at conferences and events worldwide to shift the mindset of business leaders and give them the tools they need to scale.
America’s Greatest Generation has witnessed the onset of an incredible evolution of technology and social progress. From mere entertainment to life-changing advances, technology has changed the way we live, work, and identify. Sadly, with each passing year, fewer of members of the Greatest Generation are still alive to share their wisdom as the final generation to grow up before the digital revolution.
Stories of Elders preserves the wisdom, thoughts, humor, knowledge, and advice of the people who make up one of America’s finest generations, including the Silent Generation. These fascinating people not only experienced rapid social and technological advancements but also devastation in their daily world. Major historical events like World War I, the Dust Bowl, the Great Depression, and World War II shaped their youth and molded their lives.
Author and cultural anthropologist Veronica Kirin traveled more than 11,000 miles across the United States in 2015 to interview the last living members of the Greatest Generation, each one born before 1945. Stories of Elders is the culmination of her years of work to capture these uniquely personal stories in the form of a book that will store their perspective for generations to come.
The Greatest Generation saw the routine use of airplanes, cars, microwave ovens, telephones, radios, and the internet come to fruition in their lifetimes. Many spent portions of their lives without electricity, using kerosene lamps for light. Their childhoods were simple, relying on outdoors games and imagination for their fun. How they went to school, pursued their careers, and raised their kids was radically different compared to today.
New generations, more than ever, look to the exciting future for guidance instead of the stories of our last living elders. By chronicling more than 8,000 years of life lived during the most transitional time in American history, Stories of Elders offers old-fashioned insight no other book can.
To connect with Veronica find her on OutBüro here. https://outburo.com/profile/veronicakirin/
Join me and Veronica on OutBüro, the LGBTQ professional and entrepreneur online community network for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, allies and our employers who support LGBTQ welcoming workplace equality focused benefits, policies, and business practices. https://www.OutBuro.com Would you like to be featured like this? Contact the host Dennis Velco. https://outburo.com/profile/dennisvelco/
Unknown Speaker 0:01
Hello, good afternoon. Good morning and good evening. This is Dennis Velco with OutBüro and you are tuning in to OutBüro voices, where we have interesting conversations with LGBT entrepreneurs, business leaders throughout all different kinds of sectors, community leaders and LGBT professionals and what I like to say an LGBTQ professional is everything from a dog walker to an astronaut. Wouldn’t that be an interesting conversation? And today we are joined with Veronica Kirin. She is an author, a podcaster, and an entrepreneur, and an entrepreneur coach. So she has lots to talk about. So we’re going to dive right in. Welcome to the show. Thank you so much for joining us today.
Unknown Speaker 0:54
Thanks for having me, Dennis.
Unknown Speaker 0:56
Oh, well, absolutely. kind of see Some of your postings on LinkedIn, and but you had some interesting content that you were sharing, which caught my attention. But first again, once I started actually listening to some of your podcasts, I realized, wow, you know you have a lot of things that you have done. Could you kind of get our audience a little bit up to speed about some of your background and some of the things that you’ve accomplished, really interested in that book? And then, and then we’ll kind of transition into what you’re doing now. Okay. Yeah, sounds
Unknown Speaker 1:38
good. So, my career actually started working with the National civilian community Corps, which is a branch of America that deploys across the United States for disaster relief and humanitarian aid. That’s where I cut my chops for leadership, came back, and founded my own nonprofit organization. And that was the beginning of my entrepreneurial journey in 2010. So this was far better. Before, you know the internet hadn’t quite grown up to the place that it is now, coaches weren’t really thinking. And so I was figuring all this out on my own. Soon after that, I was laid off from my day job. And so I started a tech company, which is the company that I ultimately scaled and sold in 2018. And that was a really interesting experience because I was a little bit of a baby queer at that point, I wasn’t so far out, but I was definitely out of my comfort zone being not just a woman in tech, which is already a minority, but then a queer woman in tech in a very conservative city. And so there is this whole conflict of imposter syndrome happening for me, not just I’m growing a business and figuring all this out for the first time. But also, I’m supposed to look a certain way and act a certain way according to these guys who are, you know, just wearing suits every day and I don’t understand, you know, do I belong in this room or not? So it was a whole journey of discovery. I had a couple of other small businesses in between. But ultimately the tech company, which is called Green cup digital still alive today still going strong, so run by a woman. I guess that’s the one that Yeah, really like, that’s me that’s my baby win right there. And so I sold it because I found that
Unknown Speaker 3:18
I really wanted to do more. As you said, I have a book out actually have a couple of books out and a couple more on the.
Unknown Speaker 3:25
But my first book stories of elders
Unknown Speaker 3:29
took a lot of time and energy. And I was finding that to drive 12,000 miles across America to interview strangers in the greatest generation. So, people that like, there are already age and language barriers. And to then put it all together and publish it was just too much to do alongside running a tech company. And so that’s why I chose to sell it. And I published that book six months later. And so since then, I’ve been
Unknown Speaker 3:56
so wait, hey, wait, wait, Paul. So so you sold a technology company to do to finish your book.
Unknown Speaker 4:06
That is a book and to coach others. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 4:09
boy now that is Spoken like a true entrepreneur, risk-taker, right? Oh, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 4:17
Things are going great at the tech company. I had it scale to 10 hours a week, I had a team of four, we were beyond six figures. It was really comfortable. But I, I’m not really one that gravitates towards comfort. I’m one that wants to constantly evolve and grow. And I have the book on the way and that that’s really what I wanted to be doing. that mattered a lot to me.
Unknown Speaker 4:43
And as I said, I had a lot of hard won
Unknown Speaker 4:45
lessons from that initial seven years of being in business and I wanted to share those lessons with others and help them grow so that they didn’t have the struggle that I have. So ultimately, that’s how I ended up being An entrepreneur coach, which is what I do today.
Unknown Speaker 5:03
Okay, awesome. I will definitely be diving into that. So. So if I, if I recall correctly to, you have that book finish, but you had a lot of additional stories that, you know, just couldn’t quite make, you know, the cover to cover the cut. So tell everyone what you’re doing with that now.
Unknown Speaker 5:29
Yeah, so the premise of the book was to document the paradigm shift brought about by the high tech revolution. And that’s why I was interviewing people who are so much older than me because they lived it and they saw from the first radio coming into their homes all the way to I have a smartphone now. So they could really encapsulate this experience and document it. But think about you know, 80 years of life, the stories that these people have to share not just about technology, but about the world. And about family and travel and just, it’s so difficult to even begin to, to put it all in one box. And so the book really is focused around technology. And then the other stories like virtual STL, coming home from the Eastern Front in Germany and seeing the Statue of Liberty for the first time in years after, you know, fighting a war and liberating concentration camp and that feeling of like, I’m home now and like being greeted by the Statue of Liberty, like I was crying when he’s telling that story is nothing to do with technology, but it has to be recorded and told. So just as you said, I started a podcast, it’s one of my earliest podcasts, to share some of the pieces that didn’t necessarily fit in the book. And also to give readers the opportunity to hear them tell the stories in their own voice because there are accents and there are inflections that you’re just not going to get from a written Text.
Unknown Speaker 7:00
Okay, so these are recordings that you had the actual people awesome so yeah,
Unknown Speaker 7:06
so some of them are rough because they wanted to be in a restaurant and you have to honor where somebody feels safe to do an interview like this. So it’s not like perfect podcast audio it’s I was in their home whereas in a restaurant or wherever, but yeah, that’s them in their own words.
Unknown Speaker 7:23
Oh, awesome. And, you know, I like I really like that that resonates with me as far as the the your focus was on it. Pardon, he was on technology, but you have all of these life stories and life events and then around that, and you know, at the end of the at the end of every day, you know, the technology that we utilize, you know, even this, it has to, it does whether it wants to or you want it to or not It has if it within The larger, larger construct and framework of our lives and bad technology is or unsuccessful. Technology is ones that do not because they tried to force themselves in an inopportune time or an opportunity or an inflexible way. And so those are the technologies that did not survive any link times. I think that’s very fascinating that Yeah, I got to see that and you’re able to portray that in your, in your, your podcast now. And what what what a wonderful way to give your readers you know, that that next level of interaction, next level of content, where they can go and experience that deeper and richer, you know, connection. So, yeah,
Unknown Speaker 8:50
yeah, because it’s so hard to convey, like, the level of soul-changing experience that I had spending so much time with these people. So if I could give that a, just a snippet of that back, and I was also quite proud to get just a few queer stories into the book again, that wasn’t the point of the book, but there was a grandfather who said, My grandson came out as gay and it changed me completely because I was not going to disown my own grandson, my own family. And I interviewed a woman who was a Playboy bunny way back in the day when playboy bunnies weren’t in magazines, they’re in restaurants doing the serving, and she had like to do all the like posture training and everything. And then she came out midlife and became an English professor. And she said, she said she moved to be a professor at the University and to become a lesbian, which is like my favorite phrasing. Um, so there’s, there’s these little that’s not the point of the book. And so I didn’t get a lot of it, but there are just these little pieces of our history in there as well.
Unknown Speaker 9:55
Oh, very, very cool. Very Yeah. And so You then did a small podcast for it, or at least a temporary podcast, it seemed like it was like from point A to point B. But it was a long point. It was like you were traveling across the country. Yeah. And kind of fitting in podcasting. When you could tell us just a small bit about that. And then we’ll transition.
Unknown Speaker 10:24
Yeah, well, so that was actually for the book tour for my book stories of elders. So I was, as you said, traveling from point A to point B instead of a circle this time because I wanted to terminate the travel in Los Angeles and then stay there. But there are also regions of the United States that I hadn’t been able to return to. So it was really amazing to have interviewed people four years ago, and then see them again and present them with their copies of the book and have them help sign so every book, signing But I have where, where there are people they interviewed, I asked them to sign the books with me because their stories are like, I put it together, but they’re the ones that are in the book. So I have everyone sign in the index next to their names, and I have five master copies of every one. So it’s just full of signatures. So that was really amazing. And so the podcast, as you said, was to kind of create a roadmap for others who are curious, like, how do you build a book tour? And what is it like to drive across the country alone, and you’re in the middle of moving and revisiting some memories from the original research tour because I drove to meet these people in the first place. And so yeah, it was, as you said, it was just a temporary kind of tidbit of life as an entrepreneur doing wild things
Unknown Speaker 11:53
Unknown Speaker 11:55
So, so let’s dive into your entrepreneur. neuro coaching. And you know, I kind of understand your why, which is important for every entrepreneur to understand and be able to communicate and yours was so that others wouldn’t have to go through some of the struggles that you did, can’t you? There must have been some impetus or you know, some sparks or some things that that, you know, hey, as an entrepreneur myself, this isn’t my first rodeo. And I’m a, I’m a bootstrap startup of one I do everything. And every day I move forward on some things. But then every now and then there’s like, you know, Oh, my gosh, I did this update to this over here and why is it affecting that over there? They have nothing to do with each other. Ah, you know, just technology and trying to fit, you know, 20 pieces together to work all as one right? That’s challenging you If it’s your full-time job right away, and yeah, there’s lots of different struggles, you know, I could talk about but you know, this, this isn’t about me, but I get dug about in each of the businesses that I have found, you know, kind of some of the sparks the reasonings and the challenges that I had, and ultimately what came to its closure. So we heard a little bit about your technology business. But, you know, outside of it just being more that you wanted to focus on the book, were there any significant challenges in that business that that really kind of made you go, you know, what, I had this huge challenge. I overcame it. And was there something like that, that said, you know, that that created that, that initial spark to be an entrepreneur coach?
Unknown Speaker 13:52
Yeah. Well, so there is part of it.
Unknown Speaker 13:56
There are two ways to start a business there’s to start a business out of
Unknown Speaker 14:00
panic and just to have a business. And there’s a certain business because you had a passion. I never actually had a passion for tech. I have a knack for tech. I’m very good at Tech. But my degrees in anthropology, that’s why I’m writing these books because I am an anthropologist, I’m all about people. So my knack was target marketing, understanding other cultures for my clients, and really serving my clients in a way that was rooted in the heart rather than here’s a bunch of languages that you don’t understand. And we’re going to build you a website or we’re going to market you online and you don’t, you know, here’s some lingo and you’re done.
Unknown Speaker 14:42
And so that’s why that company was so successful, but my
Unknown Speaker 14:46
passion has always been around people. And so it was looking back through my life and noticing that I was the one that people were coming to for help. And then even more recently, as I was having success with the tech company, I was having a lot of people come to me And ask for help with scaling and business systems. I fought so hard for that knowledge. I was the one who was scared, wondering why I was like the rich and the poor and the rich and the poor and the rich and the poor. Trying to figure out why I was working 70 hours a week, even though I had started a business for more freedom. And so there’s this like herding cats. I’m on the hamster wheel, I can’t seem to get out of it. And so I fought and fought and fought where’s the knowledge? Because I know this is not the case for everyone. What am I missing? I was missing scaling, and the the the pieces of the business that need to be in place in order to scale and so I basically crawled myself out of the chasm that I had created, right. I had done it to myself and being at the top of the mountain finally and having what I had originally envisioned, felt so good, and I knew that There were other businesses like me, business leaders that wanted more freedom. But there was this rhetoric around. If you’re not hustling hard every day, then you’re not an entrepreneur. When in fact, if you’re hustling hard every day, there’s probably something broken in your business. And that’s okay. Because you have a business blind spot. We’ll figure it out. But it’s a symptom, not a success. And
Unknown Speaker 16:25
so, absolutely, yeah, I like to say, define success on your terms. Yes. Not based on someone else. Because, you know, if you live in New York City, whenever I was a consultant there, my clients would travel an hour and a half to get into work. They would be in by about 830 to nine o’clock in the morning. They wouldn’t leave till about nine o’clock at night. Yeah, many of them would have small apartments, you know, Pete to tears in the city, and then they would only go home on the weekends in or because if not, it’d be another hour and a half commute back. They wouldn’t get home into their bed until the earliest 11 pm. And, you know, a lot of entrepreneurs Yeah, you do work the hours, right? You because you are passionate. And if no one else if you can’t yet afford to hire people to delegate, that’s one of my key little things that you know, sometimes I love to listen to podcasts myself, that’s one of the ways I found you in addition to the group. And you know, whenever people I hear podcast podcasters, you know, in the business sector who say, Oh, well you know, in order to do this in this you need to delegate. Well, let’s back up first, okay, first before you can delegate unless you have a business partner who is in it sweat equity. You need, you need funding, you know from either an investor or loans or you know some level of capital or you need to have had traction on you know, with clients to have the income to pay that person that I go to delegate me even if you’re doing you know offshore tell you to know remote assistance I forget the exact name teller virtual assistant, thank you, virtual assistant, to the Philippines for six to $7 an hour Okay, you still have to have that money, you know, or you’re living on credit card debt which is very dangerous. So so i think you know, getting the foundation down into your, into your systems and so forth is you know, first foremost the strategy but the Find what success is for you. You know, if you’re if you’re happy working 12 hours a day, then you know, Buddha bless go forth, right. And by you know, for those of us one of my I always like to round out the shows How do you balance your life because again for me the it is what how you define it and to if you’re not taking care of yourself if you’re not, you know, eating properly going, going out seeing friends going for bike rides, going to the beach and going hiking in the mountains taking your significant other you know, at least out on a significant date night every other week at minimum and I mean something special not just ordering in pizza and sitting in Netflix guys and gals you know making that time for your, your hosts out so that you can show up. Because if you don’t have if you’re not taking care of yourself and those in your immediate realm of influence and love, then you’re not going to have the energy or the emotional bank account with everyone around you. You because when the shit hits the fan And you really do need to work those couple of 16 hour days. You don’t want your significant other threatening to divorce because they’ve been nagging you for six months already, you know?
Unknown Speaker 20:12
Yeah. end of the rope situation. Yeah. And you as you know from our previous chats, I’m massive
Unknown Speaker 20:21
Crusader for self-care and work-life balance, partly from my own hardships. I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from doing disaster relief for the US government. I can’t allow my stress to spike that high a bar is literally everything falls apart. And so self-care is one of the cornerstones of my business and one of the cornerstones I work on with my clients. And the same with work-life balance. So I mean, I think we’re jumping the gun a little about what my lifestyle looks like. But if it’s 6 pm, I’m turning off the computer. I’m not scheduling anything later than that. It’s over. That’s the day I usually cut out a little earlier than that because I pay a lot of attention to my attention or to my energy and make sure that it’s really, really good because I have to be at my best for my clients. And so my mornings are very important to me and then it just cut off. It’s done the works done no more.
Unknown Speaker 21:20
And yeah, that’s, that’s very, very, very important.
Unknown Speaker 21:23
Gotcha. So so what are some of the either biggest challenges you’re seeing with your, with your clients or just that you see, in general, that, you know, the lid, kind of take it in a phase depending on your, your client base, as well. But, you know, there’s definitely different phases to just launching a business and growing a business. And, you know, pardon me, we you know, some of the podcasts I hear some, some really big players. And so, you know, they’re talking about going, you know, scaling from the 1 million to the 5 million to the 10 million to the 50 to 100 million. But, you know, for, you know, when you look at the vast majority of businesses in, you know, just here in the United States, and this show, and the website is global, but, you know, I can only speak to what I know and stats that I know, so sorry, every everyone in the UK and Canada and Pakistan and Singapore and so forth, you’ll have to put it for you. But, you know, here in the US, you know, the vast majority of businesses are small businesses, probably hovering in you know, $200,000 a year range, you know, right at coffee shops and so forth. But so with the businesses that you focused on, you know, what are you seeing kind of the those For the starting up. And then, you know, and that scaling, you know, what are some of the issues that you’re seeing and maybe some key tips that you might be able to provide?
Unknown Speaker 23:12
Yeah. So there’s actually one issue that arises for every single entrepreneur across the board no matter what stage you are in, and no matter how many times you’ve done it before, and that’s imposter syndrome, especially for our community. But just in general, it doesn’t matter how many times you’ve done it, I have clients who are on their third business, and they still come to me because they’re looking for how to how to start or how to scale they’ve done it before, but because it suddenly looks different, they now aren’t sure that they have the skill sets to make it happen. And the same with scaling. So you have you’ve built the business, you’re in your third round of funding, you’re getting into new rooms, though, with the new levels of people who have bigger pockets, all of a sudden imposter syndrome kicks in, not because you aren’t successful already. But because now you’re in a room that you’ve never been in before. And your fear flight or fight mechanism starts to go off and say, I’m not supposed to be here.
Unknown Speaker 24:14
Ray Ray. Oh, I think we kind of got through the, through the story. But just in case I know what imposter syndrome is. But just in case, some of our viewers and listeners are like, whoa, wait, what’s that? I’m no, I’m no imposter. Could you give just a brief explanation in layman’s terms?
Unknown Speaker 24:34
Yeah, it’s the feeling that somehow you don’t belong in the room, or that you can’t do the thing that you’ve been asked to do. So a great example for me is that I won a really big contract at my tech company, and it was something that I had never done before. They asked me to build a type of website that was much more complex than I’d ever done before. And I said yes, because a lot of Logically I know, okay, I know how to research. I know where my resources are, I can figure it out. But the imposter syndrome starts rearing its head and saying, What if I fail? I can’t do this. Why did I take this contract on? What am I going to do? Because they’re going to eat my business for lunch. And then you start to have that cascade effect. And if it’s let’s,
Unknown Speaker 25:22
if it’s gone unchecked, imposter syndrome can turn into self-sabotage. And then that’s where we see entrepreneurs truly holding themselves back from success.
Unknown Speaker 25:31
Gotcha. A good way to explain it. They’re very good way and, you know, sometimes too, it’s, it’s, anytime you’re doing something a little bit new, a little bit, you know, maybe based on the foundation, like your example of, you know, you’ve had that experience and it’s based on something that you’ve done, but it’s just that little itty bitty stretch. That you know, you think to Do but it’s that little itty bitty stretch. And, you know, sometimes even what I found in, in trading with people is, you know, sometimes people just really have almost an affliction of imposter syndrome. And, you know, some of those, you know, a career coach could help. But you know, sometimes I’ll just also say, you know, things that are possibly even happened. If you have if you’re constantly having that doubt, I’m not good enough. I’m not worth one. There are great meditations that you can do. Look upon those also, perhaps even thinking about seeing a therapist help you get to the root cause of those internal feelings of not feeling adequate. You know, for an example, I was, I think, three I’ll say one of my exes grew up in an alcoholic, abusive parent home, verbally abusive, and constantly told he and his sister that they would never amount to anything and you know, you’re worthless, you won’t amount to anything that’s and then go off and beat the mother literally in front of them. And that left a very long-lasting impression to where he has has a very difficult time to change and believing in himself. And I think that’s a very important thing to, you know, to get to the root of, you know, especially if you are looking to be an entrepreneur is it’s okay to go out and ask for help. What have you and know that a life coach or business coach is not a therapist. They’re not licensed typically therapists although they might have some tips and suggestions on ways in which to deal with those underlying issues. But what we’re talking about is the imposter syndrome is when, you know, it’s not because of that kind of underlying, you know, issues come away from the best words you’re on the fly. But it’s really about as you stated, it’s like I’m stretching myself. And it’s a, it’s a uncomfort zone. And that fear and flight as you pointed, it kind of comes in and makes you feel uncomfortable. And, and it could be stretching yourself and things. You’ve done a little bit of pepper in the past, or it could be doing things that are completely new. Like out Bureau, there’s never been a website that allowed, that has allowed employees to rate their employers in the glassdoor.com like fashion. And there’s never been an employer branding platform focusing on LGBT and So, every day, I just have to say, for me my imposter syndrome, the way I deal with it is, yo, bitch, no one else has done it. So, therefore, I am getting over it. It’s here, let’s move forward. I mean, it’s just a, you got to just feel the fear and do it anyway. And there’s one little thing for those of you that are feeling a little bit of imposter syndrome I’ve shared on another show with Larry, who is a dream coach, get to your next dream. And Sergeant Harry Tucker in the military, he told me to at the age of 18, was one of the most fundamental, amazing things anyone has ever said to me, and he said, never asked me permission for anything. Because if you do, the answer will always be no. Tell me what you are going to do. And I will tell you if I have a problem with it, and what a great way to live. You know You just take charge, go for it, feel the fear, and do it anyway because you know what the next person that that company is interviewing to possibly do that project that you’re bidding on, won’t have that level of confidence.
Unknown Speaker 30:16
That’s true. And so I want to make sure that we say that imposter syndrome is in fact normal. And it’s going to happen throughout your life because it’s a part of your fear flight or fight mechanism. So this is going to keep happening. And it’s okay that it keeps happening, to know your triggers, and to work on them so that you shore them up, so it’s less likely to happen, but you can recognize it when it does. And I also offer several meditations that you can find on my website in order to work through imposter syndrome. So I’m happy to share those as well. And yeah, it’s not something that you have to fight against. It’s something that you can learn from And then grow with.
Unknown Speaker 31:01
Absolutely. And there’s anyone who is a parent. I’m an adoptive parent, I have an 1110 and a half year old. And when you get real when a parent gets real with you, even your own parents, if they get real with you, they’re going to tell you, they don’t have a clue what they’re doing. They’re making it up as they go. And many, many parents feel imposter syndrome. They although those words aren’t what are used, necessarily, and I’ll see
Unknown Speaker 31:35
Unknown Speaker 31:36
but but it’s the exact same thing. Yep.
Unknown Speaker 31:39
Exactly. Oh, just know that, that it’s not just in business. It’s in life in general. And you know, you could even feel imposter syndrome in relationships, just your personal relationship, like, you know, wow, he’s, he’s interested in me, okay, you know, or you know, whatever that might be but you know, you It can be throughout, in many perilous covery
Unknown Speaker 32:03
the fear of being discovered as an imposter, even though you are who you are.
Unknown Speaker 32:09
Right, right. And so what a great way What a great thing to attempt to understand. And, and, and focus on conduct, I mean, controlling to the best of your ability understanding. So it doesn’t affect you negatively because it affects so much of your life not just being an entrepreneur. Right. So definitely, we’ll have links to your website and those great meditations that you offered there. And so what is your typical timeframe or is there a typical timeframe or typical process that you do with your entrepreneurial clients?
Unknown Speaker 32:51
Yeah, so I typically work with clients for six months, although some of them have been with me for over a year and some of them will create Rate something a little bit more custom, because what they need is a little boost into the next level. And that’s it. But typically when you’re talking about scaling, and not just the nuts and bolts of scaling in the business, the consulting part, but also the entrepreneurial life coaching, as they’re up-leveling, and so they’re probably experiencing some sort of limiting belief and imposter syndrome. So that takes time and takes work. And so I found that the sweet spot is six months in order to get all the things in place in order for that scaling process to happen, and also develop the personal skills and abilities in order to make it happen with an entrepreneur as well. But from there, it’s quite custom because every entrepreneur is different. Some entrepreneurs are just starting their business. And so I’m working with them to start scaled, while others are in the process of buying their first warehouse. And so they’re scaling to a point where they have employees and they’re taking it to the next level on a national wholesale level. So everyone’s kind of in a different place. I have my trademark three pillars of business scaling and that’s what I use with my clients as the guidepost. But what happens within that is all very custom to the client.
Unknown Speaker 34:15
Okay, well wonderful, wonderful. Well if you do you Is it all individual? The guy do you have like group discussions or you know, like a mastermind learning session? Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 34:33
I do I have a mastermind is called the disruptive mastermind. And we get together on Mondays it’s actually a free mastermind I asked you know, if you if you’re gonna stick around and come quite often, there’s a link to buy me a coffee because I am offering it’s kind of just in support of my entrepreneurial community on Facebook. So if you want to join us were in the disruptive entrepreneur society on Facebook and We’d have a weekly Monday mastermind where you can come in and grab a hot seat and get coached by myself and some of your colleagues.
Unknown Speaker 35:08
Wonderful. Is that a like a live video? That’s on
Unknown Speaker 35:12
zoom? Okay, yeah. Yep see zoom and then link into that to do your live session.
Unknown Speaker 35:19
Yeah, so yeah, the group is on Facebook and then the event is in zoom. Oh, gotcha.
Unknown Speaker 35:24
Okay, cool, cool. Well, any of that that you’d like to ensure that gets in the show notes over there’s links to
Unknown Speaker 35:33
make definitely I think anybody and up euro would be completely welcome and bring something probably really magnificent to the group and we’re so honored and help ready to help you get to your next level.
Unknown Speaker 35:45
Awesome. Awesome. Well as to where there is just for your yourself and others, there are groups on out here calm Are you are calm. groups on OutBuro can be over When and where they are searchable by the search engines indexable by the search engines, they can also be private so that people can see that they are available. But they can’t see the content plan except being a member. But also just in case you’d like to ever utilize or would like to join or maybe start an offshoot. We also have private secret groups, which only members of the group even though it exists. Now, of course, on the admin sign, admin side, I can see that it’s there. But you know, publicly, people can see that it’s there. As well as I’ve been mentioning, in the session that is often very perfect for you is on every profile, you’re able to indicate whether you are open to being a mentor to others, would you be very pertinent for yourself, and you could say you’re open to being a mentor for you. For another and you’re and you’re a coach so that they understand it, it’s not it’s a paid relationship there some, some are not paid. And people can also indicate whether they would like a mentor. So for everyone out there if you’re not quite sure you know about it, go ahead and indicate on your profile that you would like to have a mentor and indicate the areas because we’ve already have spoken with Matthew, who is a career coach and helps you with your resume. We’ve talked with Timothy of Timothy’s Stahl’s, nutrition who is a holistic health coach and helps you with your nutrition and diet, especially those with compromised immune systems. We have talked with Larry who is the first gay per out gay person to sail around the world and he helps you transition to your next big idea of its retirement not focusing on the money but your next big move. And now we have you who focuses on the entrepreneurs and growing and staging. And as I as I’ve shared, I’ve really have focused on having coaches here my first sessions of launching out euro voices because I personally have had a year where I was privileged and had, I was working at Mirage resorts in Las Vegas. And I was helping to start a whole new portion of their IT department and they paid for life for a business life coach to come in for a whole year and work with all management from like my level up and it had a very pronounced
Unknown Speaker 38:58
difference in my career.
Unknown Speaker 39:01
In that coaching that I had with him, his name was Joseph. Within just three sessions, he was like, why are you here? I get why you’re here, but why are you here? You know, you need to be doing it. You’re doing amazing things you should be out doing this as a consultant, being a director in a consulting business, doing your own business, for goodness sakes, you know, you could be earning 678 10 times the amount of money that you are here. And sure enough, within a year, you know, things happen, the universe happens for a reason. And I got that all the systems and processes in place to a point where and I had staff to where they could literally lay me off when times got tough, because all my staff knew exactly what to do the processes and the systems were in place, and they could go a while without the department head. Well, that landed me or that right as that was happening. And the conversations that I had with Joseph gave me the courage to put my resume out. And I was picked up as a division director for a consulting firm. So I went from being we’ll just say, I doubled my income overnight. And then I went from that job within two years to launch my own business that within three years was running $12 million dollars a year in revenue. So but it all started really with that life coach, because outside of Harry Tucker, who I mentioned earlier, you know, don’t ever Don’t ask me permission for anything guy. This was the first this is the kind of the first person as a life coach who really helped me see my I own my worth in the sense of I’m not worthy, but my worth and in what I was doing professionally So, you know, and helping me see that clearly. And so that’s why I think it is so important. You know if you have the opportunity to reach out to life, business coach, health coach, career coach, someone that can look at your life and your situation and your business objective objectively. And you know, because as an entrepreneur, you’re taking your example as an entrepreneur, we get so weeded down, and in that my new shot of the day and the year so passionate about what you’re doing, and it’s your baby and no one wants to hear that their baby is ugly, right? You want to this is this is my business. This is my leaving alone allowed. And you know, but having someone like yourself, come in and say you know, you Well, in order to get where you want where you say you really want to be, here’s why to work and helping them along the way.
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During his six years circumnavigating the globe after departing corporate shores, Larry accumulated priceless and hard-won souvenirs — new insights on how to master your fears and limitations, persevere through the inevitable storms on the way to success, and live out your childhood dreams against all odds. Larry has the distinction of being the first out LGBT person to sail around the world flying a rainbow flag the entire way.
Larry’s dynamic recounting of his incredible experiences and the lessons he’s drawn from them shine a navigational beacon of inspiration for anyone who’s ever aspired to achieve great things in business or in life.
Larry on OutBüro >> https://www.outburo.com/profile/larryjacobson/
“Larry’s satisfaction comes from inspiring you to achieve your goals and make your grandest dreams and visions come true. Through his coaching, speaking, workshops, publications, and video programs, Larry has motivated people worldwide.
How His Dream of Sailing Around the World Became a Six-Year Odyssey of Adventure, Fear, Discovery, and Love
With his first mate and crew, amateur sailor Larry Jacobson embarked on a lifelong goal to circumnavigate the globe. The namesake boy behind the gate is a passionate romantic who, since childhood, yearned to discover what’s out there….
How do some people overcome fears and insecurities to manifest their dreams? What are the characteristics that allow them to completely transform their lives from one of stability to one of uncertainty and adventure? Don’t we all entertain ideas of reinventing ourselves, of having a chance to do it differently and by our own rules?
Willing to risk all, Jacobson spent six years sailing into the unknown where the unrelenting oceans served as a teacher of seamanship, personal strength, and perseverance.
In The Boy Behind the Gate, the author reveals those crucial steps that will motivate you to make your dreams come true. We are each given one great opportunity at life. What are you going to do with yours?
Sail into Retirement (or your passion at any point)
Not quite ready for personalized one-on-one coaching but want to still gain great advice with actionable exercises to create your plan? Sail into Retirement is then for you. The nine Course Modules contain 18 Interactive Videos, 21 Lessons, and Guided Coaching Worksheets in each lesson, that allow you to create your life-style plan on your own, at your own pace. The course is very affordable and provides so much to help you be ready for your next adventure in life.
The value of Sail Into Retirement is not only the information, but also the system Jacobson uses in the online and personal coaching sessions. The lessons build on one another, in a logical order, which ensures you to get the best results.
From his graduate work in education at the University of California Berkeley, Jacobson understands sequencing of learning, and building a platform of knowledge step by step. He has developed Sail Into Retirement with your success in mind. You will end the course with a plan in hand.
How do you learn to be an entrepreneur?
You can either learn it the hard way — the school of hard knocks — or you can learn it from someone who’s already been there. What’s your time worth? Why not leverage your time by using Larry Jacobson’s 20 years of experience?
Are you prepared to deal with the fears, risks, decision-making, changes, and loneliness of being an entrepreneur? Many of today’s classes, books, and audio programs fail to address these very real challenges.
This powerful course will help you thrive as an entrepreneur as the no nonsense instruction comes from 20 years of real world experience.
You’ll learn how to deal with the entrepreneurial roller coaster ride that can be tough and lonely at times. Larry Jacobson knows what you’re going through.
- Do you consider yourself an entrepreneur?
- Are you managing a one-person venture from home?
- Are you new to a leadership position?
- Do you have an online retail, coaching, or other service business? Or perhaps you own a brick and mortar store with employees?
- Are you losing sleep because of your business life?
- Do you worry about your business so much that it’s not as fun as you imagined?
- Do you struggle with pending decisions?
- Are you an employee working for someone else and want to move up the ladder?
- Do you feel alone in your pursuit, wishing you had an advisor who understands the challenges you’re facing?
If you answered YES to any of these questions, read on….
After taking this course, you will:
• Increase your self-confidence as a leader of yourself and others.
• Turn your dreams into achievable, measurable goals.
• Reduce your stress level.
• Make your time more effective.
• Make decisions faster and easier.
• Never fear your fears again.
• Truly ENJOY being an entrepreneur!Who this course is for:
- Most helpful for entrepreneurs and solopreneurs who wear many hats in their day to day work life.
What you’ll learn – Navigate the entrepreneurial roller coaster. Students will learn how to turn dreams into goals, how to analyze risks, how to make big decisions on their own, how to deal with change, how to use fear to their advantage, how to persevere, live with passion, lead others, and commit to success. Students will learn proven strategies for goal attainment in any business role.
- No pre-requisities required. Just a desire to succeed in your business and learn from someone who has succeeded as an entrepreneur.
Author and creator of the cutting edge award-winning program, SAIL INTO RETIREMENT. Through an online interactive video classroom or VIP Private Retirement Coaching, Larry helps those at the top of their game ease out of their business and professional career to find their passion, combine it with their skills, expertise, and experience to create their next big step in life.
What are you going to do with your time in retirement? As a businessperson who has been going fast your whole life, we’ll make sure you don’t slam on the brakes and have nothing to do. After nine weeks of online classes or private coaching, you’ll have your Plan of Action for your next big step as you SAIL INTO RETIREMENT.
You’re used to doing what you do—whether it’s being a CEO, General in the army, nurse, or salesperson. Because you’ve done it for so long, and are good at what you do, it’s hard to imagine doing anything else, so you keep on doing the same thing. You say you love your work, but at this point in your life, you don’t know what else you could love doing after work ends. Are you concerned that a life of meaning might slip by? Is a life of true satisfaction slipping through your fingers right now? When will you bear the fruits of all of your hard work? Every day at work, you felt valued, needed, respected, and you contributed your knowledge. When that steady flow of interaction upon which you thrive dries up, how do you expect to transition to tending your roses without difficulty? Most people have difficulty with the transition and many fall into depression. It doesn’t have to be that way. Retirement doesn’t have to mean the end, but rather the beginning of renewal. Will you retire or renew? Financial vs. Non-Financial: Most people have a financial plan for retirement. Most do not have a non-financial plan. Maybe you have enough money to retire or perhaps you still need additional income. Either way, you’re still faced with the question of: How will you spend your days? Without a course to follow, it’s easy to drift aimlessly. Do you have a plan?
To connect with Larry find him on OutBüro here. https://outburo.com/profile/larryjacobson/
Join me and Larry on OutBüro, the LGBTQ professional and entrepreneur online community network for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, allies and our employers who support LGBTQ welcoming workplace equality focused benefits, policies, and business practices. https://www.OutBuro.com
Would you like to be featured like this? Contact the host Dennis Velco. https://outburo.com/profile/dennisvelco/
Unknown Speaker 0:02
Hi there, I’m Dennis Velco. With OutBüro voices that is OUTBURO.com. We are very happy today to have someone that I have had several conversations and have had the pleasure of meeting in person. Larry Jacobson. Welcome, Larry to the show.
Unknown Speaker 0:22
Great to be here. Thank you, Dennis.
Unknown Speaker 0:24
Awesome, so much. Why so much appreciate you taking the time out of your weekend, especially to chat with us today. For those of you who don’t know, and I’ll be sure to of course, let Larry tell his story. But Larry’s a very interesting guy. He is the first out gay person, LGBT person to sail around the entire world. Wow, that is going to be an interesting story. But more not not only was that an accomplishment, but the the the lessons Learn the life lessons that he had taken away from that, you know, it’s one thing to accomplish a large task, but then it’s another than to take that task, and then transform it into even more for yourself and more for other people. So we’re going to get into how Larry has not only sailed around the world, but now how he is helping people achieve their dreams, both in business and in retirement. So Larry, thank you so much, again, for joining us today, if you could again, but, you know, for especially those folks who maybe have not heard of you before. Could you give us a little bit of background and context?
Unknown Speaker 1:41
Sure. Well, your introduction was perfect. I should just quit right now. Actually,
Unknown Speaker 1:47
that was really brief. You’ve got a very deep and interesting story.
Unknown Speaker 1:51
Yeah, well, I don’t I don’t think we want to go back as far as we really want to is which is age 13. Except for one element, and that is when I was 13 years old, I taught myself to sail. And three years later, I decided that I was going to sail around the world. I was 16 years old. Wow. Yeah. So I had I kept that dream alive for 3033 30 years. And when I was 46, is when I finally sailed out the Golden Gate headed around the world.
Unknown Speaker 2:24
Unknown Speaker 2:25
yeah. So I have spent 20 years in the corporate world in the events planning business. The travel incentive business and taking boobs for mostly high tech companies all around the world on different exciting travel programs. And always in the back of my mind was, you know, what are you doing towards your goal of sailing around the world because that was just my dream. That was my major focus was to do that. So for 20 years I worked and finally I was able to sell the company. And get just enough money to cheese me into thinking that I could sail around the world. I mean, I could buy a boat and leave. And when I say that it means while I still had to borrow the money to buy a boat, and then halfway through the trip, I had to sell my half of the house that I owned with my partner. And so it was just a tease. But that’s because when we left, I thought we were going for maybe one or two years, I really didn’t think about how long it takes to sail around the world. Because I really didn’t have all that knowledge. So I just went,
Unknown Speaker 3:39
Wow. Yeah, very adventure and adventurous without quite, you know, the full full planning. So, so interesting. So it did. So, so it took you if I’m not mistaken, six years total,
Unknown Speaker 3:56
correct. Six years. Just sail all the way around the world. That was four 30,400 nautical miles. Wow.
Unknown Speaker 4:04
And now, it doesn’t seem like it would take that long was it that you stopped in a lot of ports and you know, hung out for
Unknown Speaker 4:12
a while, right? The idea was not to like race around the world quickly, but to see the world and live in different places. And so as we we sell sell from San Francisco to Mexico, and then we took about six months to cross the Pacific, and ended up in New Zealand. And you stayed in New Zealand for about eight months, waiting out the hurricane season, then went back up into the Pacific for another six months, and then back down to Australia, and we stayed in Australia for another eight months. So yeah, so you’re basically following the weather as you go around the world and avoiding the hurricane seasons. And then we lived in other places that we live in Long time we’re in Phuket, Thailand for about two to three months, I think. And in Tel Aviv, Israel for about three months, and then in Turkey for almost a year and Barcelona for a month. And those are the major places that we spent a long time. It was really great to get to not be a tourist but to be part of the community.
Unknown Speaker 5:27
Gotcha. Wow, amazing, an amazing way to see the see the world.
Unknown Speaker 5:32
And we did fly the rainbow flag all the way around the world. We did take it down when we entered pirate alley, which is the Gulf of Aden, just before and going up the Red Sea. And we held he had it down for those for that period. And once we got through the Suez Canal, it’s just overnight sail to Israel. And on our approach to Israel, we put the rainbow flag back up pulled into the Marina. And within about 20 minutes this woman comes by, and she sees a rainbow flag and she points up to it. And she says, Me too. Me too. And he was. And so, Ireson was our first our first gay friend that we found that in Israel, and many more awesome. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 6:23
Unknown Speaker 6:26
it’s in your, your, your your real I guess goal of this was just to to see the world as you said it wasn’t like you were trying to you know beat some time record or something like that in Russian was just your your your way of seeing the world?
Unknown Speaker 6:43
Yes, it’s it certainly. I mean it could have I could have done it a lot cheaper by flying first class all the way around the world. Probably staying in Ritz Carlton’s, but this was what what I had always wanted to do and having Been a sailor my whole life and this is, you know, this is the Everest for a sailor This is the ultimate. And it doesn’t matter that if whether you’re trying to race around the world or go slowly, they say about on an average year 60 people are so completely circumnavigation. Really compared to the hundreds who climbed Mount Everest. Yeah, it’s just because it’s that difficult to get a boat around the world because of the weather challenges, breakdowns. And when you’re out for six years, everything breaks. You have salt, water and sun it corrodes everything and so you have a lot of breakdowns and just the not only breakdowns of the equipment but there are some emotional times as well when it it becomes so difficult of a challenge doing what we’re doing that you just want to break down and cry and just say oh my god, forget it. Yeah, oh here and go home. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 8:00
Yes, I could, I could definitely imagine that because you’re on a small vessel relatively small in comparison to living in a house much smaller. Yeah. And you’re with the same people are saying very small group of people or in a very extended amount of time.
Unknown Speaker 8:17
Unknown Speaker 8:18
And that alone as we have found, you know, through this COVID situation that we’re now living with, you know, most people are used to going to their, you know, work every day and coming home and being even just being trapped in that, you know, in and around your home in the house with the same people in your family. Yeah, you can go a little bit stir crazy.
Unknown Speaker 8:40
Yeah. Oh, well, we say that a one year on board a boat together is like a dog year. Okay, so if so, it’s seven, so six years. I was with my partner at the time, Ken for for most of the trip. That was six years. So times. You know Seven is 42 years and then at the the gay gay years on top of that very is
Unknown Speaker 9:10
right What is it? I’ve heard different numbers like one gay relationship year is like three or four and the heterosexual world. So add, add that then multiply or multiply that then multiply you’re on the boat thing. So that’s like oh my gosh, over 100 years, like being together. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 9:34
Most of the people that we met who were who were doing what we were doing ended up divorced at the end of their trip. I think I think us and two other couples that I know stayed together. And then we were together for Ken and I were together for five years more after the trip. And then then we finally call it quits. Okay, no, still
Unknown Speaker 10:00
So what are so let’s kind of, you know, your now or you have been kind of taken that and you you wrote a book about your experiences. And I would recall that when we were had the opportunity when you were visiting Fort Lauderdale last year to finally meet in person after having had several phone conversations together. And you talked about how, during the course of your your journey, you you, it finally struck you to begin journaling. Yes. Yeah. And so talk about that a little bit and maybe talk about, you know, some of the significant or key points that made you realize that, you know, there’s a book here about leadership because that’s ultimately it from what I have gathered what your book is really about.
Unknown Speaker 10:58
It is it’s an The book is called the boy behind the gate. And it’s called, it’s, well, I still get emails from people. I’ve almost every week from a new reader saying, because of your book, thank you, I did.dot.so. It’s very motivating, in empowering people that will I did this and I was just a regular guy. So what what is it that you want to do? And why can’t you do that? And so it puts a lot. I think it’s very empowering in that sense. And the other thing is that it is about leadership in the sense that when I left a sail out underneath the Golden Gate, there were four other people on board. And I can remember there’s a little snippet in the book about this sailing under the gate. And just looking around and seeing these other four people and realizing holy crap. I’m the captain here. And I told I remember telling myself two things. One, I really have to pee. And the second one was, well, if you’re going to be captain, you better start acting like one. And, yeah, and that happens like on day one. And, you know, there’s just it became the number the my a priority to get the boat around the world and everything that I could think of and everything that I could see and do and touch on any daily basis had to be toward that goal, whether that could mean solving a crew problem. I remember that when the crossing specifically had an issue between two crew members. I’m wondering who they are. And I put them into my cabin, my locked cabin in the back of the boat and I say don’t come out and tell your friends again. And, and it worked. Yeah, it worked. And you know the other thing about leadership on board of voters and empowering others. Even though there’s only one captain, you learn that captaining is not telling people what to do, but empowering them to do the right thing. Very good. Absolutely. And, yeah, so for the most part, you know, I left things not really sure who I would be continuing the trip with. But Ken, at the time, was a good friend and sailing buddy. And he came along, and we ended up spending the next six years together, a spark from a time when he left and came back, but that’s all in the book. That’s the juicy stuff, by the way for the listeners. Not that. Yeah, when he left when he came back and all the romance that follows and everything. But Ken and I became a pretty well oiled machine and we could sail this boat, just the two of us did was a 50 foot boat, 25 tons, a big boat, and just the two of us, just the Without without shouting without yelling at each other a lot by hand signals when when we would come into an anchorage we never yell like, like we saw all other couples going back up no do this not do that everything that we did was hand signals. I was at the wheel, he was on the bow. And between our hand signals, we got the whole thing done without saying a word people were just amazed.
Unknown Speaker 14:28
Oh, very, very, very interesting. Learning to adapt your communication while still getting the job done.
Unknown Speaker 14:37
Yes, exactly. I mean, there’s we’re also scuba divers. And so you’ve learned to communicate underwater with hand signals. And so yeah, it was, you know, as a leader, I tried to make it a good place to be on board the boat, for whether it was for myself for Canada and for our guests. When we cross it Three oceans, the Pacific, Atlantic, Indian and Atlantic. We had two other crew members with us. Just for the sleep factor, though we can actually get some real sleep. But the hardest passages, I’m just trying to answering, in my mind the questions that people want to know. But the hardest passages we’re not crossing the oceans a lot when we cross the Pacific Ocean. It took us 21 days. And that was one of my favorite days. Wow, the difficult passages were three, four or five days when they were just Ken and I, and we were in and out of islands and reefs and areas like down in Southeast Asia, Fiji and places like that. That was a really difficult exhausting sailing. And we we had a system where it was just the two of us. We were three hours on three off, three on three off, three on three off, and that just goes 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Wow. You
Unknown Speaker 16:00
Yeah. Does that mean if it were just the two of you that it was one was on for three, while the other was sleeping for three to essentially? One person manning the boat?
Unknown Speaker 16:10
Exactly. Wow. Yeah, exactly.
Unknown Speaker 16:14
And so was the difficult portion down in those in the Pacific area and the Pacific Island area that you’ve mentioned was that because of the reefs and the dangers of it, versus being in the open water?
Unknown Speaker 16:27
Correct, right. And the saying goes, it’s, it’s not the ocean that gets you it’s the hard bits around the edges. So it’s land that is a problem for a boat. And so we know you’re very close proximity, like sailing up inside the Great Barrier Reef in Australia, two days after day after day, too many reefs to be as to sail at night. Some of them are Uncharted, and so you’re having to read the water and find a new Anchorage. Every night and yeah, so it was was challenging. Wow. But great fun.
Unknown Speaker 17:07
Yeah, uh wow it I mean, what an incredible experience, you know that that’s been, you know not many people as you’ve also recovered about not many people take on those kind of life experience big moment challenges in their life and, you know, that seems to be a lot what you are have transitioned into and, and helping be a life coach, business coach and retirement coach and saying to you know, people who have worked their life and whatever careers you know, even folks of high accomplishment doctors, attorneys, executives and so forth and they’re looking at retirement, and, you know, that could Be quite challenging because it’s like, what the world am I going to do with the rest of your life when you could have quite a long life to live depending on when you retire?
Unknown Speaker 18:10
Absolutely. And you know what happened to the way I got into coaching and coaching people who are retiring, or at least in transition to their next big thing in life is when I came back, and I spent three years writing the book, and book was published in a one six literary awards within the first year. And yeah, and so that made my mother very happy. So that was a good thing. Yeah. And so then I got a call from a friend of mine, who is a CEO. And he said, Hey, Larry, I’ve got a question for you. And he wanted to ask me some questions about this business. So I went in and saw him and he’s and as with most business, executive coaching, the person doesn’t really want to ask you Hey, how do I run my business? So can you help me with this balance sheet or something like that? No, what they’re asking you about is more people issues. How do I deal with john, what should I do about this particular moral dilemma I’m in. But this person said, Hey, Larry, I wanna I want to ask you is, what am I going to do when I retire? And how did you do it? How did you let go of everything, including your identity of who you were as an executive, to change and to go sailing? And is there a process for that? And I said, well, gee, not that I know of, but I’ll think about it. Then I got a call from another friend who is the CEO. And the same thing happened. He asked me the same questions. And I thought, okay, I’m onto something here. And so I said, I took the next year and I reverse engineered all the steps that I went through to retire to be able to leave my career. My income, my security, my home my identity of who I was. And I documented these steps. And then I created the video program. sailings retirement, which is an online interactive video programs, the first one, and it takes you from see what am I gonna do with the rest of my life, all the way through to I have a plan and take walks you through all the steps. And it’s not the physical steps like save X amount of dollars. It’s a non financial, I don’t talk about money at all. But it’s it’s steps of, for example, what’s your vision and teaching people how to how to dream and how to vision and what they can imagine for themselves. And then turning that into those visions and goals. And then figuring out what you’re good at what you’re not good at. and then and then managing your fears, because fears, you know, fear stops so many people from so many things.
Unknown Speaker 20:57
Unknown Speaker 20:58
Yeah. So this Uh, you know, those are the kinds of steps that it takes you through. And I’m just very proud of that program. I love it. So,
Unknown Speaker 21:09
yeah, and I love that you don’t focus necessarily on the money there. I mean, certainly having the finances to accomplish you know what you want. Important. But then there’s also other people who help you do that if you need help to do it, under understanding your why understanding the What drives you, what are you interested in? What is really going to make you happy? Yes. You know, so many people go through their life working in a career, that they’re really not that passionate about. Right, that they may not have even they may have stumbled into the career or let’s say they’re even a you know, successful doctor or attorney or something they might have gotten into that career because that’s what their family expected.
Unknown Speaker 21:59
Unknown Speaker 22:00
You know, it wasn’t necessarily their passion. And although many are not, you know, let’s, you know, be clear about that. But, you know, being able to take that time where, unlike you not even waiting till you’re, you know, in what you would call your typical retirement years, right? You took that opportunity to say, Look, I’ve had this this passion, this dream, and what do I need to do to accomplish this while I still have the opportunity and the strength and stamina to actually do it, and enjoy it? Yeah, come out on the other side.
Unknown Speaker 22:42
Exactly. And it and deciding what am I willing to give up for that dream? Right, in my case, it was pretty much all pretty much everything you know, I mean, I it was career suicide, of course. And You know, it was deciding that the life is not, you know, it’s enough, as we all know, it’s not getting any longer. You never know what’s going to happen. And if you have the opportunity to make your dream come true, take it. If you don’t know what your dream is, you don’t know what your passion is. And that is something for a lot of people, they don’t know what they want to do. You know, you know, always everyday that you are trying to help people to, you know, help people in our community. And I’m now trying to, to help people realize their own dreams and make their dreams come true. And I help people to do that. And that’s where I get my satisfaction from now. But some people don’t know what they want to do. And so I run them through what’s called my passion quiz. And it has all these questions about, you know, digs deep into finding out what it is someone really wants to do, by the way, that’s free on my website. If people want
Unknown Speaker 24:01
to awesome, and you know, and because I spent most day kind of catching up, because it has been a while, almost a year since you and I had last time together, and I saw that program, and one it’s very affordable.
Unknown Speaker 24:19
Hello, Sandra $100 or so? Yes.
Unknown Speaker 24:22
Yeah, so very affordable for people and I almost, you know, in doing that and hearing you talk now, you know, sell into your retirement, it’s I’m kind of getting the sense that it’s, it’s doesn’t have to be necessarily about retirement, it’s more sell into your dream. You’re selling to your passion.
Unknown Speaker 24:44
So it’s great. And recognizing that that that is valid. That is it’s just as valid to pursue your passion as it is to pursue going, you know, to a job that you don’t like every day, and you should be pursuing it because you don’t know what’s going to happen.
Unknown Speaker 25:00
Absolutely, I think it’s more valid actually. And you know, especially, you know, in entrepreneurial ism, or you know, even if you are going if you’re working, you know, in a, you know, regular job, you know, if you really love for example, helping people and you have had personal family crisis with cancer and you can’t be the oncologist but you go to become a, you know, radiation technician or something or even homeopathic person, and you then work with people who have that that’s very rewarding, and it’s been focused in and around your passion of helping people with cancer, if that’s, you know, what it is, you know, everyone has their different things. And it’s so sad that the vast majority of people and I can say this without even citing statistics or anything It’s just, I know this to be true. And I challenge anyone to prove me wrong on this. But the vast majority of people are not working or living and doing what they’re passionate about.
Unknown Speaker 26:15
Unknown Speaker 26:16
And so so this is an opportunity for all of our listeners to regardless again, don’t get hung up on the naming of sale into your retirement, just think of it as sale into your passion. From the show notes, it’s already listed there on the page. So if if you are no matter what level you are, you could even be 18 years old and looking at what you should be doing in your in your future career. You could be 30 years old and having your first mini midlife crisis and wondering
Unknown Speaker 26:53
right What the
Unknown Speaker 26:54
fuck am I gonna do the rest of my life. Trust me, it’s not the price, not the last time that’s going to
Unknown Speaker 27:01
And you’re talking with someone who have reinvented himself several times. And you
Unknown Speaker 27:06
have and successfully and you recognize that his life is not static, and you don’t have to do the same thing all the time. And, and and go do that. Yeah, part of it is the decision making process is that, you know, I will say that making no decision is a decision. It is. And a lot of people just don’t make the decision when they don’t realize that they are, in fact, making a decision. And I think that gets
Unknown Speaker 27:33
back to your point of fear. You know, people have a very rooted, deep rooted, fear of change and fear of the unknown. Yes. And so, utilizing your your very affordable coursework online, could help them identify that their passion help them identify those fears have you mentioned and create a plan for reaching for it?
Unknown Speaker 28:07
Yes, exactly. And it’s good that you mentioned that fear, you know, that was a subject of my first TED talk was about fear. And it’s titled passion Trumps fear. Okay, well, I wish I hadn’t quite used that exact wording now.
Unknown Speaker 28:29
Unknown Speaker 28:32
Yeah. And, and I was talking about how, I mean, I was pretty much afraid for six years, on a daily basis. I mean, there was always something that that to be afraid of. And what I learned was that fear is just is to be accepted and embraced. It’s nature’s way of making us focus on the task at hand. And you don’t plow through your fears. You don’t conquer your fears, you know, knocked down the wall of fear. You know, this is what other philosophers have to say. It’s not what I believe. I believe that they’re that when you’re standing at the wheel in front of a 30 foot wave, I mean, 30 foot seas. You can’t say it, you know, well, I’m not afraid. Because it’s bullshit you are. everybody’s afraid of that situation. You have to be crazy not to be afraid. But you learn to use the tools that fear is giving you to maximize your situation. So it’s making you sharp, it’s making you attend attentive. It’s making you really focused on the situation. And it’s, it’s a it’s a method of dealing with fear that I believe is the right one.
Unknown Speaker 29:46
Okay, I unders I definitely understand you. And
Unknown Speaker 29:52
I think it’s also too a matter of recognizing, recognizing that fear and acknowledging that that’s what it is. And
Unknown Speaker 30:02
that’s the first step is to recognize the fear. And the second step is to accept it.
Unknown Speaker 30:07
Unknown Speaker 30:10
And you know, like so many people too they they they live in a cortisone heightened constant state of stress. And part of that is is fear based, you know, fear of their, their job, fear, fear and anxiety in relationships. And, you know, when, when you take the boldness, and, you know, like even, you know, in, in our own kind of tying it to the LGBT, you know, lives. You know, sometimes we have relationships, whether that’s direct family members or other people in our lives, that create this this sense of social conditioning that make you almost live in fear or two live in a state of not being your full, true, authentic self. And that is a fear based response. You’re not living your fullest and who you are. And the majority of that is fear based your, your you’re afraid of losing your job. You’re you’re afraid of what your evangelical right wing parent is going to say. Right? You know, and everyone is on their own journey. But at some point you have to say, you know, no, I’m worth it. I’m worth being myself, and I’m worth going after my dreams.
Unknown Speaker 31:41
Unknown Speaker 31:43
Putting those kinds of things in their place, so that that fear does not control you any longer. You are now the captain of your own ship.
Unknown Speaker 31:55
Yes, you are. You’re the master of your fate, the captain of your soul.
Unknown Speaker 31:59
Absolutely. Little lay Absolutely.
Unknown Speaker 32:01
And it’s, uh, you know, going, we left right after 911 happened. Okay. And so that was not really a great time to leave. And I remember one of my brothers saying, well, you’re not actually going to go now, are you? I mean, it’s not exactly the best time to be an American sailing around the world. And he goes, are you going to fly the American flag? And I said, well, we’re going to fly the American flag, and we’re going to fly the rainbow flag. And he just kind of slaps his forehead. He goes, Oh my God, why don’t you just put a target on your sail?
Unknown Speaker 32:37
And I said, Well, that’s just the way it is, you know, and it’s funny, um,
Unknown Speaker 32:43
our experiences, you know, for being openly gay as we went around the world. Were really, for the most part, excellent. I mean, nobody really cared. And we found that being gay and the rest of the world was was just fine. Because you know what?
Unknown Speaker 33:02
I think you have your phone on your desk buzzy in
Unknown Speaker 33:10
the garbage, no worries that was just vibrating. And I think your your mic is right there. So we were hearing during that buzz. So say yes. So you know it how to say it is the Was it the best time to do it? Maybe not, but maybe, you know, it’s it’s standing up standing up and out for who you are. Yeah. And, you know, in everything in life, there’s risks, right? Yes, it is. There’s there’s risk
Unknown Speaker 33:47
Unknown Speaker 33:48
Yeah, I mean, come on. There’s there’s risk getting in your car driving three miles to the grocery store and back.
Unknown Speaker 33:55
Unknown Speaker 33:56
Exactly. Yeah. And that’s just the car in today’s world. COVID there’s risk, you know, apparently getting within six feet and breathing the same air of someone, there’s risk and everything. And it’s a matter of are you going to let those risks create the fear that keeps you from achieving what you want to achieve?
Unknown Speaker 34:20
Exactly, exactly. And and we all know that risk. Risk means often means sacrifice. So are you are you going to risk something for somebody else that you want, like becoming a great violinist means you have to risk the fact that you’re not going to be going out with your friends on Fridays and Saturdays. And instead you’re going to be practicing, you know, that kind of thing. So there’s always risk associated with any achievement, whether it be small or large. And I just try to encourage people to realize that your achievement, you know, this big achievement
Like sailing around the world, sometimes is hard for people to relate to, because it was such a big thing. But I try to, you know, want people to know that it you know, you don’t have to sail all the way around the world to have an adventure, you know, and to fulfill your dreams and pursue your passions. You might want to open up a little coffee shop in the store on the corner and that was your dream. You might want to help your, you know, your nephews soccer team or something like that. I mean, there’s all kinds of ways to to get fulfillment and passion. The one caution that I always like to have is that Be careful not to mistake multiple pleasures for purpose and fulfillment. So when so some when someone, let’s take someone who’s retiring and they go in and I said, What are you going to do when you retire? Well, I’m going to, I’m going to sleep late travel and play golf. Okay, or play whatever, you know, that’s a pretty typical answer. And then my question is Of course, well then what are you gonna do after that? Where’s your fulfillment and your purpose credit come from? and usually it takes someone about six months to a year into retirement to realize that they are missing purpose and fulfillment. And then that often comes the quickest fix for that is to help others.
Whether you give back teaching or volunteer or how or or right your experiences or something, but feel like you’re, we’re feel like you’re part of something larger than yourself. Yeah,
right. Every everyone does typically need to feel that sense of purpose. And, of course, there are organizations out there such as score, where folks who have retired and volunteer and work with young entrepreneurs. Yeah, I would also like to know Make sure that everyone here is aware and or remind you that on your professional profile on out bureau o UT bu r o calm, you are actually able to indicate whether you would like to be a mentor. And then a brief description about the areas that are you that you are open to being a mentor on, of course, including the rest of your profile. You’re also then able to indicate whether you would like to be a mentee whether you know you’re open to having a mini tour, and the specific areas that you are looking for to help in whatever those are. And via the member search, you are able to find each other justic Thank you.
I mean that is this that’s that gives people the opportunity to to Yeah, to mentor to help. You just want to, you know, you have all this wisdom that we’ve earned in our lives. Do we have knowledge? That’s one thing, but as all, you know, as an older person, okay, I’m not that old for the radio, listening. Um, but in addition to knowledge, you have wisdom. And if I might, if I might explain the difference.
Yeah. So knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.
That’s, that’s funny.
Yeah, yeah. And you know, I would, I would kind of elaborate on that is that and maybe this came from experience. Knowledge is is, for example, reading a book on search engine optimization. You can Read a book. You can read a book about anything and you could gain knowledge. Right? But the wisdom comes from experience.
Exactly. And often that experience has been laden with mistakes along the way. Oh yes.
Like putting tomato in a salad. And so when you are open to learning from others, and being open to being a mentee and having someone guide you and coach you, on areas that you know, aren’t your strengths and where you are trying to improve upon, it’s taking it’s leveraging their wisdom, because of the lessons learned and hard knocks that they have achieved and hopefully You then don’t have to make those same mistakes.
Exactly. And, you know, when I wrote
my I wrote another book,
navigating entrepreneurship. I don’t know if you can see that. There it is. We’ll have it on the
And the reason I wrote that one was because I was getting a lot of questions from people about who are doing startups and starting up their small business, and they think we’re hitting them. You know, being an entrepreneur, as you know, is quite a roller coaster ride. And so in that book, navigating entrepreneurship, I address the roller coaster and walk people through the different aspects that they’re going to be experiencing during when they’re starting up their business. And change is one of them and being proactive versus reactive and no just tips on that because I wanted my wisdom to be out there.
Awesome, yes, we will definitely have a link to that. And of course links to your websites where then that will also be on there. You know, and I’d like to add, you know, being an entrepreneur, especially, you know, especially a bootstrap, you know, solo entrepreneur, you know, it’s a tough life. It’s a, you know, like right now out Bureau is, is, it’s still just me at this point. And, you know, having had and I do everything so from the technical website stuff to the content creation to the search engine optimization that needs to be done so people find it to these interviews, yes, and, and, and editing and everything else in between and, and that can become a little over overwhelming and it’s, you know, it’s like to your point earlier where you had to set a daily A task of saying, What am I going to do today? That drives me to my goal? Right? And as an entrepreneur and a startup entrepreneur, I think that’s a very important lesson, Larry, is because there are so many things, you know, there’s the, your technical, there’s the the the practical, the practical things of things to do. There’s the marketing, there’s the accounting, hopefully. Hopefully soon, yeah, hopefully soon. There, there there’s legal You know, there’s so many things you have to wear so many hats and or be able to afford to hire people to do those things and it becomes very overwhelming. And so, a good lesson for all entrepreneurs and budding entrepreneurs out there and those wanting to follow your dream is like, you know, Some days I get overwhelmed. Yes. And and what I do though is is similar to you is, I have a I have a set thing that I look at every day and I said, What am I going to achieve today? or What am I going to achieve tomorrow, that builds upon what I have been doing, and continues to drive out the arrow in the direction that I am wanting to go. Now I’ll be honest, I never achieve everything that I plan to watch. I’ve always have put more on my plate than is humanly possible. But I always achieved something literally every single day. Right? That’s right. cluding this on a Saturday?
Yep. And the largest emission that you could ever imagine. Is can be broken down into multiple steps. And you just have to take that first step and once you take The first step Doesn’t it seem that you kind of are on a, like a railroad, you know, runaway freight train just kind of careening down this track? And it’s happening and you almost feel like it’s dragging you sometimes. You’re not Yeah, and that you’re not steering it, you know?
Oh, yes, that has happened, that has definitely happened more often than once. And, you know, so so folks looking at, you know, hopefully taking your, you know, your course on sailing into their, their dream, and looking at even, you know, especially now in code, you know, the COVID world, it’s really a great time actually, to start a business especially, even if you, you know, been laid off from work, because, you know, really that’s it depending on what kind of business you’re wanting to start. Now. You know, if you’re obviously if you’re wanting to be the next, you know, Diamond in Port retailer in your state,
hello. That’s going to take a lot of money, right?
There’s so many businesses out there that you are able to do and and do it depending on your skills for very little money I you know, like I’ve never been I’m not really don’t even consider myself now a web applications developer I’ve been but you know the entire site even with its flaws and even with its, you know, technical issues that I have had and I’ve overcame most, I’ve done it all. I have learned it all. And whenever I’m talking to the developers of the two sides of the house, they can never pull any wool over my eyes because I know and or I will investigate. And, you know, also, you know, as a small business when you’re looking at your website, there’s there’s many free tools out there like WordPress and free templates, and so forth to do writing your own content is free. Doing the videos like this on zoom, it’s free. You’re doing that great backgrounds that you and I both have behind us is via Canva. That’s free. Right? And there’s there’s so many tools out there. There’s video editing software that’s free. You don’t even have to pay for Microsoft Office. There’s Libra office, which is free.
But you wish you had told me that?
Oh, yeah, now I am. And of course, there’s Google, you know, Docs and so forth. I mean, there’s so many there are so technology has ended the freemium versions. Now you may not unselect Canva. For example, I use Canva. But I don’t and there’s a premium version I still have I still get everything done with their everything that they have for free. Yeah, right. I don’t I don’t currently pay for that particular service. There’s lots of services that I use that I see Just use the free version now eventually I’d love to upgrade. But I’m just trying to make sure that you know, everyone here listening, you know, can say, you know, holy, holy shit absolute, you know for a moment I can do this
thing. Yeah, exactly think about it if I
can build a group on LinkedIn of 46 and a half thousand global members that by the time you probably listen to this here in a few weeks, I have been told and I have provided all the materials to LinkedIn, they’re going to be featuring the group at the end of the month for pride. us first time in link in my groups 12 year history that LinkedIn has done that. Oh, so it’s about putting in the work. Nothing comes easy, and nothing comes for free. So let me just add that go get Larry’s training program. Ram, under 100 bucks, you can put yourself on the right course. But you also have to realize it’s about putting in your work. There there is no there is no instant, you know, gratification here, right?
I was neither words nor worry affect outcome only action does exactly.
My stain on that is magic and miracles happen when you have faith, faith in yourself and you take action. That’s right, because those who only have faith are rewarded a warm seat
is very true. You get
off your ass and do it. That’s my motto.
It looks like right now in this crisis. I wish that I was approached by an entrepreneur saying hey I do in home haircuts because look at this how
That’s a whole business I could use a haircut.
Oh my goodness. You’re still Yeah, you’re in California guys, your your hair salon still have it opened up?
No. It’s been a long time. I mean, I’m running on a gel.
Oh my goodness too interesting. Well, my sister unfortunately. She’s in Lakeland, Florida. She is a hairstylist and she actually within one week of lockdown, she started visiting all of our customers at home.
Oh, see? That’s brilliant. Yeah, absolutely. And it could be happening here. I just don’t know about it. But okay.
Yeah, Kepler was so very cool. So Larry, we will I so much appreciate you coming on with us today. Very Good to see you again. Obviously, hopefully next time you’re in the Fort Lauderdale area. We’ll get together for lunch or dinner
like and when your issue was gone.
I would love that set. Hopefully we’ll get some early adopters here. companies and of course some are based out in that area. Would you have to come out to San Francisco again?
I’m gonna throw one more thing out which is that on my website all over it. Larry Jacobson comm there are places where you can click to contact me. And I offer a complimentary exploratory coaching session to anybody. Oh, wonderful. Yeah.
And just like a 30 minute
30 to 40 minutes and we’ll find it you know, see where you are. Maybe where you want to go to and kind of map out how we would get there. Just as an exploratory to see if they’re up for having a coach. I’m personally believe everybody needs a coach. I have a coach.
Absolutely. And that’s where I so far I pay you a coach. Yesterday was a career coach. Last week had a holistic health coach. Excellent. So I personally have also, in my past have had the the fortune of having a coach for a year that was actually paid for by my employer, and the time and that coach worked with the entire infrared Information Technology Department.
And that’s what
started and I was long time ago, I was only 29 years old at the time. And that’s what was my first introduction to life in business coaching, kind of span both. And so it was a really wonderful experience. It helped open my eyes. And it was because one of the things after week we went through the whole Myers Briggs you know, And a couple other things. And it was about our about our fourth, third or fourth time that he and I were sitting down together. It was interesting again, I was still young, prior army working in my technology field and and that which actually led to a long career and it was partly from his advice. Because he said, you’re doing stuff that’s completely new. You’re creating totally new processes for this entire organization. You’re a very driven young man at the time. And how come you’re not out doing this for others? How come you’re sitting in this office with this paycheck, you should be earning three, four or 510 times this amount. Wow. And so he is the one who challenged me to I then did go become a director at a consulting firm, doing what I used to do, helping large companies understand how they own and manage their technology, business process consultants, etc. And it was from part of that foundation in my military expense experience of Sergeant Harry Tucker, who is one of the most influential people of my life. And he taught me very early. Again, not to I’m going to say exactly what he said today might sound a little, you know, sexist, or whatever, I won’t, but I will say exactly what he said. Be a man, tell me what you are going to do. And I will tell you if I have a problem with it. never asked me permission for anything because if you do, the answer will always be no. Whoo. Isn’t that amazing?
Oh, wow. It is amazing. Yeah.
I was 18 years old.
When Sergeant Harry Tucker came into my life I was stationed in our shopping Burg Germany. And was very interesting because he was a pagan. And everyone feared him. He was rather short. I’m 510 he was probably by three ish, heavy set. So he was a bit round. But boy, let me tell you that man commanded a presence like he was six foot four
is great. The influence that he had on you?
Oh, yeah, it is. I mean, I constantly talk about him and one other person who, who’s actually from Columbus, Ohio, who now also lives in Fort Lauderdale. And his name is Steven Shellenberger second most influential person, man in my life. And he he’s one One of the top 10 LGBT rights activists of the state of Ohio is now a little into his 70s. But way back shortly after my ex and I had, I’d already been out of the military, Chris of my 20s was from Columbus, Ohio. So we move there. We actually are in two books. Because of his. He was kicked out of the military because of our relationship and we fought and gotten an honorable discharge. And so we were the poster boys for the don’t ask, don’t tell campaign in the state of Ohio during that whole period 1991 ish. And because of that political activism back then we ran town hall meetings. We were very involved politically in the Columbus Ohio area. So that’s how we met Stephen Shellenberger and he used to be a high school teacher. He and his partner built a business selling antiques just because of their hobby. That’s what they did together they wish
they built their I
going to garage sales and then reselling, for profit. But, but this guy started buying back in the day, just south of downtown Columbus, Ohio, and the largest contagious historic district in the United States called a German village. Beautiful, beautiful area, cobblestone streets and so forth. Well, he was buying it back in the 70s and 80s. For like, $1 a house from the city and take over the taxes. And then and then the refurbish them, I mean, you can’t touch any of those houses for like, under six 700,000 plus a million, you know, kind of places and So by the time I got to meet Stephen, he had already had all this success and it but it was building it based on his passion, things that he enjoyed doing and things that he had he could do. And it was actually stuff that he and his partner who died of HIV that they did together. And I really just admired him and how much he dedicated his his life to the LGBT community and equality. Equal Rights in the state of Ohio and, and nationally. And so one day sitting having a hamburger with my ex and I sitting at this place called maxima in the village, had German village and I asked him, I said, Steven, how did you how do you do this? How do I do this? How do I replicate what you’ve done and he just very casually without any He just said, well, Dennis, it’s simple. Do what you’re passionate about.
If you do what you’re passionate about,
it’ll drive you.
It won’t seem like work you’ll work your ass off and the money will follow. Yeah. And so say yes. I just to share with you and our listeners that great little story. Shortly after I moved to Fort Lauderdale, and now in January a year ago, I you know, working on out bureau again, getting back to that entrepreneurial thing, working my tail off every day.
It’s, it’s, it’s working.
Yeah, it’s working. But I got to share this how the universe comes together, you know, when you believe in yourself. And so it was about three months or so after I had moved there. And some people in for in Fort Lauderdale. Come there, you know, seasonally, so I had not. So at any rate, it just note that and so one day, I’m like Like, oh my gosh, I’ve started out bureau on what little bit of savings I had for my divorce and selling the house. I put everything into it. I you know, I’m like staring at a finite bank account. And you know, just stuff going on craziness going on. And so I started, it was literally on a Tuesday afternoon at 330 I sat down in my living room that my duplex that I had there and was meditating I’m like, you know, universe, you need to show me a sign that I’ve made the absolute worst decision in my life. That moving to Fort Lauderdale was a great choice for me. And you know me, it can’t be some little butterfly fluttering around. It can’t be a dragon fly laying on my shoulder. Lightning. You need to punch me in the nose. Do you know I am not kidding. I was at 330 to four o’clock in the afternoon, at seven o’clock, I went to a local bar who also serves food. And most a lot of them do there. And I’m sitting at the edge of the bar. And all of a sudden this gentleman walks up to the bar and orders another glass of white wine. And I look at him. And Steven is always wearing very distinct round glasses. Very, you know, avant garde cheeky looking glasses. It’s been his signature look for years. So I look at him and I’m like, I haven’t seen this job. This man in over eight years. I’m like, Steven, and he looked at me, he goes, Dennis, and I’m like, Oh my god, I get up. I’m like, Hello, go over. Give him a big big hug. I’m like, oh my god. Steven, are you here? visiting? He goes, No, hon, I live here half time. I’m not about to move here full time. I’m like,
I now have met so many people. It’s one thing I love about Fort Lauderdale people are from all over. I now have. So I’ve known Steven since 1991. I’ve run into other people that I have known just as long from Columbus, Ohio, I’ve actually ran into a friend from Germany. And, you know, what that just did for me is whatever your sign is, whatever, you need to confirm you that you’re on the right path. It will come but first you have to get on your right path.
Yeah, right. Yeah. You a path. It might not even be the right path.
At first. So true.
Yeah. And you just have to take a step, take that first step. Whatever. That’s it. Once you’ve defined where you’re gonna go, then it’s a matter of knowing it’s going to take steps to get there. Take the first step. You know, I always say that I’ve achieved pretty much everything I’ve set out to achieve in my life. So my next question is, have I set out to achieve enough? And so, so I’m always looking for to take that first step towards the next thing,
when that is that that is the key point is, you know, you just can’t dream it. You just get magic and miracles happen when you take action.
exactly. Good on you. You have to take action, because otherwise nothing happens.
And I just want I love the idea of empowering people. And I want people to know that, you know, I’m just a regular guy who wanted to go sailing. And so I ended up sailing around the world and being the first gay person to do that. Well, yeah, that’s a big deal. But that’s only a big deal to me, really, because I’m the one who wanted to sail around the world. Whatever it is. Somebody else wants to do. That’s their big deal. And they can they can do it. I’m just a regular guy. I don’t have any special skills. I still don’t have enough skills to sail around the world. I’ve already done it. You know, so if I if I waited to get all the skills necessary to go sailing around the world, I’d still wouldn’t have left.
So true. You got it. You got to take and learn along the way.
Yep. So so cool was well, wow, we’ve had a great conversations later, Larry. And
as always, we can never we need another beer.
Well, the copies and coffee and beer that’d be great. Was the thank you so much for joining me today. Always good to have a chat with you. We started a few years ago, talking on the phone. I got the opportunity to meet in person and now today we get to start doing this where others get to get a little bit of insight From the different experiences and knowledge and hopefully wisdom, yes, you know, hopefully we can help the world just a little bit. Absolutely. Well Larry, again, thank you so much for taking time out of your Saturday to chat with us. And it’s for everyone listening. Thank you so much for tuning in. You will find this video episode on out bureau comm that is O UT bu r o comm you will find that by clicking podcast up at the top you will find it also by searching Larry Jacobson. In addition, you will also find his professional profile on the site and links to all of the books and websites that we have mentioned and possibly a few more. So definitely check that out. You can also if you don’t want to be stuck and watch our facial expressions and all of that kind of stuff and how you communicate Because you know, hey visual is a lot of communication as well. You can also listen to the Euro Voices Podcast on the go with your favorite app, including Apple podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Google podcasts, and many more. Thank you so much for tuning in. If you would like to be on the show, please reach out to us by contacting us via the episode pages and be up. Be a guest. We’d love to hear your story and learn all about the interesting things going on with you your career and your business. Thank you so much again. I’m Dennis belko. And this was Larry Jacobson, the first gay out man to sell around the world.
Bye bye. Thank you.