John-Manuel Andriote Journalist Gay Author resilience coach lgbtq professional entrepreneurs lesbian bisexual transgender queer network community outburo dennis velo

John-Manuel Andriote: Exploring Resilience of the LGBTQ Community

In this episode of OutBüro Voices featuring LGBTQ professionals, entrepreneurs, and community leaders from around the world, host Dennis Velco chats with John-Manuel Andriote, freelance health/medical-focused journalist for the likes of The Atlantic, Psychology Today, and others and author.   

In his early journalist career, he focused his reporting on HIV/AIDS and then broadened it to the wider health and medical topics.  Over the past 10 years, he has focused on psychological and emotional resilience.  He is currently training to become a personal resilience coach to help others build their own resilience.

Stonewall Strong John-Manuel Andriote Journalist Gay Author resilience coach lgbtq professional entrepreneurs lesbian bisexual transgender queer community outburo

John shares that in 2005, after reporting on HIV/AIDS, he received an HIV positive diagnosis.  This rather shocking diagnosis caused John to reflect on his life, the challenges, and assessing his ability to reach a positive outlook thriving and surviving life’s storms.  Exploring his own resilience made him keenly interested in the topic.  Stonewall Strong is not a self-help book perse, but rather a collection of personal stories that demonstrate resilience so that the readers may connect with authentic stories and glean insights.

In our engaging conversation, John discusses his book titled Stonewall Strong that focuses on resilience told through his own personal story from a Journaling archive stretching over 30 years to one on one interviews with notable gay figures like Bishop Eugene Robinson, Larry Kramer, Congressman Barney Frank, and others from many walks of life.  We chat about how members of the LGBTQ community face many obstacles and challenges others don’t yet still find ways to be resilient and thrive.  John found that we need to tell our own stories in our own ways versus allowing others to define us.  Too often still today LGBTQ people are bombarded with the negative message that they are not worthy, they don’t belong, they are not loved for who they are.  One must overcome these messages that can become deeply ingrained causing emotional, mental, development, relationship, self-loathing, and potential substance abuse issues.  Resilience is reframing that message internally from a state of the victim to a mindset of a survivor, a hero for overcoming.

This mindset shift is very important because negativities attract negativity likewise positive attracts positive.  I share my personal story of having to put boundaries in place with people who after years of trying never accepted me for who I am and vehemently kept throwing mystical dogmatic religion in my face.  It was difficult, but I had to distance myself from them out of love and respect for myself. 

John developed a stand-alone course on developing resilience which he offers for free.  It is found on his website at 

To connect with John-Manuel find him on OutBüro here.  

Join me and John-Manuel on OutBüro, the LGBTQ professional and entrepreneur online community network for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, allies and our employers who support LGBTQ welcoming workplace equality focused benefits, policies, and business practices.

Would you like to be featured like this? Contact the host Dennis Velco.

OutBuro Writers block is bullshit author publisher Christopher Clawson-Rule gay novelist lgbt entrepreneur professional lesbian bisexual transgender queer community

Christopher Clawson-Rule: Publisher, Author, & Mentor

In this episode of OutBüro Voices featuring LGBTQ professionals, entrepreneurs, and community leaders from around the world, host Dennis Velco chats with Christopher Clawson-Rule, publisher, author, out gay entrepreneur.

Breaking Rules Publishin Christopher Clawson-Rule gay novelist lgbt entrepreneur professional lesbian bisexual transgender queer community

Christopher, who has several books published himself turned publisher with over 150 authors he represents says writer’s block is bullshit. He elaborates that writer’s block is just laziness. In our discussion, we explore his journey from starting his first book, ways to overcome writer’s block, and how he became a publisher. Christopher started writing after his 16-year-old daughter challenged him when after reading a book he said, “I could write better than this. Her reply was, “Well then why don’t you?”. When he completed his first manuscript she further challenged him to get it published. He was disappointed that the publisher simply handed him is now bound book and basically said, “Here you go.”. At the time Christopher was living in New York City. Eager to get his book out into the world he had an idea to gorilla market it by placing 100 copies in the subway stations. Passengers picked up his book and started reading it on their commute. Other passengers saw several people at the same time reading it and therefore thought it had to be good. This low budget marketing campaign paid off. It resulted in over 17,000 copies sold in a short time.

By the time Christopher finished his third book other authors began seeking his advice on how he was selling so successfully when the publishers offered little to no help or guidance. He realized that he wanted to help those authors in a professional way and so Breaking Rules Publishing was born. Watch or listen for his full story and examples of authors who break the rules to stand out.

To connect with Christopher find him on OutBüro here.

Join me and Christopher on OutBüro, the LGBTQ professional and entrepreneur online community network for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, allies and our employers who support LGBTQ welcoming workplace equality focused benefits, policies, and business practices.

Would you like to be featured like this? Contact the host Dennis Velco.

OutBuro Voices 1-32 Ray Baron-Woolford gay author playwright Last Queen of Scotland Kath Duncan LGBTQ entrepreneurs business owners lesbian queer community

The Last Queen of Scotland: Author & Playwright Ray Barron-Woolford

Ray Barron-Woolford is a lifetime community activist, broadcaster, playwright, and author. His most recent play is Liberty about Kath Duncan’s role in establishing the LGBTQ and civil rights movement in 1930’s Britain, laying the groundwork for The National Council Civil Liberties. Liberty is based on his book The Last Queen of Scotland exploring the rich and fascinating life of Kath Duncan.

Ray Barron-Woolford Author The Last Queen of Scotland

Kath Duncan was a significant figure during the 1930s involved in nearly every significant civil rights movement, revered and respected by most. She was a personal good friend of Winston Churchill’s wife before she married Churchill and remained close. Kath was a lesbian and married a gay man to hide their sexual orientation during a time that was not welcoming. Due to her political views and activism, she was under surveillance by the British government. There is therefore a tremendous amount of documentation about her life, who she associated with, where she went, and even what she ate. Ray petitioned access to the government records on Duncan which offers his book on her incredible rich accurate details. After the book was released Ray was encouraged to write a play to help bring Kath Duncan’s story to life. In our, discussion Ray describes the process he went through and the details of creating a period of work.

In a short time, his play gained attention and he was contacted by #Netflix who optioned it as a movie or series.

She was a diminutive school teacher from Kirkcaldy who enjoyed an “extraordinary” friendship with Winston Churchill and spent two terms in jail as she led some of the biggest civil rights campaigns of her generation.

But the story of Kath Duncan, a powerful orator “everyone was scared of” has, up until now, gone largely unnoticed by a modern audience.

Newspapers of the day dedicated countless column inches to the activities of the Scot, who was involved at the highest level in campaigns such as the 1920s hunger marches and the fight against Oswald Mosley’s fascists. She took on slum landlords, rallied against gas price rises for the poor and, later, acted as a recruiter and fundraiser for the Spanish Civil War. She was also a suffragette. But her legacy has been largely airbrushed out of history, according to Raymond Woolford, author of The Last Queen of Scotland, who said Duncan should be celebrated as a working-class hero.

Woolford said: “We get taught about our kings and queens and tyrants and yet working class heroes, ordinary women like Kath, who became extraordinary, are left in the shadows. It is long overdue that Kath is recognised as a national treasure.

“In the post-war context, Kath would stand out from the crowd and become arguably the greatest UK civil rights activist of the past 100 years; no other activist was as forceful as her in her leadership in so many different campaigns.”

For more of Ray’s background watch or listen to Getting to Know Ray Baron Woolford – Part 1 at

Ray Barron-Woolford Author Liberty

Connect with Ray on OutBüro.

Join Ray on OutBüro, the LGBTQ professional and entrepreneur online community network for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, allies and our employers who support LGBTQ welcoming workplace equality focused benefits, policies, and business practices.

Would you like to be featured like this? Contact the host Dennis Velco.

OutBuro Voices 1-26 Victoria Villasenor lesbian entrepreneur Global Wordsmiths author writer editor

Victoria Villasenor: Lesbian Entrepreneur, Author, and Editor

In this episode of OutBüro Voices featuring LGBTQ professionals, entrepreneurs, and community leaders from around the world, host Dennis Velco chats with Victoria Villasenor.

Be prepared to laugh and perhaps tear up a little too. Victoria Villasenor is an out lesbian entrepreneur, award-winning author, editor, author’s coach, community service leader, and simply a wonderful soul. We had such a great conversation.

As she states, “Do well, to do good. I love words. I love molding them, playing with them, learning about them. I love helping other people use them. I love to read and I’m a fan of pretty much every genre out there. Through my work with Global Wordsmiths and Global Words Press, I get to spend all my time doing things with words, which makes me a very happy editor.”

Victoria Villasenor Global Wordsmiths writer book editor lgbt professional lesbian business owner entrepreneur profile image online gay community OutBuro

Global Wordsmiths is a community interest company, meaning a big part of what they do is community-based. This is important to Victoria and evident in our chat. There are so many people who feel unheard and unseen, and finding ways to give them a platform to be heard is seen is vital. To date, they have done fourteen books with organizations like Nottingham Hospice, AGE UK, Trans4me, and the Southwell Workhouse all in where the youth or elderly re dived validation, guidance, and support in sharing their stories. Victoria has an MA in English composition and literature. She has written and published six novels under a pen name, as well as lots of short stories. She teaches workshops for various organizations and lead writing retreats in other countries.

  • 01:15 Brief introduction and overview of Global Wordsmith’s a book editing and author advising company. They also run a community non-profit side that works with community organizations.
  • 05:00 Victoria discusses why authors seek their help and their process 06:00 Victoria is also an award-winning author herself
  • 07:00 We chat about, talkers, ideas, and dreamers versus action and doing.
  • 09:20 Part of taking action is surrounding yourself with others who have common interests, goals, who you can learn from, with and support one another
  • 9:50 Some think, “I can read, so I can write”, but that’s not true. It is a craft and skill that must be developed and honed.
  • 12:00 Working with a professional editor helps hone your product to be the best it can be when released into the world
  • 13:00 Know your audience
  • 20:00 The process Victoria discusses the process of working with authors and the depth of services they seek
  • 25:00 Victoria’s community side works with kids working storytelling to help them connect with their school curriculum
  • 29:00 One community project was working with transgender youth helping them share their story, connect and communicate
  • 31:00 Other community projects have been working with the elderly in group homes to help them connect, share and come together to bond and diminish the feeling of isolation
  • 35:30 Victoria met her wife through the community work. Their shared passion turned into relationship passion.
  • 36:00 Their work touch and changes lives
  • 38:00 Your story matters, you matter, and you are not alone

Connect with Victoria on OutBüro at:

Join Victoria on OutBüro, the LGBTQ professional and entrepreneur online community network for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, a.lies and our employers who support LGBTQ welcoming workplace equality focused benefits, policies, and business practices.

Would you like to be featured like this? Contact the host Dennis Velco.

_Overcoming Addiction Depression Anxiety with David Clive Price LGBT Author Coach Professional Consultant Business Owner Video Interview Podcast

Overcoming Addiction, Depression, or Anxiety with David Clive Price

David Clive Price is an out LGBT entrepreneur mental well-being life coach, author and so much more. David has traveled the globe and lived in several countries which has given him a keen perspective on multiculturalism and leadership styles within different cultural contexts.

David like so many, particularly persons in the LGBT community, struggled with coming to terms with family and society messaging of norms versus his authentic self. Despite outward signs of success, he like many struggled with internally owning his own narrative and views which lead to depression and anxiety. Over time David learned to reframe the past messages or programs that led to the substance abuse overcome. Through his books and personal mental wellbeing, David has transformed his life into supporting others on their own journey of working through addictions, depression, anxiety, and other issues that hold you back from living a full, thriving authentic and healthy life.

David on OutBüro >

  • 01:15 Introducing David Clive Price
  • 3:00 Discussion of book Bamboo Strong
  • 9:00 Acknowledging the Past to Move Forward
  • 18:00 Phases of life
  • 23:00 You cannot change the past yet you can choose how you react and respond. You control yourself.
  • 26:00 You cannot change others, you may, however, set boundaries and enforce them 30:00 Habits create triggers and emotions have brain chemical associations that you become addicted to. Even the feeling of anger, victimization, and all other have a chemical reaction in the brain that you become addicted to. You can learn to reduce and eliminate those addictions and replace them with healthy habits and feelings.
  • 36:00 Having a wellness life coach can help you in your process
David Clive Price LGBT Author Hidden Demons LGBT Entrepreneur Mental Wellbeing Coach Overcoming addiction

Hidden Demons

David is well known for his clarity of analysis and approach, drawing on his experience and passion for people and cultures all over the world. He brings a strong comparative mindset to the challenges of his clients, enabling them to overcome their doubts and fears and to discover their true inner selves. Combining ancient healing practices such as the Korean art of nunchi (gauging other people’s feelings) with a holistic approach to self-leadership, David developed the Hidden Demons Method™: Discover Your Superpower. With this method he helps clients look within themselves and discover their true inner voice, overcoming their Hidden Demons of anxiety, addiction, and fear of failure. He then sets them on a course to higher performance, fulfillment, and authenticity. This superpower framework has been adopted by individuals, teams, and institutions all over the world and can be applied in any business or start-up. David is a living example of his principle of Daring to Dream. He coaches, teaches mental, and spiritual healing, speaks, motivates, and lives his global mission of helping others to discover their true selves.

Now more than ever we need a guide on how to survive not only with our mental and emotional health intact, but also strengthened, full of resourcefulness and agility, ready to combat our Hidden Demons. Chaos strikes and suddenly we realize we are more fragile than we thought — more exposed, unsafe, less in control. It is easy to invoke resilience. However, resilience is in short supply for many people who cannot quite understand what has hit them, either financially or in the loss of their usual bonds and customs. We need guides on how we can survive not only with our mental and emotional wellbeing intact, but also strengthened, full of resourcefulness and agility.

How to Overcome Fear, Anxiety and Addiction in Uncertain Times

Now more than ever we need a guide on how to survive not only with our mental and emotional health intact, but also strengthened, full of resourcefulness and agility, ready to combat our Hidden Demons.

Throughout this course and its six modules, David shows that the path to rediscovering your life and purpose starts with tiny steps. It begins with getting yourself up off the floor (almost literally in his case). It continues in the days and weeks ahead as you seek to discover what your inner voices are telling you about your Hidden Demons, about your past, about social conventions, about your true talents – and whether you are really listening. More often than not, it’s two steps forward and one step back. Nothing can be achieved in a day, but everyone has a path to their true self and calling. It won’t come from social media. It won’t come from following movements and demagogues. It can come from the simplest of journeys, even imaginatively – to a college campus, to a forest for a walk, to the seaside, or to an unfamiliar city. But first of all you have to get to the starting point. That for many people is the most difficult step.

6 Life Strategies to Discover Your Superpower

Learn the Six Life Strategies that David has developed to keep the mindset, habits and perspective needed to stay centered, focused, healthy, and strong throughout this and future crises.

David’s own life has not always been easy, and he has experienced constant challenges along the way, both as a gay man and as a relapsing alcoholic. However, he transparently shares in every section of his book and course what his “Hidden Demons” were ⎯ and as you follow along, you will discover that the Hidden Demons method™ is not only about fear, addictions and bringing hope and comfort in the darkness. It is so much more; it is a flashlight we all need on our journey to awaken our true greatness.

About David Clive Price, Ph.D.

Born in South London to Welsh parents, David graduated from Cambridge University with a Ph.D. in Renaissance History, won a British Academy fellowship to lecture at Bologna University, and wrote his first books — including his first novel — when living as a farmer-translator in Tuscany. He then moved to Japan and Hong Kong to study Asian cultures while taking up his first professional position at the Economist Intelligence Unit. This was followed by five years as the chief speechwriter for Asia for the HSBC Group during the return of Hong Kong to China. In parallel with his professional career, he continued to develop a passion for the people, religions and cultures of the world, which was reflected in a series of travel books including a study of Buddhism and spiritual beliefs in Asian daily life.

His successful track record in high-level communications for global CEOs, senior leaders, and politicians, which he carried forward in his coaching and writing consultancy on leaving HSBC, gave him a special insight into the challenges of high performance and behavioral change. These insights now inform his work with people of many different backgrounds as they seek to move forward and overcome the stress, burnout, and anxiety they are facing in their personal and professional lives. Speaking English, French, German, Italian and Cantonese, and having lived and worked in numerous countries, Dr. David Clive Price’s multicultural experience informs all his executive coaching, as well as his bestselling books Bamboo Strong with Foreword by Dr.Marshall Goldsmith, and the upcoming Hidden Demons: How to Overcome Fear, Anxiety, and Addiction in Uncertain Times.

Conversation Auto Transcript

The below was created through voice to text recognition. We will strive to edit for accuracy as time permits. It may not be perfect. It is being provided for the hearing impaired to still enjoy the interview.

Unknown Speaker 0:02

Unknown Speaker 0:05
Hello, this is Dennis Velco with OutBüro your website for LGBT professional and entrepreneurial endeavors. You are listening to this week’s episode of our new podcast again where we bring you interesting, lively, and sometimes hopefully entertaining conversations with LGBT entrepreneurs and professionals as well as community leaders spanning the globe. Thank you so much for tuning in. If you are watching this on YouTube, take a few moments and subscribe right now hit that subscribe button as well as the bell that will ensure that you are notified as soon as new episodes come available. Also, you’re able to subscribe. Follow us on in places such as Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify I Heart Radio and about 10 other podcasts so that you can listen to out your voices on the go at the gym, in your car on your way to work doing house chores line on the beaches, so much more tuned in with every episode to out your voices. And today we are very happy to have David Clive Price. He is an author, a mental health specialist, and an all-around guru on building change and leadership into your life. Thank you so much for joining us today. David. Thank you for having me. It’s a pleasure to be here Dennis. Wonderful, wonderful and you are hailing from across the pond as from the UK, correct?

Unknown Speaker 1:46
Yes. From Blighty, as they called it, during the war they called it Blighty, so old Blighty

Unknown Speaker 1:56
the United Kingdom Yes,

Unknown Speaker 1:58
wonderful land. For our viewers and listeners, what area of the UK Are you coming from?

Unknown Speaker 2:03
I’m coming from speaking from London. Oh,

Unknown Speaker 2:07
yes. Wonderful and gorgeous city. So, David, why don’t we kind of jump in to you giving us a bit of your background, which is very rich and diverse. And of course we strive for data an hour, I know you could probably speak for six or more hours with as much as going on, and you’re interesting books. But let’s give a little overview as to your background. And then we’ll lead into kind of a chronological step up from back then through your current projects.

Unknown Speaker 2:43
Sounds great, well, that’d be playing it straight in and say that I help entrepreneurs and LGBTQ professionals to overcome mental health challenges, such as fear, anxiety and addiction, so that they can face their Hidden demons and create a more fulfilled life and abundant business. So I’m the author of bamboo strong cultural intelligence secrets to succeed in the new global economy. and, more recently, the age of pluralism, global intelligence for emerging leaders. Okay, so

Unknown Speaker 3:23
just a little bit. Tell us just a little bit about the the bamboo strong. That’s an interesting title.

Unknown Speaker 3:31
Yeah, well, as the title suggests, it’s to do with, with bending in the wind, if you like, metaphorically, strong, but also resisted, strong, but flexible and agile. And that is the central thesis of the book really, which is based on my own travels and experiences around the world, and particularly in Asia Pacific, but also you In the States and Europe, in South America, with different countries and cultures and backgrounds dealing with people of difference of our differences, in other words,

Unknown Speaker 4:13
and the book

Unknown Speaker 4:16
has as its framework, what’s called the cultural intelligence or CQ model, a four part model to help you relate with, make relationships with, negotiate with, understand the differences of and create emotional intelligence for dealing with people of many backgrounds and cultures, races, generations and creeds. So the book goes on the journey through through my own life experiences by using this CPU model.

Unknown Speaker 4:54
Okay, well that certainly, and all the times but especially in today’s since times here in the United States with racial tensions and so forth. I’m sure that your book would be bamboo strong would be an excellent read for for anyone, but particularly those in whatever leadership positions you might find yourself and whether that’s leadership in an organization via an employer or even a community nonprofit sounds like a really good read, especially now in today’s time.

Unknown Speaker 5:30
Yes, we’re dealing with a great deal of tension around diversity and inclusion. We have maybe a lot of celebration of diversity, as we’ve had this month for gay pride, of course, but not so much necessarily of for inclusion. That’s both in society at large and in companies and corporations, etc. So there is a great The more education needed on the diversity and inclusion front, which this book tends to help with. And the follow up book which is called the age of pluralism, global intelligence for emerging leaders. So, those are in the back the younger generations to again with its own framework for dealing with differences personal, cultural, generational. So that is the background to my sorry, say, multi multiracial multicultural work and at the same time that the kind of qualities and capabilities are required for but working together well with people have many different backgrounds are similar to Those that we need in mental health challenges, which are also. So current and particularly now with the global pandemic, increasingly currents and increasing pandemic of mental health issues of all kinds. So,

Unknown Speaker 7:23
agility, looking within

Unknown Speaker 7:28
discovering inner resources, empathy, emotional intelligence, these are the kind of leadership issues and personal issues that that my books and my frameworks address.

Unknown Speaker 7:44
Okay, and just for audience, I can’t believe we didn’t escape. You’re also if I’m not mistaken. Psychologists

Unknown Speaker 7:52
know, I’m also qualified practitioner, as a psychologist. Now I’m a I’m a PhD. I saw the doctor

Unknown Speaker 7:59
guide Yeah, sorry, my mistake without I don’t have my glasses on to look at my notes.

Unknown Speaker 8:08
Okay, but definitely, definitely interesting topics and what is your PhD in?

Unknown Speaker 8:16
It’s in Renaissance history actually. Wow. So I took a great interest in history at college and at school indeed and then Cambridge I studied the Renaissance and actually Renaissance music and and then disappear from courts and country houses of idioms. Initially sauce. That’s what kicked off my interest and then I had a fellowship on the British Academy to go over to Italy.

Unknown Speaker 8:52

Unknown Speaker 8:53
I studied the northern Italian Renaissance courts. Wow for one, two years. At

Unknown Speaker 9:02
a beautiful period, but I would not want to live in that era. Just, you know, being being obviously also a gay person assuming that I grew up in a gay person then as well. But what’s what’s interesting though, is you know, from your your PhD in history looking at that, you know, and your, your travels in and around you, you live in so many places around the world, in in Asia and Africa, us and so forth. And, you know, being able to take a look at a historical and a cultural perspective because I firmly believe that for leaders and for you as an individual to really look forward, you also have to be able to look in the past and it’s not dwell on the past, but he is acknowledge the past right? So just like if you’re wanting to make changes in your own life, changes in your behaviors, you have to be able to acknowledge the past because if you just ignore it, and you have no no reference for it, when it comes to your own personal issues, then you’re less likely to successfully overcome it because you haven’t dealt with it properly. Yes, and when it comes to a business practice, being able to fully lead and drive new products and services, you know, like new product developments, one of the other guests. Two weeks ago, we talked about how, how important it is to be able to understand for example, the adoption of technologies, new products and services, and to to understand how your new product or service might be adopted today, you know, we might, it might not take us today. 10 years to a gap, for example, as it did from black and white television to colored television. And of course now, we all have basically one sitting here. You know, whatever I grew up, we had the big black huge console with the built in huge fingers. I mean, it was a piece of furniture, right? Yeah. Yeah. And and here we are, and same, you know, with you as well, you know, back back then that television, you had one TV per household, it was a coveted item. Everyone sat around it. Well, now everyone just walks around basically TV on their phone. And and so, you know, that that but being able to look at the past and say, you know, how did cultures or how did individuals consumers or or businesses adapt to this is that is a very strong point in Understanding how you can move forward when there are some gaps. But it definitely relates to your mental. Yes. mental challenges and mental mental opportunities. Yeah, looking,

Unknown Speaker 12:15
looking into your past Yes. or looking into analyzing the stories that you tell yourself. That’s one of the lead strategies in hidden demons, which is, you know, we have, some of them are conscious stories, but many of them are unconscious stories they may lay hidden within us that we’re not entirely aware of, and they may in some curious way still dictate our behavior and perhaps our mental health challenges as well. And so being able to analyze the stories or look within yourself for the stories, I think these are big and that relates more generally on the on the widest Scale to being able to look at our history to be able to look at the history of other cultures and have other people put to putting things in context. And to have more than one perspective in mind at the same time is Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 13:18
so that, you know, I heard I heard some other people perhaps this is try to explain as I understand it, and perhaps it’s explaining exactly what you said in a slightly different way. But I’d love to hear from you if it’s if it’s this similar kind of concept. And through some of the the work that I’ve done, I’ve heard it called, they termed it as your programming, right, having a track seven green, conscious and unconscious memory as programming. And so, you know, for example, if you grew up with a parent who from an early He gave you the signals that you were not worthy you are not going to amount to anything via verbal and or just through their actions through not paying attention to you through not helping you with your schoolwork. And then well, you know, I knew you weren’t going to do well in that. So why bother? Those are approved that’s laying down programming within the brain that says, I’m not worth spending time with. I’m not good at anything. And, and so it can affect how then you see the world view and interpret and interact with the world today.

Unknown Speaker 14:44
Yeah, and of course,

Unknown Speaker 14:46
and so

Unknown Speaker 14:49
there’s ways so does your book in modern demons goes into ways to kind of rewrite those stories or rewrite those programs and you

Unknown Speaker 15:00
goes very much into how we can use those stories to move forward. And of course, for LGBTQ people, often the coming out story is the biggest story of all. And you know, all the what to say the the influx of emotions and secrecy and shame, perhaps that goes before coming out, especially to your family. And these can have reverberations throughout your life unless you’re aware of them. And of course, we can address these demons by becoming aware of them and that means looking at them. sounds simple, but it’s not so simple in reality, Ray’s story stories.

Unknown Speaker 15:56
Yeah. Well because you know, it is such a struggle that is partly due to the underlying reasoning why so many years study after study shows that some of the some of these studies I have written about some of them, I’ve just not gotten around to but they’re out there. So do Google them folks, is you know, study after study shows that LGBT you persons suffer from higher levels or more frequent levels of anxiety, depression, more a higher attempts of suicide. There’s just there’s lots of studies in and around the LGBTQ mental

Unknown Speaker 16:38
mental health. Yeah, and that

Unknown Speaker 16:40
and that I think goes a lot into you know, the rejections the bat because of religion, different religions around the world, who, you know, preach and or whatever they call it. I mean, I know I don’t misprint mistake for other religions and cultures. But you know, I grew up in a very fundamentalist right wing environment myself. To this day. My own father is extremely right wing I can’t even say the word community without him beginning his, quote scripture. So and and I know what that is what part of that is done for me and I’m not going to get into the whole story. I’ve been told I could write books about my youth and teenage years, not off centered around me but it all centered around religion and how it was used in a very negative way. And so so I really get that’s one thing why this really stuck out to me because I personally know how those stories you know, sometimes you’ll find or antidote to flee that LGBT people work, you know, x men You know, x times harder, x times more, it’s like we’re always trying to prove ourselves. So yes,

Unknown Speaker 18:07
exactly. And

Unknown Speaker 18:08
I think is trying to overcome those stories overcome those programming. But then there’s also a string of self destruction. also kind of going into those programs or stories as you call them. And it’s like, well, if I’m not worthy, why bother? Why shouldn’t I just drink myself into a stupor every night? No one cares, right? I mean, that’s what does the programming that gets put into your mind if I’m not worthy enough for my own family from my own parents love and my own father’s acceptance in my own mother’s acceptance, or my own siblings acceptance then then why should I even exist, so who cares I’ll just go out and party every night and have fun because I’m not going to live anyways. Because you know, all those negative kind of stories come in and can lead to a life and Like style of kind of nonchalant, nonchalant pneus yet, yet, what’s interesting is the dualism, I work Work, Work work, you know, I, when I say I, you know, putting this in framework of the listener is, you know, you work, work, work, work work to try to prove yourself, but then also have these destructive behaviors kind of happening simultaneously. So, if I could do a chunk about those,

Unknown Speaker 19:27
yeah, I mean, I maybe had a less less than tolerant family and mother and father. But there probably was something there that particularly for my father that was always kind of in the background, even when I came out and he more or less accepted it and my mother more or less accepted it, etc, etc. But there’s just one little example is the school play. I was playing Hamlet course as a little achiever to at school. So I had to be, you know, handwritten Could school play and as kind of honor that last night and the parents came along and I was quite pleased with myself, I thought it went well. And I went up to the balcony later to see them and expected them to say, David, that was terrific. You know, we really enjoyed it. I know how they got peak, they more or less got up and said, I think it’s time now to go to the car. And I realized that that I didn’t realize then but later on thinking about it, it’s because they thought that confirm certain tendencies. This is before I came out to be fair, you know, confirm certain tendencies. And it’s, you know, it’s, you’re always achieving a lot of people a lot of LGBTQ people continue to achieve achieve achieve throughout their lives and always have a slight sense of they’re not quite good enough, which is what I explore in the book as well. But however much you do, whatever success you have, there’s something not quite right. And I have clients in my local LGBT few Leaders Program now who do talk about this kind of underlying our knees but needing to refine that purpose. And and listening to those stories. As I said earlier, that’s one of the techniques that we use to go deeper down. And then living in the present too. That’s another big strategy that we’re always projecting. unease or dissatisfaction onto the future or will it will it? Will it realize my fears that I had when I was a child or when I was a adolescent boy, young man will the next 10 year will the next five When will something go wrong? Even when we’ve got you know everything going for us will something go wrong?

Unknown Speaker 22:08
Which is

Unknown Speaker 22:12
things that we have to deal with and come out on the other side off.

Unknown Speaker 22:18
Personally I struggled with alcoholism, depression, anxiety, and not constantly I achieved in between, you know, I was speechwriter for one for one of the world’s largest banks. I wrote several travel books about different countries around the world a show etc.

Unknown Speaker 22:42
And I you know, I then

Unknown Speaker 22:46
always rebounding to alcohol

Unknown Speaker 22:50
even though I found my life’s true love, you know, we call so you know, there’s always a sort of underlying, eventually I got through it. And now I’m a reasonably successful entrepreneur life coach, but you know, you have to go through certain phases unfortunately as a gay man or at least be aware of them as an LGBTQ person or at least be aware of them because they are there to trip you up and that’s why the book is called hidden demons how to overcome fear and anxiety and addiction to thrive in uncertain times. Okay,

Unknown Speaker 23:29
well in and this you know, for for those listening is and watching is it’s this is about dealing with your your past and helping to frame that and put perspective around it. You can’t change your past, but you can change the way you view it. That’s your choice. Okay, you can’t, you can’t change what people have said to you and done to you. However, what you can Choose is how you react and respond to that. Because you have, it’s you who control you. Right? Yeah. If someone makes you angry, No, they didn’t. You made yourself angry. You chose to take that reaction and take that response. If someone disrespected, you know, you chose to take it that way. It’s all in your own choices right here has nothing to do with the other person. They’re going on. They’re going about their lives. If you know if you happen to be like me, and even as of two Christmases ago, I mean, it was chaotic. You know, I my father was asking about me moving further south, which was to Fort Lauderdale. Oh, well, why are you moving Being down there. And you know, I’ve learned throughout the years to avoid key words that would set him into his religious tirades. And finally, but he has learned keep pressing Dennis with question and question and question and question until I hear the question or until I hear the the the trigger and then I get to go off and I can justify it and I can be my religious asshole. So, well. Do you know what that particular Christmas was? I stopped reacting. I simply put my finger is from his nose and I said stop. You stop. I’m a 15 year old man and I will not tolerate it any longer. It’s your choice. You will not you will not get the upset, but I will not tolerate it. We chose to say that we are going to respect each other. And that means if you ask me a question you have to be adult enough to leave Listen to the answer. And so that was a big step for me. Yeah. And you know, I’ve always have been the person who pushed and asked questions and questions and yeah, we’ve always as I like to say we’ve always had great pleasantry conversations pleasantries, just talking about the little niceties, gardening, housework and so forth, but when it comes to, and his job and all of that, but really not about life, you know, and, and that’s unfortunate, but you know, you can’t change other people. You have to be able to take your life and control you. Right. Sometimes you have to put boundaries on other people, because they they purposely try to poke and prod, which is what he did for years. Yeah. Kind of childish. But

Unknown Speaker 26:56

Unknown Speaker 26:58
but you’re right you control you I think that’s very right. Yeah. You control you

Unknown Speaker 27:05
laterally. Yes. Yes. You You control you,

Unknown Speaker 27:08
you are not controlled by the outside forces, whatever they are external forces you control you. Absolutely.

Unknown Speaker 27:18
Yeah. And so when when you then utilize books like these, and all of them sound like incredible worthy reads is you’re then able to put those into perspective and put your own history to perspective and say, Alright, and you know, the past is the past you can’t change it. You can’t change the way you reacted and responded based on those triggers that were very ingrained that programming that was very ingrained. But what you can do is you can change the way you react, you know, it’s just like, just like stopping drink, or for pay out. I will share something have you guys here? Okay, so if you’ve even just listened to these, you know, about three years ago, I had a divorce and a 17 year relationship Well, me being me, because I’ve had a two, a NINE and a 17 year relationship. So I’ve been in relationships like 98% of mine and not always good. I would stay in them for all kinds of reasons. convenience. Just, I would stay in bad relationships. But, so just three and a half months after being out of the will, three and a half months of being on my own living on my own. What does dentists do? Next? prep basically next guy that comes along, man, within a month, we’re living together. I mean, this is as my friends like to say. That is yours, that is u haul packing. lesbians. You know, as soon as you start dating someone, you’re like, boom, boom, boom, you know, you’re picking out the chick next trying to patterns. like omg. Well, this this fella smokes cigarettes. I’ve never smoked cigarettes in my life. outside of here, there’s, you know, one or two, you know, kind of a thing now and then like once a year kind of thing. And this guy smokes, regularly, constantly, almost every day says he’s going to stop. But, you know, as we started to go out, he would, you know, pass me a cigarette, and say, Okay, and then another and then another. Then as I started to stay at his house, he began to leave two or three a day for me. Then it became five or six, then it became half a pack. Within within about three month period, I went from not smoking basically my entire life to smoke today, and it took me almost two years. And finally, one day, I just had to say, Stop. What the f are you doing? Hmm. And and to be honest, it’s turned off other guys that I was interested in. Yeah. And it’s like, if for nothing else I need to stop because of that, right. But it was that little bit of, I guess a little bit of social programming that happened in a very short time period. So when you now is

Unknown Speaker 30:29
a habit,

Unknown Speaker 30:31
yes. which create triggers. And this also when you’re a child, and when you’re a young person and you’re growing up, also the experiences that you have have chemical triggers. Yes. And those Exactly. And those become you become addicted to those chemical triggers in the brain.

Unknown Speaker 30:54
Yes, but you can and unlearn them. Yes. It’s a big thing. But that’s what the book talks about a lot. Just like fear, anxiety, depression, they are kind of addiction. They’re definitely a habit. And just like those habits can can be unlearned. They can be you can learn new habits that take that place, not immediately. Not, you know, I got, I got a box, the one out of the box, kind of a quick solution to that. Not immediately, but one step at a time. In my case, one day at a time, I was throwing myself off my bedroom, balcony at high up in Hong Kong until the airport expressway I was about to

Unknown Speaker 31:48
you know, and but somehow I came back from that thinking of my my loved one, I mean my other half

Unknown Speaker 31:58
but the habits Gone to this extent that I was that I was on the anti suicide. The habit also was taking one step back, taking two step back, thinking of Simon three steps back, getting to the sofa, holding on to the sofa clutching x, then finding the phone, then finding the Samaritan number from directory inquiries, then getting that then them talking to me. Then by eight o’clock in the morning, this was like four in the in the morning by eight o’clock in the morning, I knew I could get down in the elevator down to the lobby, and then call up a friend and then go over to a friend’s house for two days. But the steps back from those black holes in our lives are so important, and everything can be replaced with a new habit. Yes, new and new habits of sobriety. For example,

Unknown Speaker 33:00
of absence of fear of not projecting

Unknown Speaker 33:07
nervousness or anxiety onto the future, with living one day at a time, etc, etc. So, and happiness

Unknown Speaker 33:17
and this new habits taking time is is, you know getting Where’s kind of going would be the that temporary smoking thing because it’s just like I learned that that new habit over about a two month period it took about two months also for me to once I finally made the decision, it took about that same amount of time to end. And, you know, those long held ingrained beliefs. As David was saying, you know, they just don’t go away immediately because they are long held ingrained. Yeah, stories slash programs and they take a conscious effort To adjust. And so so you offer Well, a mental well being life coaching. Yes. And so do you then help your clients make these adjustments?

Unknown Speaker 34:16
Yes, that’s part of the programs Very much so. And not all LGBTQ clients but I do have a special program for LGBTQ professionals. But yeah, I help them with the these kinds of issues. It was a six, six module six parts program really to overcome your hidden demons to lead a more fulfilled and abundant life, the most satisfying with free of unease and curious unease that we LGBTQ people have until he’s, in my case well into my second adulthood or boyhood, or whatever I’m in at the moment. Right?

Unknown Speaker 35:11
Well, and you know, it’s no disrespect to, you know, any mental health care practitioner, you know, out out there. But you know, when it comes to authenticity, knowing that someone has gone through something in my personal opinion, makes them more relatable

Unknown Speaker 35:33
and more

Unknown Speaker 35:36
you know, again, no, no disrespect and maybe maybe someone in the comments will say, No, that’s absolutely not right. You don’t have to have been a you know, addicted to drugs or alcohol in order to be effective counselor. No, no, I you know, I guess not. But I had several people in my my my life who have gone through rehabilitation from both. And the the over arching or the commonality in the several people that I know. They, again, no please don’t hate on me whatever and comments and all of that, but there, they had a better success. And they opened up more when they knew that the that their counselor had gone through something that they like, was it always the exact same thing? You know, like one was addicted to methamphetamines, unfortunately, which is very rampant in the LGBT community, especially the gaming community. And but the person his counselor was an a, you know, a recovered alcoholic, that made him just feel more like Oh, you’ve you’ve gone through something you’ve overcome something so therefore you get me. And it was, maybe it was just from this one person that a friend has done for you. She was a total like Christine person hadn’t, you know, perfect life perfect. Everything had hadn’t had anything. And, and I don’t know if maybe she conveyed to too much of that to my friend, but it was just they were not he was not opening up to her. And I think it’s because he felt like she was just had couldn’t relate, you know, like clinically, you know, one thing is to be clinically textbook. The other thing is to have life experiences and wisdom. Does that make sense? And I’m open to people having comments and so forth. If you do, folks, just whatever platform you’re on, put comments down below what your thoughts are on that. What are your thoughts on that game?

Unknown Speaker 37:54
Well, I think as a coach in general, as a life coach Pat’s particular You need to trust you need to build that relationship of trust. And sometimes it’s more difficult if you’re only working together on a high powered professional level or as the achieving coach and the you know yet to achieve. Coaching is something to do with trust and particularly in these areas of mental health. But that is really, really important. relatable. I think a lot of coaches try to be relatable and the coaching relationship is based on on being relatable and integrity. But sometimes it’s the trust factor is missing the full trust and being, as you say, able to to relate to someone who been there and done that in many ways and has a lot of experiences to tell. which gives me You know, I’m, I’m privileged to do this work and but, and honored to, to help people because I’ve also been incredibly lucky to have so many experiences all over the world to have a rich and diverse background, I’m very lucky if I’m able to say that now beforehand, if when I was drinking, I probably there was another one, or I did not flatter my back in my Tokyo flat for the 12th time, you know, Night after night, waking up at six in the morning in your own body, etc. You know, and and that’s after writing a couple of books, and that’s after being well respected. I wrote my first novel setting in New York again, otherwise it happens called Alphabet City. I’ve had a little bit of success that the gay writer on white wrote a great review of it and endorsed it, etc. But then I went back to Italy and then things began to fall to pieces again and then I’m back on the old vino from I had a little farm in Italy. After I finished my fellowship together my first partner we bought a little farm, but two or three, four years there, I wrote my first books and and was a wine and olive farmer which I loved. But also titling the wine. You know, as a wind farmer, you’re allowed to triple A wine at five in the morning, right with a garlic bread and tomato. So while you’re doing your vines, so yeah,

OutBüro Voices Interview Scott Vedder LGBT Entrpreneir Resume Career Advisor Human Resources Professional Military Veteran to Cilian Work Employment Consultant Business Owner Video Interview Podcast

LGBT Professionals: Job Hunt With a FABULOUS Resume (2020)

Scott Vedder is an LGBT entrepreneur focusing as a professional career coach helping to craft resumes that stand out effectively communicating the skills and past success that align with a candidate’s ideal target jobs. Job search tips for writing a great resume for all including military veterans transitioning to civilian careers, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) professionals seeking a career change and new job. Maximize your resume to improve your job search chances.

  • 01:50 Introducing Scott Vedder
  • 02:50 Most resumes are awful so he wrote a book to help
  • 03:30 Special edition for US military veterans
  • 07:20 US Veterans are some of the best job candidates in the workforce
  • 08:15 Signs of a great resume to quantify what makes you a great fit for the job
  • 10:30 Your LinkedIn profile should not be a literal copy of your resume. Think of it as a marketing brochure. Make it POP.
  • 12:30 Tips to create an amazing resume that intrigues and WOW’s like a movie trailer.
  • 14:00 Networking and relationship building should be ongoing
  • 18:00 You will NEVER hear a recruiter say, “The candidate made it too easy to see why they are a great fit for this job”
  • 18:30 The biggest mistake you can make on a resume is writing it like a job description.
  • 20:45 Lose the jargon. Keep the language simple, concise and typically no acronyms unless super commonly known
  • 28:45 Should you be OUT as LGBTQ on your resume?
  • 33:00 Researching employers on their LGBTQ inclusiveness – it is darn difficult
  • 37:00 Join HTTP://WWW.OUTBURO.COM add your professional profile, rate/review your current and recent past employers so that your ratings provide feedback to employers and are available for future candidates
  • 42:00 Ways to further research a potential employer’s LGBTQA friendliness

Scott Vedder conducted over 5,000 interviews as a recruiter at a Fortune 100 company. He quickly discovered that a good résumé is truly hard to come by and that most applicants don’t have a clue what recruiters want to see. Scott’s book “Signs of a Great Résumé” is a #1 best-selling book on and has been endorsed as “Recommended Reading” by the Central Florida Employment Council (CFEC) and the Central Florida Jobs Initiative. Scott is often quoted as an expert resource and is a regular contributor to a number of international blogs, magazines, syndicated newspaper columns, and web sites. Scott has also been interviewed on dozens of live television and radio news programs. While on speaking engagement’s Scott was often asked by military veterans how to best translate their military experience to a civilian job market. This led to the adapted version of his best selling book to focus on military veterans. His focus on and strong involvement with veteran groups led him to be personally invited to the White House twice under two administrations to be recognized by the Society for Human Resource Management, Women Unlimited and the Metropolitan Business Association, LGBT Chamber of Commerce for his contributions and for helping job seekers around the world.

Scott Vedder on OutBüro >

Signs of a Great Resume – Book

Scott Vedder Signs of a Great Resume LGBT Entrpreneir Resume Career Advisor Human Resources Professional Military Veteran to Cilian Work Employment Consultant

Scott’s #1 best-selling book, Signs of a Great Résumé, will teach you how to write a résumé that speaks for itself. This lighthearted book presents an effective approach to the serious business of writing résumés. Scott’s style is humorous, easy to understand and fun to read …if he does say so himself!

Scott has developed a simple way to make your résumé speak for itself, using [email protected]#$%, the Signs of a Great Résumé. Each sign showcases your experience and skills and highlights your greatest achievements and contributions.

  • ! Any part of your experience that was “amazing!”
  • @ Defining points, places, dates, and things in your career
  • # Numbers that quantify and prove your past successes
  • $ The dollar value of your contributions
  • % Figures that easily show growth and results

Whether you’re a recent grad or a CEO, a garbage collector or an astrophysicist, you can use Signs of a Great Résumé to make your experience shine… and recruiters love to see some nice, shiny experience on a résumé!

This lighthearted book presents an effective approach to the serious business of writing résumés. Scott’s style is humorous, easy to understand and fun to read …if he does say so himself! In this book you’ll learn how to customize your résumé for each job using [email protected]#$%, how to write a great cover letter and more.

Signs of a Great Resume – Veterans Edition

Scott Vedder Signs of a Great Resume Veterans Edition LGBT Entrpreneir Resume Career Advisor Human Resources Professional Military Veteran to Cilian Work Employment Consultant

Veterans, transitioning service members and military families can get great new jobs in the civilian sector with Signs of a Great Résumé: Veterans Edition. Tell civilian recruiters, “I am a P.A.T.R.I.O.T.” Learn to highlight the military values and characteristics that make you a great candidate for the civilian workplace. Taking the above principle and further applying the veteran-specific skills referenced as PATRIOT to stand out and land that new civilian job.

Scott Vedder LGBT Entrpreneir Resume Career Advisor Human Resources Professional Military Veteran to Cilian Work Employment Consultant at US White House
OutBüro Voices Interview Steve Yacovelli LGBT Entrepreneur Producer Director Writer Vim Media Professional Startup Business Owner Video Interview Podcast

Steve Yacovelli – The Gay Leadership Dude, LGBT Entrepreneur

In this episode of OutBüro Voices featuring LGBTQ professionals, entrepreneurs, and community leaders from around the world, host Dennis Velco chats with Steve Yacovelli: Developing LGBT Leaders with The Gay Leadership Dude.

Steve Yacovelli Top Dog Learning Group The Leadership Dude LGBT Entrepreneur Gay Professional community business owner diversity inclusion trainging OuBuro

As an out, LGBT entrepreneur business owner Steve Yacovelli has dealt with many facets of growing and sustaining a business. Focusing on what he is passionate about he drives education and growth for individuals and organizations in an authoritative yet approachable way. Leveraging his 25+ years of experience as a leadership, change management, and diversity and inclusion consultant to cultivating our collective leadership awesomeness. His book, “Pride Leadership,” is one of the first to focus on developing leadership talent specifically for the LGBTQ+ Community and its Allies. It’s time to channel those qualities into being a more effective and consciously inclusive leader within the workplace and beyond.

Steve on OutBüro

rning Group The Leadership Dude LGBT Entrepreneur Gay Professional community business owner diversity inclusion trainging OuBuro

About The Gay Leadership Dude

He realized that there was no focus on specifically developing LGBTQ+ Leaders within the corporate world beyond some a patchwork of effort and not necessarily a cohesive focus or movement.

So, “The Gay Leadership Dude” was born. It’s his way to give back to the LGBTQ+ Community: to start a movement to grow LGBTQ+ Leaders to be even more effective, in a consistent, thoughtful, and mindful manner. He is especially focused on those up-and-coming Leaders within the broader movement for equality and fairness for all LGBTQ+ people and well beyond. 

Pride Leadership: Strategies for the LGBTQ+ Leader to be the King or Queen of their Jungle

Critically-acclaimed and award-winning book for LGBTQ+ Leaders and Allies to help expand their leadership skills to better explore what’s working and reflect on what could be improved upon. “Pride Leadership” provides the strategies and tools to build a network of leadership support. It’s the start of an “LGBTQ+ Leadership Movement” to cultivate and grow leadership competencies.

The L.I.O.N.S. Program – A Leaders Immersive Opportunity to Nurture Strength

Click here or the image to the right to access and apply your special $500 off.

OutBuro Voices Interview Matthew French Awesomely Authentic Career Coach Educational College Prep Diversity Inclusion Consulting LGBT Professionals Gay Entrepreneurs LGBTQ Students

A 6-month learning experience that leverages online learning tools along with face-to-face virtual classroom sessions and self-paced learning. The program takes Leaders on a deep- dive into 6 related areas of competency
✦ Having Authenticity
✦ Leadership Courage
✦ Leveraging Empathy
✦ Effective Communication
✦ Building Relationships
✦ Shaping Culture

Over the course of the 6-month program, participants have the opportunity to explore each topic in a way that deepens their understanding and application of the leadership skills, apply the skill, and hone its effectiveness in their workplace.

We Help Humans Succeed

TopDog Learning Group provides guidance and solutions in leadership & organizational development, change management, diversity and inclusion consulting, and workplace learning strategies.

To connect with Steve find him on OutBüro here.

Join me and Steve on OutBüro, the LGBTQ professional and entrepreneur online community network for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, allies and our employers who support LGBTQ welcoming workplace equality focused benefits, policies, and business practices.

Would you like to be featured like this? Contact the host Dennis Velco.

Conversation Transcript

The below was created through voice to text recognition. We will strive to edit for accuracy as time permits. It may not be perfect. It is being provided for the hearing impaired to still enjoy the interview.

Unknown Speaker 0:01
Hello, this is Dennis Velco with OutBüro that is your LGBT community online where you belong and your voice matters. Welcome to the OutBüro Voices series where we are interviewing and I guess when I say we that’s a royal sense, right? Because I’m an entrepreneur of one. So, huh, it’s me whenever I’m interviewing LGBT entrepreneurs, professionals and community leaders, and thank you so much for tuning in. We are you might be viewing this on the OutBüro website or on YouTube. If you are on YouTube, please take a moment right now and hit that subscribe button, as well as hit the bell that bell is going to ensure that when we are producing there I go again, when I we, geez, I can’t you know, it’s all about perception is reality when you’re in business, it’s grow, grow, grow. So I’ll continue Whenever we produce additional and new content, it’s going to ensure that it gets you alerted of it so that you come back because I’m trying to produce as much of these as possible to get the visibility out for our LGBT community, so that our young folks and everyone out there can have great mentors to look to when they’re considering their business. And one of those is Steven. Steven is the leadership dude. And welcome to the show. Thank you, Dennis. It’s great to be here. Awesome. Thank you so much for being here. And I get deep. I knew for a fact because we’ve chatted before that I didn’t have to do one of these for you because I knew Stephens already gonna have his little corner of his office all set up and branded, so wonderful. Thank you. So, Steven, tell us a little bit about yourself. And maybe just a little brief overview of your background.

Unknown Speaker 2:08
Sure. I’m accent doctor see doc LA, owner and principal top dog learning group, also known as the gay leadership dude. at top dog, we focus on learning and development, leadership, change management and diversity consulting. And that kind of leads to what I’ve been doing pretty much my whole career has been in something in the shape of leadership and diversity and inclusion. So whether that has been internal to the Walt Disney Company, I was an IBM er for a while. I was a professor for like a hot minute, as in the full time academia realm, but really started my own business about 12 years ago full time and that’s really the the space that I’ve been playing in ever since.

Unknown Speaker 2:46
Okay, well, awesome. I’ve been a little all over the board and you’re in Orlando, Florida. So there is the Disney reasoning. Correct. Huge employer. Central Florida. Yes.

Unknown Speaker 3:02
The largest private employer in Central Florida. And it might even be the state Actually, I would think so.

Unknown Speaker 3:11
Yeah. So did your leadership kind of

Unknown Speaker 3:18
did you do HR and leadership in Disney? Was that one of your functions there?

Unknown Speaker 3:24
Yeah, I actually it’s kind of funny story. I worked at Disney twice. So after undergrad I grew up in the Philadelphia area. I went to a small state school in Pennsylvania, and studied public relations and speech communications. And so my dream was to be a PR person at Disney. So after undergrad I packed up my little Ford Escort I think I had at the time and just drove right down. I 95 to Orlando without a job. And I got one I worked in the central reservations office, which were the kids at home. That’s pre internet. It’s actually pre windows. We were a DOS based kind of thing and I actually had a job Yeah, I remember I had a job on the 407 w Disney line, which was the main place to get any sort of information about your family fun time at Walt Disney World and everything. And these are true calls, we would get me and 499 other folks sitting in a call center. And people would call from the park because it was payphones pre pre cell phone. And they’d be like, Where’s the nearest bathroom? And you actually had a load database, you could say, oh, you’re at this, this phone, turn to your left and you’ll see a door and like we had to direct them that way because people are you kind of lose their mind without holiday. Or and I swear, this is a real story to a question we get the people will call up and say What time’s the three o’clock parade. And you know, and we no lie, and we had our we type in data and we get the official official script. And the official script was always 245. So one you did make the person feel kind of silly, and then second actually got them in line or in their spot earlier so that they could kind of do the park so I did that for like three months was a horrible experience for me. Just wasn’t a very good fit, but I ended up coming back to Disney several years later at a more professional capacity I was a leadership and organizational consultant for Disney Cruise Line so I worked short side in the in the Orlando office the celebration office but I would travel on the at the time the two ships quite often so it was a kind of a sweet gig. It’s a sweet gig I gotta

Unknown Speaker 5:21
say. Good and you know getting as you mentioned right out of college you know, one getting that job at Disney, I mean nowadays that’s it well, with COVID it’s really hard. But will for a long time one of my aunts worked in HR at nice, the Disney and you know, not an easy place to get on board. Yeah. And you know, so many people from the area you know, looking for, you know, the jobs they’re one little tidbit one little thing we have in common I too. worked at a call center for a while. It was 1991. And my ex of my 20s and I, we met in the military in Germany. He was still in, we knew each other from you know, going out in Frankfurt, and in Germany, and we were both in the military when we first met. And then I got out of the military and helped form the very first technology calling center for fifth quarter military, so it was where all the US military from from Frankfurt and South Germany would call in when their printers were broken. Whatever, but that was just three of us. That actually man that that call center, it was when we returned back to where he lived in Columbus, Ohio. And for those that don’t know, Columbus, Ohio is quite the fashion capital. So with Lane Bryant, Abercrombie, Fitch, Victoria’s Secret, all of that headquartered there, and he and I actually work to the call center at Victoria’s Secret. know at that time I was 22 or 23 years old, taking phone calls from ladies and men helping them place their Victoria’s Secret catalog orders and helping, you know, taking the talking them into the new bra that was

Unknown Speaker 7:37
Yeah, that was pretty interesting. So,

Unknown Speaker 7:40
you know, I lived in Columbus as well.

Unknown Speaker 7:42
Oh, yeah.

Unknown Speaker 7:44
Yeah, I went to Ohio State from my master’s degree.

Unknown Speaker 7:47
Oh, wonderful. I went to I state as well.

Unknown Speaker 7:54
I wasn’t in this. I got to tell people. I wasn’t into the football.

Unknown Speaker 8:00
But but but you know it’s it is a boy columbus ohio and their their football I mean it is it is truly a see that yeah if you’ve never experienced that kind of just almost power that that the the football culture in columbus ohio has it is some

Unknown Speaker 8:24
even the gay guy even the gay guys have tailgating party

Unknown Speaker 8:29
parties we go to if we didn’t have tickets we go to the local gay bar and Union Station and you know watch the game there

Unknown Speaker 8:37
absolutely absolutely. So cool beans So tell us a little bit more about the the leadership dude I know you and I have talked about your your book a little bit but help our viewers and listeners get a good sense.

Unknown Speaker 8:57
Yeah, so I’m about Two years ago, I was at my first mg LCC conference, the National Gay Lesbian Chamber conference, fantastic group. And I was kind of sorting my business cards before a session and there was a woman next to me doing something very similar. And we just struck up a conversation and she’s like, what do you do? I’m like, oh, in consulting, blah, blah, blah. And I said, How about you? She’s like, well, I’m a publisher. I say, you know what, there’s a book in my head that needs to come out, you know, I’ve written you know, I published my dissertation and which I think my my mom is the one who bought that, but that’s fine. And then I did an ebook called overcoming poopy elearning, which was self published in my doctorates in instructional technology and distance education. And I had mixed mixed positive and negative vibes for doing this self publishing thing. It was it wasn’t a great experience for me. But I’m talking to Jen grace, publisher preppers price. And I’m like, you know what, let’s chat. And so flash forward. My book price leadership came out, which I happen to always keep on the desk. Um, and so it was it was a really great explain And I was going to write kind of a generic leadership book. And the more when I first started down the path in organizing some of my thoughts and, and I was doing a lot of advocacy work in the LGBTQ community, with our peeps, and I’m kind of starting to observe some of the leaders around doing, you know, different volunteer organizations and things. And then my inner Carrie Bradshaw kicked in, like, I couldn’t help but wonder, and I couldn’t help but wonder, you know, I’m watching these awesome queer leaders do their thing. And I’m wondering, is there something about our shared collective experience that does make us a little bit more reticent for the leadership competencies that I’ve seen really work out in in the general field as a leadership consultant, and that’s kind of what I write about in private leadership. And so I found what I thought were the top six you always have my swag, a little mousepad but these are the the top six competencies I talked about pride leadership, Authenticity, courage, empathy, communication, relationships, and then shaping culture. And that’s the the framework of the book. But it’s through the lens of being a member of our community.

Unknown Speaker 11:04
Okay. And so,

Unknown Speaker 11:10
you know, again, as we’ve talked in the past, but you know, for our listeners this, this is a, you also have an accompany workbook.

Unknown Speaker 11:20
I do Where’s it? It’s right here. You’re right. So so the idea behind the books and the fancy book workbook, which is also out there, but the whole goal of the book wasn’t the book. I mean, if there’s anyone here watching or listening, you know, authors aren’t typically unless you’re like Oprah caliber out there to make a gob of money. You’re there to kind of get your story out. And my story is really to help start an LGBTQ pollution movement and focus our collective energy in that arena. And so my endgame has always been a training experience. You know, as an educator, that’s kind of what I do as a company, but I really wanted to create that. So a couple steps back was the book. Then the workbook came And now we have an eight week online leadership program that’s really starting to take off. You know, oddly enough, it was in the midst pre global pandemic, but it’s always online. It was always modular approach. And so now we’re getting folks are like, hey, I want to use this time to develop myself. And so that’s where where the end game was, which I’m so excited for.

Unknown Speaker 12:19
Awesome. Yes. So I’m kind of just thinking, you know, out loud here is so, so looking at leadership that’s really from a very open perspective, correct? No, it’s so so this is could be for anyone. Someone in college looking to a to learn leadership skills, someone in their career, who’s looking to get to that next level in their career, or maybe even someone who’s, who’s a volunteer. Yeah. And looking to hone your leadership skills as it relates to perhaps serving in their local community.

Unknown Speaker 13:06
Exactly. One of the things I do in the very beginning of leadership is I define what is a leader. And to me a leader is anyone who has influenced within the workplace, that could be that entry level person who’s kind of influencing the people around you, that could be all the way up to the C suite. and everyone in between I, I’ve worked with clients who define leader as leader of people. And I think that’s kind of shenanigans, because you have that indirect influence over folks if you don’t have that direct. And that’s actually even a more tricky leadership position to be in, because you don’t have the formal authority. So you have to leverage different skills and tools in order to help folks move in the direction with which you’re trying to get them to move. And so I think it’s, I think it’s silly when I have I tried to dissuade some clients to say no, let’s let’s think about this a little bit more broadly. And just like you said, Dennis, it could be a whole bunch of folks really want to focus on being better within their leadership skills.

Unknown Speaker 13:57
Yeah, it’s, I find You know, when it you know, when you’re looking at leadership, when you’re looking at business, when you’re looking at your relationships, when you’re looking at almost every facet of your life, you’re always, always and you’re typically in a position of attempting to influence that might even just be Friday night and outside of the COVID era, trying to influence your significant other on where you’re going to go to eat that night. Yep, yep. Okay. So, and within, you know, and so there’s lots of different examples even within a friend, Friendship Circle. So, you know, a leadership skills are definitely not only for the work environment number one, and definitely not only for once you have achieve a quote unquote leadership title that now you have people report to you, it’s like, well, you definitely need the assistance then. But, but really, it’s to your point in self development and just saying, you know, as striving to be a better person, and that, again, could be in real in your own personal relationships. It could be in your work, and when and again, I’ll get back to, you know, community service, working with, you know, local nonprofits of any sort. So it’s, it’s very pertinent to, you know, all kind of a good portion of your life if you recognize it, and I think that’s the key point is being open to recognizing it because so many people kind of go through the motions of their days in there. weeks and not even realize that they are marketing themselves and they are positioning themselves effectively or poorly as a leader.

Unknown Speaker 16:12
Yeah, one of the things I talked about quite early on in the book is no, and this is part of the the lions program is the name of the eight week program, which stands for leaders immersive opportunity to nurture strengths, because, you know, former Disney, I had to have some cute, cute little acronym, you know, that goes with the branding lion. Right? But, but in the AV program, as well as in the workbook in the book, one of the very first things that we talked about is, is what’s called what I call drone perspective, which is having that self awareness, you kind of like you imagine, you get your drone, this drone zooms up. And it’s kind of looking at the situation that you’re in, in the moment. You know, in LA Times, this is referred to as like mindfulness, mindful meditation, that kind of stuff. But being able to get out of your own head is the concept. And that takes a lot of skill and have that self awareness to say, ooh, you know what, I maybe am Not super good at this XYZ competency or the situation and having that that thoughtfulness to do something about it. And that’s, that’s, to me one of the biggest leadership opportunities is to be humble enough to know where I’m really awesome but we’re not so awesome and do something about it to get more awesome in that respect.

Unknown Speaker 17:23
Absolutely. And when a and you know, in the entrepreneur space where that comes in is no no your strengths, know your weaknesses and as soon as possible as soon as income allows, hire other people to do the jobs that that you frickin suck at. Doing. Absolutely. But, but yeah, so in the

Unknown Speaker 17:55
so in the space, definitely

Unknown Speaker 17:59
taking Taking that moment and kind of realizing that, you know, sometimes we have, we’re forced into situations and or being a bootstrap startup where we have to do everything. And, you know, it’s something that I always strive to do personally is, you know, I, I have a vision for where I want to go. And you know, I’ve had technical issues I’ve had so many different things go on, just within out, you’re alone. But one of my, one of my traits and what I’m trying to bring to the table to the community is my own personal development. And that is every single day, I learned something. Excellent. And whether that’s listening to podcasts on entrepreneurial ism, I absolutely adore Jay Abraham. is an absolutely eloquent, masterful individual. If you don’t know that that person, folks out there, look him up just an amazing person, not LGBT.

Unknown Speaker 19:16
We still like some straight friends. I’m sorry. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 19:18
And you’re probably occasionally going to have to Google some words to use. I mean, I like to use some, you know, fun vocabulary, you know, here and there. But, Holy moly, occasionally, he just dropped some words. It’s like, even if you’re like, what?

Unknown Speaker 19:36
Just mean?

Unknown Speaker 19:38
Very, very neat. So, but it’s also like right now doing these, doing these, you know, that’s been on my radar. I’m a product manager. I used to be a software product manager. And so I I’m what’s called a scrum master.

Unknown Speaker 19:56
I just learned what that meant, like one of my participants in the lions program is a programmer and she was sharing a story about her Scrum Master. I’m like, why is that and so I just learned that last week.

Unknown Speaker 20:08
Okay, it’s a it could sound highs I’m a scrum and the scrum master. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 20:16
Well I for those that that aren’t aware of google it but

Unknown Speaker 20:23
you know to me it’s you manage to a lot of post it notes and journal I have a huge amount of documents and on my wall for set for quite a while had been you know, content, user content, community content and so forth. And you know, whether that has been doing interviews like this, but a technical issues and being overwhelmed and finally got over that so that employee ORS can sign up. So employees out there you may go to our bureau at o ut Be an anonymous leader and reach your current or recent past employer but part of the the getting back to you know kind of doing this was all right you know I had some some things I had to get over it just like you know your hope everyone’s career right you whatever those hurdles are in your career and in your job and so forth but but it’s part of being a good leader is about being persistent and consistent and and striving for becoming better. And so you know, like right now doing these, you know, YouTube videos, it’s every day. I there are certain people now that I pay attention to and I’m seeing the results and now Now granted how does that relate is like When you it’s about self education, and about, you know, taking responsibility for yourself in educating yourself and then what you do with that. So kind of walk us through in that self education for your book and your workbook. Maybe some of the highlights of that. You brought up the cue card, which I love. Oh, there’s no

Unknown Speaker 22:25
it’s actually my it’s a mousepad. Like I’ve a sweatshop. Look. I’ve got mugs. Hey, so if

Unknown Speaker 22:32
you leave that with your customers or your clients,

Unknown Speaker 22:37
graduates, graduates of

Unknown Speaker 22:38
the program, graduates god, yes. So. So what kind of what kind of folks now? Have you seen or, you know, what have you seen people use? Use your tools, use your information, and kind of get out of it and take away from it and you know, has there been Any kind of success stories that you’re able to share? And sorry, because I asked up on the slides.

Unknown Speaker 23:06
Oh, that’s great. That’s great. So one of my participants, and she’s, she’s still in the program, but she actually was an early adopter of the concept. So she’s with a large pharmaceutical company, and she’s actually an ally, but she’s within, in the LGBT employee resource group, an ally in that, but really wanted to develop her own skills. She’s, I think, a project manager for the company. And so, you know, I’ll use my thing, you know, she’s, she’s thinking about what, what, out of these six competencies, she really wants to focus her energy first. So one of the one of the tools, of course, is is self analysis, like, you know, where, where am I at when it comes to these particular competencies or skills. And so for her, she said, You know what, I’m going to focus on the communication part. So that’s kind of the fourth module down there, little green green strip. And so when she said communication, and she’s like, specifically, it’s providing feedback. And so one of the things I talked about in the book, you know, there’s a simple model, there’s a lot of models out there for feedback. There’s one I’ve used in the leadership programs that I’ve taught, and it has pretty easy success. It’s called ECC. You know, you share with people the example the effect, and then either what you want to change or continue, which is where the C come in. So, you know, Dennis, when you lead our interdepartmental meeting the other day, there’s the example. You You missed one of the agenda items, and therefore, we now have to loop back with the other department and kind of get some stuff. So that’s the effect. So it next time, can you make sure that you get all the items on that or that agenda so that we kind of don’t have to do double work? That’s the change. Or hey, Dennis, when you lead the meeting the other day with with the whole interdepartmental. Folks, you did such a great job you got through the agenda real fast. We attendance left people ask some great questions. So that’s the effect so can keep up the good work. That was really great. So there’s the continue to be good behavior. simple model when I’ve taught for a while there’s other ones out there, and she’s like that one alone. really helped me relate to my team just to kind of organize the feedback and thoughts. And then I talked about the example of providing feedback, it should be balanced. You know, you don’t want to work with some organizations where someone comes up to you and says, Hey, I have feedback. And I was like, What is it, you know, because feedback is a bad word. And so feedback, feedback should be a neutral or a good word, if it’s being utilized in a balanced sort of way in your organizational culture, whether that be you or your clients or big group. So that’s a kind of one example. Another one that one of the participants. So in the in the program, you get three, one on one executive coaching sessions, kind of at the beginning, middle, and then two months after that you kind of leave the program, and during one of the conversations the other week, or for fairly early on, you know, we go through the authenticity chapter fairly early. And and the one of the activities in that is to look at your own personal value system. And some folks have done that in their careers, some have not. So there’s a quick activity in the workbook to actually Find out what are your personal top five values? And one of my participants said, You know, I never did that before, I never really thought about what are the things that are so important to me that I value. And then you put that lens through, what are you doing at work. So if you’re in a job that never touches your personal values, you’re gonna have a problem at some point. Or if all the work that you’re doing doesn’t feed those values in some way, shape, or form, that’s going to feel icky. And it’s you stop and have a conversation with yourself and kind of get in that drone and take a look around. And he said, you know, thank you for that, because it just made me put things a little bit more perspective on where I want to go both in my current job, but also outside of of my job and make sure that those values are being, you know, using Steve’s term fed. And that was another good example of some of the tips that that people are actually applying stuff that I’ve had, like, yeah, it’s working. So that’s kind of exciting to see.

Unknown Speaker 26:54
Oh, Barry Barry. And so um, so you say that Meeting originally about the book was, if I’m not mistaken about two years ago,

Unknown Speaker 27:08
correct? Yeah. Um, so this this, this August will have been two years. So, after that meeting I got about a month later, I started kind of formulating the book. And I knew I wanted it to come out pun intended. As a gay leadership book. I wanted it to come out June in pride month of 2019. But to make that deadline, I had to have a final man or a first draft manuscript to my publisher by like, New Year’s Day of 2019. And so I said, from basically Labor Day, until Christmas, just doing nothing but writing obviously trying to make a living with clients and things like that, but you’re really trying to kind of get through organizing my thoughts, you know, figuring it out, you know, initially I whittled it down to six, I had 29, or something like that competencies that I was trying to figure out where the white ones and then My thinking partner slash sister, Wes, come in who does similar work to me. And so that was kind of that that process and then you go through all the iterations, the editing. And that took us until, until the very end of April, to kind of get through all those drafts. And my book is 356 pages. So it’s a bit of a lot, much bigger than I expected, I kind of was targeting 200. So yay, for both Steve. But you get through that process. And of course, it’s the things like, you know, picking the the cover and writing the back and getting the testimonials inside and all that other stuff that you never really think about. You just say, I got to write, but no, there’s all the other stuff that goes along with it. And then, of course, the marketing piece of it. And so it was, it was a really fascinating experience. It was I will say, Dennis, that writing the book was easier than marketing the book. That’s the biggest challenge of and you know, just because you think I’m going to write it and then you put on Amazon and Yay, everyone’s gonna love it and you got to tell people it’s there and so I That’s always a continuous opportunity. And then I knew the audio book had to happen. So actually, I just lost the audiobook like two weeks ago. Yeah, so so that’s, that’s out there as well. And I put put the link under my name, you can actually get a free book. We’re doing a free plus shipping during this COVID time. So there’s a top dog click for slash free ship. And you’ll you’ll get to a website and you just have to pay for shipping and handling. So there’s that but the audio book was really, really weird into that experience. I don’t know if you’ve ever, ever thought about like, how does someone make an audiobook and I’d never thought about it, you know, just kind of grabbed him on on Audible, whatever. Right? But so I, I was working with another producer. So my publisher doesn’t do audiobooks, but she has a referral. So I went to this woman, and she’s like, Okay, the first question who’s reading it? I’m like, I don’t know who is reading my book. Well, that’s up to you. We talked through that and she’s like, you can do it. All you can do it all professional, you do hybrid. And then the more I thought about it, I’m like, Okay, I have a whole chapter on authenticity. So if I’m not going to be the one reading it that’s kind of not very authentic of me. It’s, I figured, okay, it’s gonna be me. Well, in the age of COVID-19, internet traffic is crazy high, of course, because everyone’s at home. Right? Well, I got on the very first call. So it was myself and this, this audio producer, and and basically, we log into this super secret software that he has, and we just do the recording there. Well, the internet traffic was so high that and audio files are very sensitive, I guess, to traffic and things they can drop. So so we kept dropping words. And we tried it a couple times. I’m sitting literally under my router. And he’s like, I don’t know what to tell you, Steve. You know, you might have to just do this on your own and I have some experience doing like radio voiceovers and stuff back in college, you know, W ix q news at my millersville University. And so I set up by computer and then we’re like, okay, where’s the quietest place in my house? Of course it’s it’s in our our walking closet in the bedroom. So I’m literally reading my gay leadership book in the closet during COVID-19 for 65 plus hours and that’s kind of the story of coming out of the closet again, just to kind of make my audiobook happen.

Unknown Speaker 31:18
Yeah, yeah, yes. Yeah, it’s it’s not it’s not as easy as it sounds. I’ve actually gone through professional voiceover training myself. Nice. And yeah, if you if you search me on SoundCloud, I’ve done a few commercials and some different things. And yes, I can go into kind of that voice.

Unknown Speaker 31:48

Unknown Speaker 31:50

Unknown Speaker 31:52
as I as I told family members, because I’ve had people that since I was very young, I’ve had people go Oh, my gosh, your voices, you know And I feel I use that now and I definitely use it when I’m on the phone. Yeah, because yes, when you are voice overing when you are reading a book like that, it’s very important to pay attention to the Annunciation. The pauses, your plural motives, which and your

Unknown Speaker 32:27
T’s, your keys and your

Unknown Speaker 32:30

Unknown Speaker 32:31
It’s, it’s very technical. And, you know, yeah, people don’t always think about that. And then yes, your, the quality of your sound is and crazily, you know, the closet and the end are folks out there and you know, the reason is is because the your blank walls, and so for sound bounces off of that, and so you need a lot of software. Or you need a treated space say that your, your, your, your,

Unknown Speaker 33:06
your good mic which I’m not using I’m using

Unknown Speaker 33:10
a good mic will pick up that and you’ll get reverb

Unknown Speaker 33:15
is very,

Unknown Speaker 33:16
very funny though. It was funny though, because when we’re

Unknown Speaker 33:21
in there and we’re doing the test for the with the audio guy, so you can say okay, yeah, you’re good to go. He’s like, there’s just something you know, because obviously there’s no clothes on the ceiling. So I took my dog’s dog bed and kind of looped it over my head and he’s like, that’s perfect. It’s just I have a picture of it. I just look ridiculous with the food or the all the clothes everywhere a dog bed over my head, my microphone and I’m like, yeah, and of course there’s no air conditioning in the closet. So and it’s Florida. It’s just like, oh my god.

Unknown Speaker 33:53
But it worked. It worked.

Unknown Speaker 33:54
You’re a hot mess in the CLI was a hot mess in the closet.

Unknown Speaker 34:00
You know, you really should put a photo of that up on your website

Unknown Speaker 34:04
or write a blog about it. I did.

Unknown Speaker 34:07
Yeah, I did do a social media post, but I probably need to revive that again. It’s

Unknown Speaker 34:12
Yeah. to, to funny. Funny. So, very neat, very neat. So just, you know, how are you so let’s get kind of on the business side of things. You know, you’re, well, thanks for coming on, did you This is partly marketing, your, your, your book and your, your coaching sessions. So how, as a business owner, you know, you did touch on that that’s, you know, as an author, as a coach, you’re, you are a business. And so talk about maybe for just a few moments, some of the opportunities, the challenges, opportunities and ways in which you have kind of overcome that getting the word out because you Every business, you know, is always is has that on their mind? How do they get the word out about their, their business? And so give us a little bit of insight about some of the opportunities and things that you’ve been doing?

Unknown Speaker 35:15
Yes. So COVID-19 has really hit a blow to so many of us entrepreneurs and small business owners. For me, one of the main revenue streams was stand up training at clients, well, that’s not happening anymore. And so in in, in March, we launched so we I’ve three big fortune 500 that we do all of their leadership training, and I say we because it’s actually not the Royal we actually have consultants who

Unknown Speaker 35:41
work for me as

Unknown Speaker 35:43
I do some of it, but I had them do most of that kind of stuff. So I can do more the business development and product development. And so all three clients came back and said, Nope, we’re not doing anything anymore. So I lost a massive six figures of revenue coming in. So it’s like rats. What We do now. And I have a fairly upbeat glass kind of full glass full half full kind of guy. And so it’s like, Okay, so what do we do next? And, you know, I knew the lions program was was just starting. So I’m like, okay, there’s that we can focus some energy there. And then, you know, a new deal. And the audiobook was another product. So I’m like, Okay, well, I’ll focus my energy there. But I’m lucky enough to have a an infrastructure to pivot and do virtual things. You know, we’re doing zoom. Right now, I’ve been using zoom for three years for online trainings from a distance learning thing from executive coaching session. So that wasn’t hard for me. A couple years ago, I created a webinar on how to do webinars for a client, and I dusted that off. And I’ve been doing that kind of for, for folks. And just really trying to to leverage the technology that I’m comfortable with and see how I can take that. So I’m actually seeing working with some folks because they’re not comfortable in this space, and this isn’t going to go away. So They’re like, Steve, can you help me like think about what’s behind me and the lighting and and how I use this medium? Like I would have done it in a face to face? Of course, that’s one things we do. So I’ve been seeing that and how am I getting the word out there. It’s social media. It’s growing my email list, which I’m not very good at, I’ll be the first to acknowledge in skills skill, the book came out, I never had to market I mean, top dog was always word of mouth, I get a couple clients, and they tell two friends and they tell two friends and you know, etc, etc. And that was great. But once I knew the book was coming out, now, I’m not going up to B, I’m going B to C. And so now I’m going right to the consumer and to do that I need to market and so that’s, you know, been the social media thing, growing my email list. And then really just just trying to partner with folks to get the word out for different things I have for the lines program. I have an affiliate marketing program that’s slowly kind of getting out there where you know, I give some money back to somebody who refers a new new participant. And then and then also doing things like this A lot of podcasts, I’ve been doing a lot of free webinars in the age of code, because you know, Intel, people get totally saturated. I have 25 years plus of content on my hard drive that I can dust off and kind of share. And some of that is things that are like I used to teach, or I do teach a class on being resilient in times of change. Well, this is a very appropriate time for that. So I dusted that off. And I’ve been doing that as a webinar and, and I actually have been selling them as virtual keynotes. for clients wanting to do those. I have one tomorrow for a group in London. And so they’re there, end of day, my beginning of and they are going through a lot of changes, like so many folks, I’m like, hey, let me talk walk you through the three strategies to help you be more resilient times of change, like perfect. So those types of things are pretty cool. I did a virtual keynote yesterday for another pharmaceutical company for their pride group, because they wanted the gay leadership dude to talk pride things because all their pride stuff went away from what it was. And they’re like, well, let’s do virtual stuff. And so that’s been kind of nice to still engage, especially with our community. is in during pride month but but while we’re all social distancing as well.

Unknown Speaker 39:06
Okay, well awesome. That sounds like you have turned it into pivoted and continuing to be active and busy so that’s awesome. Yeah, well cool well jeez it’s been great catching up with you and so much appreciate you taking time out of your sounds like very busy week, which is a good thing. And we’ll make sure that we have all the show notes and links to the leadership dude. Here on the show on the on the episode page, which again you all of you will find act out that is O ut You will click up on the top it says podcast might be changing that the episodes we’ll see but at some point because of the The videos now, but also, all of these shows get turned into podcasts. And you’re able to find out Bureau and outro Voices Podcast on Apple podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Google, and a total currently have 13 podcast apps and growing. So make sure that you subscribe to our bureau on whichever platform that you desire most. And coming up here on the screen in just a moment. Be sure to click the subscribe to be notified again of when new shows come up and hit that bell to ensure that you are notified. Thank you so much for tuning in. This is Dennis belko without euro and Steve the leadership, dude, hot dog consulting. Thank you so much. Thanks, Dennis. And thanks for all that you

OutBüro Voices Interview Veronica Kirin LGBT Entrepreneur Professional Tech Startup Business Coach Owner Video Interview Podcast

Veronica Kirin – LGBT Entrepreneur, Author, and Anthropologist

In this episode of OutBüro Voices featuring LGBTQ professionals, entrepreneurs, and community leaders from around the world, host Dennis Velco chats with Veronica Kirin, an and award-winning serial LGBT entrepreneur, anthropologist, and author.

Veronica is the creator of the Three Pillars of Business Scaling™ and is an Entrepreneur Coach certified by the National LGBT Chamber of Commerce. Her first book, Stories of Elders, documents the tech revolution through the stories of those that lived it. Her latest work, Stories of COVID™, is documenting the pandemic in real-time for a book for future generations.

Veronica on OutBüro. >>

Here is the Audacious Entrepreneur Academy, where entrepreneurs can find the meditations I mentioned:

The Stories of Elders Podcast can be found here:

And my current work, Stories of COVID™:

Entrepreneur Coaching

Veronica Kirin Entrepreneur Coach LGBT Startup Business Owner Professional Leader Lesbian Community

Veronica Kirin has 15+ years of experience as a leader and implementer. Her career started with two terms in the National Civilian Community Corps, with whom she deployed across the nation performing disaster relief and humanitarian aid. She has since founded nonprofits, startups, and small businesses. She is regularly engaged as a Coach to advise early- to mid-stage businesses to scale their reach. She not only specializes in building new businesses from the ground up but also restructuring internal business systems for growth-oriented operational efficiency. Veronica has commanded all facets of brand strategy, business operations, web management, B2C and B2B marketing, business scaling, and entrepreneurial financial literacy, to place her as one of the top, sought-after coaches for growth-stage businesses. She speaks at conferences and events worldwide to shift the mindset of business leaders and give them the tools they need to scale.

Stories of Elders

Stories of Elders Author Veronic Kirin Examins techology changes over decades by those who have lived to see and be impacted by it - LGBT Entrepreneur Lesbian business owner

America’s Greatest Generation has witnessed the onset of an incredible evolution of technology and social progress. From mere entertainment to life-changing advances, technology has changed the way we live, work, and identify. Sadly, with each passing year, fewer of members of the Greatest Generation are still alive to share their wisdom as the final generation to grow up before the digital revolution.

Stories of Elders preserves the wisdom, thoughts, humor, knowledge, and advice of the people who make up one of America’s finest generations, including the Silent Generation. These fascinating people not only experienced rapid social and technological advancements but also devastation in their daily world. Major historical events like World War I, the Dust Bowl, the Great Depression, and World War II shaped their youth and molded their lives.

Author and cultural anthropologist Veronica Kirin traveled more than 11,000 miles across the United States in 2015 to interview the last living members of the Greatest Generation, each one born before 1945. Stories of Elders is the culmination of her years of work to capture these uniquely personal stories in the form of a book that will store their perspective for generations to come.

The Greatest Generation saw the routine use of airplanes, cars, microwave ovens, telephones, radios, and the internet come to fruition in their lifetimes. Many spent portions of their lives without electricity, using kerosene lamps for light. Their childhoods were simple, relying on outdoors games and imagination for their fun. How they went to school, pursued their careers, and raised their kids was radically different compared to today.

New generations, more than ever, look to the exciting future for guidance instead of the stories of our last living elders. By chronicling more than 8,000 years of life lived during the most transitional time in American history, Stories of Elders offers old-fashioned insight no other book can.

To connect with Veronica find her on OutBüro here.

Join me and Veronica on OutBüro, the LGBTQ professional and entrepreneur online community network for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, allies and our employers who support LGBTQ welcoming workplace equality focused benefits, policies, and business practices. Would you like to be featured like this? Contact the host Dennis Velco.

Conversation Transcript

The below was created through voice to text recognition. We will strive to edit for accuracy as time permits. It may not be perfect. It is being provided for the hearing impaired to still enjoy the interview.

Unknown Speaker 0:01
Hello, good afternoon. Good morning and good evening. This is Dennis Velco with OutBüro and you are tuning in to OutBüro voices, where we have interesting conversations with LGBT entrepreneurs, business leaders throughout all different kinds of sectors, community leaders and LGBT professionals and what I like to say an LGBTQ professional is everything from a dog walker to an astronaut. Wouldn’t that be an interesting conversation? And today we are joined with Veronica Kirin. She is an author, a podcaster, and an entrepreneur, and an entrepreneur coach. So she has lots to talk about. So we’re going to dive right in. Welcome to the show. Thank you so much for joining us today.

Unknown Speaker 0:54
Thanks for having me, Dennis.

Unknown Speaker 0:56
Oh, well, absolutely. kind of see Some of your postings on LinkedIn, and but you had some interesting content that you were sharing, which caught my attention. But first again, once I started actually listening to some of your podcasts, I realized, wow, you know you have a lot of things that you have done. Could you kind of get our audience a little bit up to speed about some of your background and some of the things that you’ve accomplished, really interested in that book? And then, and then we’ll kind of transition into what you’re doing now. Okay. Yeah, sounds

Unknown Speaker 1:38
good. So, my career actually started working with the National civilian community Corps, which is a branch of America that deploys across the United States for disaster relief and humanitarian aid. That’s where I cut my chops for leadership, came back, and founded my own nonprofit organization. And that was the beginning of my entrepreneurial journey in 2010. So this was far better. Before, you know the internet hadn’t quite grown up to the place that it is now, coaches weren’t really thinking. And so I was figuring all this out on my own. Soon after that, I was laid off from my day job. And so I started a tech company, which is the company that I ultimately scaled and sold in 2018. And that was a really interesting experience because I was a little bit of a baby queer at that point, I wasn’t so far out, but I was definitely out of my comfort zone being not just a woman in tech, which is already a minority, but then a queer woman in tech in a very conservative city. And so there is this whole conflict of imposter syndrome happening for me, not just I’m growing a business and figuring all this out for the first time. But also, I’m supposed to look a certain way and act a certain way according to these guys who are, you know, just wearing suits every day and I don’t understand, you know, do I belong in this room or not? So it was a whole journey of discovery. I had a couple of other small businesses in between. But ultimately the tech company, which is called Green cup digital still alive today still going strong, so run by a woman. I guess that’s the one that Yeah, really like, that’s me that’s my baby win right there. And so I sold it because I found that

Unknown Speaker 3:18
I really wanted to do more. As you said, I have a book out actually have a couple of books out and a couple more on the.

Unknown Speaker 3:25
But my first book stories of elders

Unknown Speaker 3:29
took a lot of time and energy. And I was finding that to drive 12,000 miles across America to interview strangers in the greatest generation. So, people that like, there are already age and language barriers. And to then put it all together and publish it was just too much to do alongside running a tech company. And so that’s why I chose to sell it. And I published that book six months later. And so since then, I’ve been

Unknown Speaker 3:56
so wait, hey, wait, wait, Paul. So so you sold a technology company to do to finish your book.

Unknown Speaker 4:06
That is a book and to coach others. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 4:09
boy now that is Spoken like a true entrepreneur, risk-taker, right? Oh, yeah.

Unknown Speaker 4:17
Things are going great at the tech company. I had it scale to 10 hours a week, I had a team of four, we were beyond six figures. It was really comfortable. But I, I’m not really one that gravitates towards comfort. I’m one that wants to constantly evolve and grow. And I have the book on the way and that that’s really what I wanted to be doing. that mattered a lot to me.

Unknown Speaker 4:43
And as I said, I had a lot of hard won

Unknown Speaker 4:45
lessons from that initial seven years of being in business and I wanted to share those lessons with others and help them grow so that they didn’t have the struggle that I have. So ultimately, that’s how I ended up being An entrepreneur coach, which is what I do today.

Unknown Speaker 5:03
Okay, awesome. I will definitely be diving into that. So. So if I, if I recall correctly to, you have that book finish, but you had a lot of additional stories that, you know, just couldn’t quite make, you know, the cover to cover the cut. So tell everyone what you’re doing with that now.

Unknown Speaker 5:29
Yeah, so the premise of the book was to document the paradigm shift brought about by the high tech revolution. And that’s why I was interviewing people who are so much older than me because they lived it and they saw from the first radio coming into their homes all the way to I have a smartphone now. So they could really encapsulate this experience and document it. But think about you know, 80 years of life, the stories that these people have to share not just about technology, but about the world. And about family and travel and just, it’s so difficult to even begin to, to put it all in one box. And so the book really is focused around technology. And then the other stories like virtual STL, coming home from the Eastern Front in Germany and seeing the Statue of Liberty for the first time in years after, you know, fighting a war and liberating concentration camp and that feeling of like, I’m home now and like being greeted by the Statue of Liberty, like I was crying when he’s telling that story is nothing to do with technology, but it has to be recorded and told. So just as you said, I started a podcast, it’s one of my earliest podcasts, to share some of the pieces that didn’t necessarily fit in the book. And also to give readers the opportunity to hear them tell the stories in their own voice because there are accents and there are inflections that you’re just not going to get from a written Text.

Unknown Speaker 7:00
Okay, so these are recordings that you had the actual people awesome so yeah,

Unknown Speaker 7:06
so some of them are rough because they wanted to be in a restaurant and you have to honor where somebody feels safe to do an interview like this. So it’s not like perfect podcast audio it’s I was in their home whereas in a restaurant or wherever, but yeah, that’s them in their own words.

Unknown Speaker 7:23
Oh, awesome. And, you know, I like I really like that that resonates with me as far as the the your focus was on it. Pardon, he was on technology, but you have all of these life stories and life events and then around that, and you know, at the end of the at the end of every day, you know, the technology that we utilize, you know, even this, it has to, it does whether it wants to or you want it to or not It has if it within The larger, larger construct and framework of our lives and bad technology is or unsuccessful. Technology is ones that do not because they tried to force themselves in an inopportune time or an opportunity or an inflexible way. And so those are the technologies that did not survive any link times. I think that’s very fascinating that Yeah, I got to see that and you’re able to portray that in your, in your, your podcast now. And what what what a wonderful way to give your readers you know, that that next level of interaction, next level of content, where they can go and experience that deeper and richer, you know, connection. So, yeah,

Unknown Speaker 8:50
yeah, because it’s so hard to convey, like, the level of soul-changing experience that I had spending so much time with these people. So if I could give that a, just a snippet of that back, and I was also quite proud to get just a few queer stories into the book again, that wasn’t the point of the book, but there was a grandfather who said, My grandson came out as gay and it changed me completely because I was not going to disown my own grandson, my own family. And I interviewed a woman who was a Playboy bunny way back in the day when playboy bunnies weren’t in magazines, they’re in restaurants doing the serving, and she had like to do all the like posture training and everything. And then she came out midlife and became an English professor. And she said, she said she moved to be a professor at the University and to become a lesbian, which is like my favorite phrasing. Um, so there’s, there’s these little that’s not the point of the book. And so I didn’t get a lot of it, but there are just these little pieces of our history in there as well.

Unknown Speaker 9:55
Oh, very, very cool. Very Yeah. And so You then did a small podcast for it, or at least a temporary podcast, it seemed like it was like from point A to point B. But it was a long point. It was like you were traveling across the country. Yeah. And kind of fitting in podcasting. When you could tell us just a small bit about that. And then we’ll transition.

Unknown Speaker 10:24
Yeah, well, so that was actually for the book tour for my book stories of elders. So I was, as you said, traveling from point A to point B instead of a circle this time because I wanted to terminate the travel in Los Angeles and then stay there. But there are also regions of the United States that I hadn’t been able to return to. So it was really amazing to have interviewed people four years ago, and then see them again and present them with their copies of the book and have them help sign so every book, signing But I have where, where there are people they interviewed, I asked them to sign the books with me because their stories are like, I put it together, but they’re the ones that are in the book. So I have everyone sign in the index next to their names, and I have five master copies of every one. So it’s just full of signatures. So that was really amazing. And so the podcast, as you said, was to kind of create a roadmap for others who are curious, like, how do you build a book tour? And what is it like to drive across the country alone, and you’re in the middle of moving and revisiting some memories from the original research tour because I drove to meet these people in the first place. And so yeah, it was, as you said, it was just a temporary kind of tidbit of life as an entrepreneur doing wild things

Unknown Speaker 11:53
to find

Unknown Speaker 11:55
So, so let’s dive into your entrepreneur. neuro coaching. And you know, I kind of understand your why, which is important for every entrepreneur to understand and be able to communicate and yours was so that others wouldn’t have to go through some of the struggles that you did, can’t you? There must have been some impetus or you know, some sparks or some things that that, you know, hey, as an entrepreneur myself, this isn’t my first rodeo. And I’m a, I’m a bootstrap startup of one I do everything. And every day I move forward on some things. But then every now and then there’s like, you know, Oh, my gosh, I did this update to this over here and why is it affecting that over there? They have nothing to do with each other. Ah, you know, just technology and trying to fit, you know, 20 pieces together to work all as one right? That’s challenging you If it’s your full-time job right away, and yeah, there’s lots of different struggles, you know, I could talk about but you know, this, this isn’t about me, but I get dug about in each of the businesses that I have found, you know, kind of some of the sparks the reasonings and the challenges that I had, and ultimately what came to its closure. So we heard a little bit about your technology business. But, you know, outside of it just being more that you wanted to focus on the book, were there any significant challenges in that business that that really kind of made you go, you know, what, I had this huge challenge. I overcame it. And was there something like that, that said, you know, that that created that, that initial spark to be an entrepreneur coach?

Unknown Speaker 13:52
Yeah. Well, so there is part of it.

Unknown Speaker 13:56
There are two ways to start a business there’s to start a business out of

Unknown Speaker 14:00
panic and just to have a business. And there’s a certain business because you had a passion. I never actually had a passion for tech. I have a knack for tech. I’m very good at Tech. But my degrees in anthropology, that’s why I’m writing these books because I am an anthropologist, I’m all about people. So my knack was target marketing, understanding other cultures for my clients, and really serving my clients in a way that was rooted in the heart rather than here’s a bunch of languages that you don’t understand. And we’re going to build you a website or we’re going to market you online and you don’t, you know, here’s some lingo and you’re done.

Unknown Speaker 14:42
And so that’s why that company was so successful, but my

Unknown Speaker 14:46
passion has always been around people. And so it was looking back through my life and noticing that I was the one that people were coming to for help. And then even more recently, as I was having success with the tech company, I was having a lot of people come to me And ask for help with scaling and business systems. I fought so hard for that knowledge. I was the one who was scared, wondering why I was like the rich and the poor and the rich and the poor and the rich and the poor. Trying to figure out why I was working 70 hours a week, even though I had started a business for more freedom. And so there’s this like herding cats. I’m on the hamster wheel, I can’t seem to get out of it. And so I fought and fought and fought where’s the knowledge? Because I know this is not the case for everyone. What am I missing? I was missing scaling, and the the the pieces of the business that need to be in place in order to scale and so I basically crawled myself out of the chasm that I had created, right. I had done it to myself and being at the top of the mountain finally and having what I had originally envisioned, felt so good, and I knew that There were other businesses like me, business leaders that wanted more freedom. But there was this rhetoric around. If you’re not hustling hard every day, then you’re not an entrepreneur. When in fact, if you’re hustling hard every day, there’s probably something broken in your business. And that’s okay. Because you have a business blind spot. We’ll figure it out. But it’s a symptom, not a success. And

Unknown Speaker 16:25
so, absolutely, yeah, I like to say, define success on your terms. Yes. Not based on someone else. Because, you know, if you live in New York City, whenever I was a consultant there, my clients would travel an hour and a half to get into work. They would be in by about 830 to nine o’clock in the morning. They wouldn’t leave till about nine o’clock at night. Yeah, many of them would have small apartments, you know, Pete to tears in the city, and then they would only go home on the weekends in or because if not, it’d be another hour and a half commute back. They wouldn’t get home into their bed until the earliest 11 pm. And, you know, a lot of entrepreneurs Yeah, you do work the hours, right? You because you are passionate. And if no one else if you can’t yet afford to hire people to delegate, that’s one of my key little things that you know, sometimes I love to listen to podcasts myself, that’s one of the ways I found you in addition to the group. And you know, whenever people I hear podcast podcasters, you know, in the business sector who say, Oh, well you know, in order to do this in this you need to delegate. Well, let’s back up first, okay, first before you can delegate unless you have a business partner who is in it sweat equity. You need, you need funding, you know from either an investor or loans or you know some level of capital or you need to have had traction on you know, with clients to have the income to pay that person that I go to delegate me even if you’re doing you know offshore tell you to know remote assistance I forget the exact name teller virtual assistant, thank you, virtual assistant, to the Philippines for six to $7 an hour Okay, you still have to have that money, you know, or you’re living on credit card debt which is very dangerous. So so i think you know, getting the foundation down into your, into your systems and so forth is you know, first foremost the strategy but the Find what success is for you. You know, if you’re if you’re happy working 12 hours a day, then you know, Buddha bless go forth, right. And by you know, for those of us one of my I always like to round out the shows How do you balance your life because again for me the it is what how you define it and to if you’re not taking care of yourself if you’re not, you know, eating properly going, going out seeing friends going for bike rides, going to the beach and going hiking in the mountains taking your significant other you know, at least out on a significant date night every other week at minimum and I mean something special not just ordering in pizza and sitting in Netflix guys and gals you know making that time for your, your hosts out so that you can show up. Because if you don’t have if you’re not taking care of yourself and those in your immediate realm of influence and love, then you’re not going to have the energy or the emotional bank account with everyone around you. You because when the shit hits the fan And you really do need to work those couple of 16 hour days. You don’t want your significant other threatening to divorce because they’ve been nagging you for six months already, you know?

Unknown Speaker 20:12
Yeah. end of the rope situation. Yeah. And you as you know from our previous chats, I’m massive

Unknown Speaker 20:21
Crusader for self-care and work-life balance, partly from my own hardships. I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from doing disaster relief for the US government. I can’t allow my stress to spike that high a bar is literally everything falls apart. And so self-care is one of the cornerstones of my business and one of the cornerstones I work on with my clients. And the same with work-life balance. So I mean, I think we’re jumping the gun a little about what my lifestyle looks like. But if it’s 6 pm, I’m turning off the computer. I’m not scheduling anything later than that. It’s over. That’s the day I usually cut out a little earlier than that because I pay a lot of attention to my attention or to my energy and make sure that it’s really, really good because I have to be at my best for my clients. And so my mornings are very important to me and then it just cut off. It’s done the works done no more.

Unknown Speaker 21:20
And yeah, that’s, that’s very, very, very important.

Unknown Speaker 21:23
Gotcha. So so what are some of the either biggest challenges you’re seeing with your, with your clients or just that you see, in general, that, you know, the lid, kind of take it in a phase depending on your, your client base, as well. But, you know, there’s definitely different phases to just launching a business and growing a business. And, you know, pardon me, we you know, some of the podcasts I hear some, some really big players. And so, you know, they’re talking about going, you know, scaling from the 1 million to the 5 million to the 10 million to the 50 to 100 million. But, you know, for, you know, when you look at the vast majority of businesses in, you know, just here in the United States, and this show, and the website is global, but, you know, I can only speak to what I know and stats that I know, so sorry, every everyone in the UK and Canada and Pakistan and Singapore and so forth, you’ll have to put it for you. But, you know, here in the US, you know, the vast majority of businesses are small businesses, probably hovering in you know, $200,000 a year range, you know, right at coffee shops and so forth. But so with the businesses that you focused on, you know, what are you seeing kind of the those For the starting up. And then, you know, and that scaling, you know, what are some of the issues that you’re seeing and maybe some key tips that you might be able to provide?

Unknown Speaker 23:12
Yeah. So there’s actually one issue that arises for every single entrepreneur across the board no matter what stage you are in, and no matter how many times you’ve done it before, and that’s imposter syndrome, especially for our community. But just in general, it doesn’t matter how many times you’ve done it, I have clients who are on their third business, and they still come to me because they’re looking for how to how to start or how to scale they’ve done it before, but because it suddenly looks different, they now aren’t sure that they have the skill sets to make it happen. And the same with scaling. So you have you’ve built the business, you’re in your third round of funding, you’re getting into new rooms, though, with the new levels of people who have bigger pockets, all of a sudden imposter syndrome kicks in, not because you aren’t successful already. But because now you’re in a room that you’ve never been in before. And your fear flight or fight mechanism starts to go off and say, I’m not supposed to be here.

Unknown Speaker 24:14
Ray Ray. Oh, I think we kind of got through the, through the story. But just in case I know what imposter syndrome is. But just in case, some of our viewers and listeners are like, whoa, wait, what’s that? I’m no, I’m no imposter. Could you give just a brief explanation in layman’s terms?

Unknown Speaker 24:34
Yeah, it’s the feeling that somehow you don’t belong in the room, or that you can’t do the thing that you’ve been asked to do. So a great example for me is that I won a really big contract at my tech company, and it was something that I had never done before. They asked me to build a type of website that was much more complex than I’d ever done before. And I said yes, because a lot of Logically I know, okay, I know how to research. I know where my resources are, I can figure it out. But the imposter syndrome starts rearing its head and saying, What if I fail? I can’t do this. Why did I take this contract on? What am I going to do? Because they’re going to eat my business for lunch. And then you start to have that cascade effect. And if it’s let’s,

Unknown Speaker 25:22
if it’s gone unchecked, imposter syndrome can turn into self-sabotage. And then that’s where we see entrepreneurs truly holding themselves back from success.

Unknown Speaker 25:31
Gotcha. A good way to explain it. They’re very good way and, you know, sometimes too, it’s, it’s, anytime you’re doing something a little bit new, a little bit, you know, maybe based on the foundation, like your example of, you know, you’ve had that experience and it’s based on something that you’ve done, but it’s just that little itty bitty stretch. That you know, you think to Do but it’s that little itty bitty stretch. And, you know, sometimes even what I found in, in trading with people is, you know, sometimes people just really have almost an affliction of imposter syndrome. And, you know, some of those, you know, a career coach could help. But you know, sometimes I’ll just also say, you know, things that are possibly even happened. If you have if you’re constantly having that doubt, I’m not good enough. I’m not worth one. There are great meditations that you can do. Look upon those also, perhaps even thinking about seeing a therapist help you get to the root cause of those internal feelings of not feeling adequate. You know, for an example, I was, I think, three I’ll say one of my exes grew up in an alcoholic, abusive parent home, verbally abusive, and constantly told he and his sister that they would never amount to anything and you know, you’re worthless, you won’t amount to anything that’s and then go off and beat the mother literally in front of them. And that left a very long-lasting impression to where he has has a very difficult time to change and believing in himself. And I think that’s a very important thing to, you know, to get to the root of, you know, especially if you are looking to be an entrepreneur is it’s okay to go out and ask for help. What have you and know that a life coach or business coach is not a therapist. They’re not licensed typically therapists although they might have some tips and suggestions on ways in which to deal with those underlying issues. But what we’re talking about is the imposter syndrome is when, you know, it’s not because of that kind of underlying, you know, issues come away from the best words you’re on the fly. But it’s really about as you stated, it’s like I’m stretching myself. And it’s a, it’s a uncomfort zone. And that fear and flight as you pointed, it kind of comes in and makes you feel uncomfortable. And, and it could be stretching yourself and things. You’ve done a little bit of pepper in the past, or it could be doing things that are completely new. Like out Bureau, there’s never been a website that allowed, that has allowed employees to rate their employers in the like fashion. And there’s never been an employer branding platform focusing on LGBT and So, every day, I just have to say, for me my imposter syndrome, the way I deal with it is, yo, bitch, no one else has done it. So, therefore, I am getting over it. It’s here, let’s move forward. I mean, it’s just a, you got to just feel the fear and do it anyway. And there’s one little thing for those of you that are feeling a little bit of imposter syndrome I’ve shared on another show with Larry, who is a dream coach, get to your next dream. And Sergeant Harry Tucker in the military, he told me to at the age of 18, was one of the most fundamental, amazing things anyone has ever said to me, and he said, never asked me permission for anything. Because if you do, the answer will always be no. Tell me what you are going to do. And I will tell you if I have a problem with it, and what a great way to live. You know You just take charge, go for it, feel the fear, and do it anyway because you know what the next person that that company is interviewing to possibly do that project that you’re bidding on, won’t have that level of confidence.

Unknown Speaker 30:16
That’s true. And so I want to make sure that we say that imposter syndrome is in fact normal. And it’s going to happen throughout your life because it’s a part of your fear flight or fight mechanism. So this is going to keep happening. And it’s okay that it keeps happening, to know your triggers, and to work on them so that you shore them up, so it’s less likely to happen, but you can recognize it when it does. And I also offer several meditations that you can find on my website in order to work through imposter syndrome. So I’m happy to share those as well. And yeah, it’s not something that you have to fight against. It’s something that you can learn from And then grow with.

Unknown Speaker 31:01
Absolutely. And there’s anyone who is a parent. I’m an adoptive parent, I have an 1110 and a half year old. And when you get real when a parent gets real with you, even your own parents, if they get real with you, they’re going to tell you, they don’t have a clue what they’re doing. They’re making it up as they go. And many, many parents feel imposter syndrome. They although those words aren’t what are used, necessarily, and I’ll see

Unknown Speaker 31:35

Unknown Speaker 31:36
but but it’s the exact same thing. Yep.

Unknown Speaker 31:39
Exactly. Oh, just know that, that it’s not just in business. It’s in life in general. And you know, you could even feel imposter syndrome in relationships, just your personal relationship, like, you know, wow, he’s, he’s interested in me, okay, you know, or you know, whatever that might be but you know, you It can be throughout, in many perilous covery

Unknown Speaker 32:03
the fear of being discovered as an imposter, even though you are who you are.

Unknown Speaker 32:09
Right, right. And so what a great way What a great thing to attempt to understand. And, and, and focus on conduct, I mean, controlling to the best of your ability understanding. So it doesn’t affect you negatively because it affects so much of your life not just being an entrepreneur. Right. So definitely, we’ll have links to your website and those great meditations that you offered there. And so what is your typical timeframe or is there a typical timeframe or typical process that you do with your entrepreneurial clients?

Unknown Speaker 32:51
Yeah, so I typically work with clients for six months, although some of them have been with me for over a year and some of them will create Rate something a little bit more custom, because what they need is a little boost into the next level. And that’s it. But typically when you’re talking about scaling, and not just the nuts and bolts of scaling in the business, the consulting part, but also the entrepreneurial life coaching, as they’re up-leveling, and so they’re probably experiencing some sort of limiting belief and imposter syndrome. So that takes time and takes work. And so I found that the sweet spot is six months in order to get all the things in place in order for that scaling process to happen, and also develop the personal skills and abilities in order to make it happen with an entrepreneur as well. But from there, it’s quite custom because every entrepreneur is different. Some entrepreneurs are just starting their business. And so I’m working with them to start scaled, while others are in the process of buying their first warehouse. And so they’re scaling to a point where they have employees and they’re taking it to the next level on a national wholesale level. So everyone’s kind of in a different place. I have my trademark three pillars of business scaling and that’s what I use with my clients as the guidepost. But what happens within that is all very custom to the client.

Unknown Speaker 34:15
Okay, well wonderful, wonderful. Well if you do you Is it all individual? The guy do you have like group discussions or you know, like a mastermind learning session? Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 34:33
I do I have a mastermind is called the disruptive mastermind. And we get together on Mondays it’s actually a free mastermind I asked you know, if you if you’re gonna stick around and come quite often, there’s a link to buy me a coffee because I am offering it’s kind of just in support of my entrepreneurial community on Facebook. So if you want to join us were in the disruptive entrepreneur society on Facebook and We’d have a weekly Monday mastermind where you can come in and grab a hot seat and get coached by myself and some of your colleagues.

Unknown Speaker 35:08
Wonderful. Is that a like a live video? That’s on

Unknown Speaker 35:12
zoom? Okay, yeah. Yep see zoom and then link into that to do your live session.

Unknown Speaker 35:19
Yeah, so yeah, the group is on Facebook and then the event is in zoom. Oh, gotcha.

Unknown Speaker 35:24
Okay, cool, cool. Well, any of that that you’d like to ensure that gets in the show notes over there’s links to

Unknown Speaker 35:33
make definitely I think anybody and up euro would be completely welcome and bring something probably really magnificent to the group and we’re so honored and help ready to help you get to your next level.

Unknown Speaker 35:45
Awesome. Awesome. Well as to where there is just for your yourself and others, there are groups on out here calm Are you are calm. groups on OutBuro can be over When and where they are searchable by the search engines indexable by the search engines, they can also be private so that people can see that they are available. But they can’t see the content plan except being a member. But also just in case you’d like to ever utilize or would like to join or maybe start an offshoot. We also have private secret groups, which only members of the group even though it exists. Now, of course, on the admin sign, admin side, I can see that it’s there. But you know, publicly, people can see that it’s there. As well as I’ve been mentioning, in the session that is often very perfect for you is on every profile, you’re able to indicate whether you are open to being a mentor to others, would you be very pertinent for yourself, and you could say you’re open to being a mentor for you. For another and you’re and you’re a coach so that they understand it, it’s not it’s a paid relationship there some, some are not paid. And people can also indicate whether they would like a mentor. So for everyone out there if you’re not quite sure you know about it, go ahead and indicate on your profile that you would like to have a mentor and indicate the areas because we’ve already have spoken with Matthew, who is a career coach and helps you with your resume. We’ve talked with Timothy of Timothy’s Stahl’s, nutrition who is a holistic health coach and helps you with your nutrition and diet, especially those with compromised immune systems. We have talked with Larry who is the first gay per out gay person to sail around the world and he helps you transition to your next big idea of its retirement not focusing on the money but your next big move. And now we have you who focuses on the entrepreneurs and growing and staging. And as I as I’ve shared, I’ve really have focused on having coaches here my first sessions of launching out euro voices because I personally have had a year where I was privileged and had, I was working at Mirage resorts in Las Vegas. And I was helping to start a whole new portion of their IT department and they paid for life for a business life coach to come in for a whole year and work with all management from like my level up and it had a very pronounced

Unknown Speaker 38:58
difference in my career.

Unknown Speaker 39:01
In that coaching that I had with him, his name was Joseph. Within just three sessions, he was like, why are you here? I get why you’re here, but why are you here? You know, you need to be doing it. You’re doing amazing things you should be out doing this as a consultant, being a director in a consulting business, doing your own business, for goodness sakes, you know, you could be earning 678 10 times the amount of money that you are here. And sure enough, within a year, you know, things happen, the universe happens for a reason. And I got that all the systems and processes in place to a point where and I had staff to where they could literally lay me off when times got tough, because all my staff knew exactly what to do the processes and the systems were in place, and they could go a while without the department head. Well, that landed me or that right as that was happening. And the conversations that I had with Joseph gave me the courage to put my resume out. And I was picked up as a division director for a consulting firm. So I went from being we’ll just say, I doubled my income overnight. And then I went from that job within two years to launch my own business that within three years was running $12 million dollars a year in revenue. So but it all started really with that life coach, because outside of Harry Tucker, who I mentioned earlier, you know, don’t ever Don’t ask me permission for anything guy. This was the first this is the kind of the first person as a life coach who really helped me see my I own my worth in the sense of I’m not worthy, but my worth and in what I was doing professionally So, you know, and helping me see that clearly. And so that’s why I think it is so important. You know if you have the opportunity to reach out to life, business coach, health coach, career coach, someone that can look at your life and your situation and your business objective objectively. And you know, because as an entrepreneur, you’re taking your example as an entrepreneur, we get so weeded down, and in that my new shot of the day and the year so passionate about what you’re doing, and it’s your baby and no one wants to hear that their baby is ugly, right? You want to this is this is my business. This is my leaving alone allowed. And you know, but having someone like yourself, come in and say you know, you Well, in order to get where you want where you say you really want to be, here’s why to work and helping them along the way.

OutBuro Voices Interview Larry Jacobson LGBT Entrepreneur Professional Adventurer Business Life Retirement Coach Out Gay Fisrt to Sail Around the World

Larry Jacobson – Adventurer, Author, Speaker, and Coach

During his six years circumnavigating the globe after departing corporate shores, Larry accumulated priceless and hard-won souvenirs — new insights on how to master your fears and limitations, persevere through the inevitable storms on the way to success, and live out your childhood dreams against all odds.


Larry has the distinction of being the first out LGBT person to sail around the world flying a rainbow flag the entire way.

Larry’s dynamic recounting of his incredible experiences and the lessons he’s drawn from them shine a navigational beacon of inspiration for anyone who’s ever aspired to achieve great things in business or in life.

Larry on OutBüro >>

“Larry’s satisfaction comes from inspiring you to achieve your goals and make your grandest dreams and visions come true. Through his coaching, speaking, workshops, publications, and video programs, Larry has motivated people worldwide.

The Boy Behind the Gate:

How His Dream of Sailing Around the World Became a Six-Year Odyssey of Adventure, Fear, Discovery, and Love

Boy-Behind-the-Gate-Cover Larry Jacobson First Out LGBT professional sailor to sail around the world lgbtq entrepreneur life retirement business coach outburo

With his first mate and crew, amateur sailor Larry Jacobson embarked on a lifelong goal to circumnavigate the globe. The namesake boy behind the gate is a passionate romantic who, since childhood, yearned to discover what’s out there….

How do some people overcome fears and insecurities to manifest their dreams? What are the characteristics that allow them to completely transform their lives from one of stability to one of uncertainty and adventure? Don’t we all entertain ideas of reinventing ourselves, of having a chance to do it differently and by our own rules?

Willing to risk all, Jacobson spent six years sailing into the unknown where the unrelenting oceans served as a teacher of seamanship, personal strength, and perseverance.

In The Boy Behind the Gate, the author reveals those crucial steps that will motivate you to make your dreams come true. We are each given one great opportunity at life. What are you going to do with yours?

Sail into Retirement (or your passion at any point)

Not quite ready for personalized one-on-one coaching but want to still gain great advice with actionable exercises to create your plan? Sail into Retirement is then for you. The nine Course Modules contain 18 Interactive Videos, 21 Lessons, and Guided Coaching Worksheets in each lesson, that allow you to create your lifestyle plan on your own, at your own pace. The course is very affordable and provides so much to help you be ready for your next adventure in life.

The value of Sail Into Retirement is not only the information but also the system Jacobson uses in the online and personal coaching sessions. The lessons build on one another, in a logical order, which ensures you get the best results.  

From his graduate work in education at the University of California Berkeley, Jacobson understands the sequencing of learning and building a platform of knowledge step by step. He has developed Sail Into Retirement with your success in mind. You will end the course with a plan in hand.

Navigating Entrepreneurship

Online Course

How do you learn to be an entrepreneur?


You can either learn it the hard way — the school of hard knocks — or you can learn it from someone who’s already been there. What’s your time worth? Why not leverage your time by using Larry Jacobson’s 20 years of experience?

Are you prepared to deal with the fears, risks, decision-making, changes, and loneliness of being an entrepreneur? Many of today’s classes, books, and audio programs fail to address these very real challenges.

This powerful course will help you thrive as an entrepreneur as the no-nonsense instruction comes from 20 years of real-world experience.

You’ll learn how to deal with the entrepreneurial roller coaster ride that can be tough and lonely at times. Larry Jacobson knows what you’re going through.

  • Do you consider yourself an entrepreneur?
  • Are you managing a one-person venture from home?
  • Are you new to a leadership position?
  • Do you have an online retail, coaching, or other service business? Or perhaps you own a brick and mortar store with employees?
  • Are you losing sleep because of your business life?
  • Do you worry about your business so much that it’s not as fun as you imagined?
  • Do you struggle with pending decisions?
  • Are you an employee working for someone else and want to move up the ladder?
  • Do you feel alone in your pursuit, wishing you had an advisor who understands the challenges you’re facing?

If you answered YES to any of these questions, read on….

After taking this course, you will:

• Increase your self-confidence as a leader of yourself and others.

• Turn your dreams into achievable, measurable goals.

• Reduce your stress level.

• Make your time more effective.

• Make decisions faster and easier.

• Never fear your fears again.

• Truly ENJOY being an entrepreneur! Who this course is for:

  • Most helpful for entrepreneurs and solopreneurs who wear many hats in their day to day work life.

What you’ll learn – Navigate the entrepreneurial roller coaster. Students will learn how to turn dreams into goals, how to analyze risks, how to make big decisions on their own, how to deal with change, how to use fear to their advantage, how to persevere, live with passion, lead others, and commit to success. Students will learn proven strategies for goal attainment in any business role.


  • No pre-requisities required. Just a desire to succeed in your business and learn from someone who has succeeded as an entrepreneur.

Buoy Coaching

Buoy Coaching Larry Jacobson Retirement Planning Adventurer Life Coach LGBT Entrepreneur Guiding High Achievement Professional in their next life chapter OutBuro

Author and creator of the cutting-edge award-winning program, SAIL INTO RETIREMENT. Through an online interactive video classroom or VIP Private Retirement Coaching, Larry helps those at the top of their game ease out of their business and professional career to find their passion, combine it with their skills, expertise, and experience to create their next big step in life.

What are you going to do with your time in retirement? As a businessperson who has been going fast your whole life, we’ll make sure you don’t slam on the brakes and have nothing to do. After nine weeks of online classes or private coaching, you’ll have your Plan of Action for your next big step as you SAIL INTO RETIREMENT.

You’re used to doing what you do—whether it’s being a CEO, General in the army, nurse, or salesperson. Because you’ve done it for so long, and are good at what you do, it’s hard to imagine doing anything else, so you keep on doing the same thing. You say you love your work, but at this point in your life, you don’t know what else you could love doing after work ends. Are you concerned that a life of meaning might slip by? Is a life of true satisfaction slipping through your fingers right now? When will you bear the fruits of all of your hard work? Every day at work, you felt valued, needed, respected, and you contributed your knowledge. When that steady flow of interaction upon which you thrive dries up, how do you expect to transition to tending your roses without difficulty? Most people have difficulty with the transition and many fall into depression. It doesn’t have to be that way. Retirement doesn’t have to mean the end, but rather the beginning of renewal. Will you retire or renew? Financial vs. Non-Financial: Most people have a financial plan for retirement. Most do not have a non-financial plan. Maybe you have enough money to retire or perhaps you still need additional income. Either way, you’re still faced with the question of: How will you spend your days? Without a course to follow, it’s easy to drift aimlessly. Do you have a plan?

To connect with Larry find him on OutBüro here.

Join me and Larry on OutBüro, the LGBTQ professional and entrepreneur online community network for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, allies and our employers who support LGBTQ welcoming workplace equality focused benefits, policies, and business practices.

Would you like to be featured like this? Contact the host Dennis Velco.